Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Taking a moment to decide ...

I truly believe that we all come to Earth for personal growth. We choose a few things to work on during our lifetime often referred to as contracts. Examples of contracts are: we will learn how to set boundaries, have joy, achieve balance, deal with abandonment, learn how to receive, learn how to give, have patience, etc. We will definitely encounter experiences that will help us to identify and master our contracts. Anything we see as a repetitive occurrence in our lives will most likely be a lesson for us. If you’re someone who is constantly abandoned, then maybe you have an abandonment contract: if you seem to do things to the extreme, then maybe you have a balance contract and so on.

Contracts are definitely something we choose to take on prior to incarnating. We will most likely choose a total of three or four at most to work on. I will give you an example of two of my contracts: joy and boundaries. I’ve talked about my joy contract quite a bit in previous posts. I seem to be doing much better with being in a state of gratitude and therefore joy on a more regular basis. It was definitely something I had to identify so that I can work on. People and situations will come into your life to help you with your contracts. My husband, as an example, is a key person in my joy contract. He may wake up saying, “isn’t this a fantastic day!” There may not be anything special going on that day other than the weather is beautiful. It took me a while to realize that he was teaching me how to have joy in my every day.

Another of my contracts is setting boundaries. My boundary contract appears in the form of me not being able to say "no," or not realizing when someone is crossing a line with me. It could happen in the simplest ways. Boundaries could appear at the grocery store when someone cuts the line, or when someone does not respect your wish of not talking about something or asking you to do something that is somewhat outrageous, or making plans with you to cancel constantly, and so on. My boundary contract was definitely the toughest thing I had to overcome. I remember sweating on the phone wondering how I would say "no," to someone if I really didn’t want to do what they proposed. It’s like a baby taking its first steps, I had to practice.

I tell my clients who suffer from boundary issues not to answer the phone right away or give the answer on the spot. Sometimes when we have a few moments to think about something, we can check with our gut to see how we really feel about it. Take the time necessary to make sure you’re not signing yourself up for something that makes you unhappy. After playing my tennis match last night, I had to ask myself if this is something that makes me happy. During the match, I wasn’t having any fun, so I had to figure out why. I realized it’s because I was playing in stifling heat, so now I know that the next time it’s that hot I will just have to decline playing that night. I may also decide against playing league tennis where I don’t feel obligated to a team to show up. I almost fainted on the court last night and I didn’t think that was worth it for tennis.

A lot of intuitive people have trouble with boundaries. It seems like if we had clear cut boundaries then how could we possibly connect with the spirit world. With that said, it is essential to maintain some healthy boundaries for our well-being. We need to check in with ourselves to realize what makes us whole and happy. If we’re being pulled in way too many directions, then that serves to do nothing other than to completely scatter our energy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com

Realizing when to say no!

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