Thursday, April 28, 2016

Making a Book out of his Page

I have a friend who is a stay at home dad. Technically his job description and mine are the same. I take my job a lot more seriously though. 

Taking a book out of his page 

I was telling a mutual friend of ours that I'm going to take a book out of his page. Of course, I meant to say a page out of his book but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was right the first time. 

I saw him the other day sitting out on his front porch reading a newspaper. It was a Tuesday at like 11:30 am. It was the perfect sunny day to do just that. Of course, I was only able to quickly glance at what he was doing because I was speeding off to fulfill my never-ending to do list. 

Just to prove my own point. I started writing this post at 7:45 am and I'm currently writing at 8:50 pm. What keeps me so busy anyway? Today as an example, I was running from one errand to the next. When would it be a good time to just sit down and read a newspaper?

Change is not easy 

The last real job I had was designing cell phone sites for T-Mobile. I loved that job. It was fun and very rewarding. A few months into the job, I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. I quit my job 10 days after he was born. Never did I think I wouldn't work but here I was thinking to myself that I couldn't leave this tiny baby. 

I remember never taking a break when he was an infant. No matter how many people would say to me to sleep or rest when he did, I couldn't. I was always busy with something that seemed important at the time. 

I have gotten better over the years where I sometimes will nap or rest during the day for 15 minutes. I am in a good habit of meditating as well. I am definitely not to the point of just sitting down in the middle of the day without having the purpose of resting for a few minutes before going to pick up my kids from school and driving them to all their activities. 

Nothing to do 

We rented a condo the month of January in Keystone this past winter. The absolute best thing about it was that the day I wasn't skiing, there was nothing for me to do other than to read a book or relax in some way. If I were at home, I'd be cleaning out closets or rearranging the pantry or reorganizing my pictures or the multitude of other things I would think of doing. 

I'm going to make the effort to sit like my neighbor did just for the fun of it. I am going to take a page out of his book and turn it into my own book. I am going to read my magazine or book or whatever and just enjoy the sunshine. Now if it would quit snowing and raining in Denver, I could get on with my promise to myself! 

Thoughts ...
I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

When life is good, it's just good

My 11 year old son Zack plays on a competitive soccer team. The club he plays for has five different levels for competitive soccer. They go from Academy, Burgundy, White, Blue and Gold with A and B teams in every level as well.

He went through tryouts last May and made the White team. All of his teammates at the time made either Burgundy or Academy. Needless to say he was fairly disappointed but being the mild natured kid that he is, he made new friends on his new team and started having a ton of fun.

Yesterday, after practice he told me that he was feeling sad that two of his teammates are potentially moving up to the Burgundy level. He felt like he wanted that opportunity as well.

When life is good ...

At this moment in time, life is pretty good for a little boy name Zack in the world of sports. He plays on a super fun soccer team where he plays on the field and as a goalie. He is on a baseball team with quite a few of his friends from the neighborhood. My husband coaches his flag football team. There are 10 kids on the team all of which are his friends. He plays tennis with two of his best buddies.

My answer to the sadness was, "Zack when life is good, it's just good" and I went on to explain to him how it was great for him right now with all his sports. I told him that if he wanted to play at that higher soccer level, he might have to give up some of the other sports to focus on his ball skills. He also would not be given the opportunity to play in the field as well as in the goal because at the higher level they don't allow them to do that.

I told him that I was fully confident that he could make the higher team if he practiced every day and put his mind to it. Now the big question, "Are you willing to do that?" The answer of course, was no.

Zack's entire mood changed after our conversation and he said that I was right and that he really was happy and content with all that he had going now.

Be careful what you pray for ... you might just get it

I read a book a while back with the title, "Be Careful What you Pray for, you Might just get it" I remember that book anytime I'm in a situation where I want something other than what I have at the moment and ask myself "Is that really what I want or is life pretty good now?"

Anytime I feel like I wish I had more money like that guy or I wish as was as thin as that woman or I wish I was as tall as that person ..  I ask myself if I would trade places with that person. If I am not willing to trade places and take the whole package as it is, I realize that my life is exactly where I want it to be at the moment and everything is good. If I do a check and realize it's not good, then I make different choices so that the outcome looks different.

Thoughts ...

I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Monday, April 11, 2016

Ronald McDonald House Breakfast

My friend and I volunteered to make a breakfast for Ronald McDonald House of Aurora yesterday. It was truly a life-changing morning. Ronald McDonald House offers a place for families to stay while their children are undergoing treatment at the hospital.

It was a family affair

Children over the age of 13 are welcome to help with the meal as well. Her husband and two older boys, my husband and oldest son and the two of us cooked a breakfast yesterday morning. I was so nervous about the whole thing. I have the weakest heart when it comes to children with illnesses. I just can't take it. I hate to hear of any child suffering in any way.

Regardless, I woke up at 5 am to get myself organized to get to the house by 6 am so that we can be ready to serve by 9 am. As soon as I walked through the double doors and saw a wheelchair, I was thinking to myself I shouldn't have signed up for this. I just can't deal.

Thankfully my friend showed up just a few minutes after I did and talked me off the ledge. My instruction was to think of it as a breakfast party. I love parties so that was a good solution. I made gluten free muffins, waffle batter and home-made whipped cream while she cut up fruit and started on the egg casseroles. Her husband and two boys showed up a little later along with my husband and son. We were all busy getting ready for game time.

My 13 year old and her 14 year old were in charge of the waffles. They served them up like champs. Her 17 year old was amazing! He helped make sausage and bacon, helped serve bagels and donuts and is if that wasn't enough started socializing with the families when they came in.

The stories 

I told my friend that she was better at socializing in this scenario than I was and that she should take her food and go sit with the woman who was holding a baby. I stayed tucked into the kitchen frying bacon so that I wouldn't have to hear of children with cancer.

Sure enough the woman with a baby has an eight year old girl with brain cancer. I wanted to cry at that moment. I just really didn't want that child or parent or sibling to be struggling with that. The daughter is expected to be fine thank God but still I didn't want to hear it.

Story after story came, the five year old with leukemia, the baby in utero who needs a heart transplant, the grandma talking about the twins who are in treatment. Yet these people had smiles on their faces and were beyond grateful for the simple meal we provided for them. They were gracious and kind and appreciative for all that was there. They all were trying to make the best out of the situation they were in.

Grateful for our health and all that is

I started to think about my life and how blessed I am for all that is. I had to leave Ronald McDonald house by 11 am so that we could get our son to his soccer game at 12:30. I thought about all the kids on the soccer field and how lucky they all were to be free of burden and to just have the opportunity to play. I thought about all the trivial stuff we stress about and how trivial it really is when we talk to a parent who has a child undergoing chemotherapy.

My prayers were to Archangel Raphael last night for a complete recovery for every child with any illness that we encountered yesterday. The five year old boy with leukemia was the cutest kid we've ever seen. Happy and bubbly yet going through so much. He's such a brave little guy with such a big dharma. I am positive he will overcome his illness and proceed to change the world with his precious smile.

Please help if you can

Our book club is going to cook dinner for Ronald McDonald House instead of meeting to discuss a book this month. I'm excited to go back again and do the little bit I can to ease the burden of what these families are going through. I can't say that I'm going to be any better at hearing the stories. I'll send my friend to do that while I try my best to keep it together.

If you and your friends have an opportunity to make a meal or donate to this charity in any way, it'll really be life-changing for you and a huge help to them! Donating something as simple as paper towels would be very much appreciated. Find your local Ronald McDonald House by following this link: http://www.rmhc.org

I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Weekly Intentions

My friend and I have been sending each other an intention for the week since the beginning of the year. Every Monday morning I send her a text with my intention for the week and I get hers. I didn’t realize how amazing of a ritual that was going to be.

Intention ideas 

Our intention may be something along the lines of “My intention for the week is self care” or “This week I am going to set my boundaries better” or “I am going to eat super clean this week with no sugar consumption at all” or “I am going to meditate every day” and so on. Those were texts I have actually sent.

Now that we are 3 months into the year, I find myself thinking about my intention on Sunday afternoon. It has become something I look forward to doing for myself. Sharing it with a friend gives it that extra commitment level. I have to say it has worked! 

Operating outside of my body

My kids and I were in Florida last week for Spring break. My husband couldn’t come with us because he had to work. That’s an overrated activity if I had to say anything about it :) 

Anyway, although I traveled with my friend and her family and they were super helpful with my kids, I was still ON all the time. I was so overstimulated by the time we got home. I sent her my intention on Sunday night and it read, “My intention for this week is to meditate twice a day. I’m so overstimulated, I feel like I’m operating outside of my body.”

I have meditated every day so far and I feel like I’m settled so much better now. I am so much calmer with my kids and family. 

Balance is key

As a mother of three children, I feel like I am constantly outputting. My husband has a very demanding job that requires him to travel or work long hours while he is at home. The majority of the home life falls on my shoulders.  I find that the weekly intention has forced me to shift my focus on what's important or necessary for me to do to achieve a balanced feeling. 

We tend to forget what's important for us to maintain sanity. We are constantly running from one activity to another especially if we have kids. Life has become so hectic that slowing down and figuring out what's important to us is extremely necessary.

I would love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Am I Ever in that Picture?

I have been in Florida all week on vacation. I am here with my kids, my friend and her family. We are staying with my brother and his family. We were supposed to come with my husband as well. A blizzard hit the day we were leaving, we had to cancel our flight for that day, leave a few days afterwards and push back our return. He couldn't be away from work the following week so he ended up staying back.

It's a legit excuse 

The reason for this whole explanation is to tell you that I'm alone with the three children. I'm trying to justify why for the whole week I was here I am in maybe four or five pictures. I read an article not too long ago that this person wrote about her mom. I believe her mother had passed away and she was showing her kids their grandmother's pictures.

She mentioned that there never was a shortage of pictures her mother was in. Here she was laying in the sun, here she was playing tennis, here she was building sandcastles and so on. The mom was always in the memory not preserving the memory without participating in it.

Participating in the moment?

I have been thinking about that a lot since I read that article. I take a LOT of pictures. I would say I am in less than 10% of them. I've certainly started to question why that is. Why am I never in the Easter coloring pictures, or Christmas cookie making or whatever memory I for sure preserve. They will NEVER see a picture of me on the beach because I have yet to lose those 10 pounds or 5 or whatever. I have to be in better clothes or my hair isn't perfect.

My dad passed away quite a few years ago. I wanted to put all the pictures we had of him in one album. I cherished every picture I found. I did't care if he looked overweight, if his hair was grey, if his smile wasn't perfect ... I didn't see any of his flaws. I'm sure he had them but to me he was perfect.

It's time to be in that picture!

I have been better since making an effort but I'm still far from being good. This whole week I could have been much better. I had a picture from when I first gave birth to my oldest son who is now 13! I can't believe how time flies.

Anyway, since having my first child, I don't think I've ever felt fit again. I'm always working on at least 5 pounds. I looked back at that picture not too long ago and couldn't see what I was feeling at the time. I looked fine, I was healthy and I was happy. What more could I have asked for in a moment?

I'd love to hear from you. Let me know how you deal with patience and time. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com