Thursday, May 27, 2010

There's only living

I attended a memorial service today for one of my friends. Sue Combes passed away on May 17, 2010. She and I attended the same spiritual program for two years. She was one of those people who could read a situation for what it was and call you out on it. Her questions were such that you were left thinking for days after you thought you had answered them. I feel bad that we hadn’t really been in touch for the past year or so. Each of us was dealing with our own struggles; mine with miscarriages and hers with cancer. I will miss her.

The reverend told a metaphorical story about how we on earth say goodbye to those we love when they pass and how those on the other side are greeting them. Just like when a baby is born we are so happy to welcome that baby into the world then maybe death is being born in heaven. Maybe Sue’s parents and relatives who have passed before her are ecstatic to see her. He also allowed us to think then when babies become toddlers and toddlers become young children that we never mourn them moving from one phase to another. Death is exactly that; it’s moving from one phase to another. He also talked about the fact that we all have to find another form of relationship with Sue. We may no longer be able to pick up the phone and call or email her but the communication lines are still open for that relationship. I found all these ideas to be full of hope.

I had thought about these ideas throughout my dealings with grief. In reality there’s only living; whether it’s living on earth or living in Heaven it’s truly only living. The hardest part is adjusting to the lack of that physical contact but that person is still there. Our loved ones will send us signs that they are OK if we ask for that reassurance. I remember one night while I was still living in Lebanon I came home around 7 pm. The electricity was out and it was raining pretty hard. I had the feeling of being somewhat spooked when I just thought of my dad. At that moment every light in the house turned on and I mean every single light. It was amazing. I remember the day that my son was getting christened my brothers were coming in town and I thought that it would’ve been nice to have my dad there too. While thinking that thought, the song “butterfly kisses” came on the radio which always reminded me of my dad. These are not coincidences rather they are messages from my dad that he is there with me when I need him.

There are various ways that spirits can communicate with us. They can affect energy so they may dim lights, turn on remote control objects or things of that nature. They can send us songs, flowers or coins. I always tell people that if something reminds you of the person then it’s probably a sign from them. My dad seems to mess with energy or send me songs the most. We used to have a remote control car for my kids that would just randomly turn on lights or move forward and backward. My husband, mom, the two kids and I were sitting around one day after my boys’ birthday when this remote control car started blinking its lights. I told them that I thought it was my dad because I had invited him to come to the birthday. So my husband says “Joe if that’s you then blink the light three times” the car would blink three times, then he’d say “make it go forward” and the car would go forward. It was really wild that we communicated with my dad for a few minutes. He was there to let us know that he had attended his grandkids’ birthday party. It was total validation that they are always with us and they are truly living.

Sue, I wish you peace. You will be missed tremendously.

If you have any questions on your loved ones trying to communicate with you please feel free to email me to, leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook at


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