Here is my declaration; I have decided to write a book about my pregnancy losses. This thought has been brewing for a while now and I think that it’s time for me to share it. Ever since last summer I seem to take my time with thoughts and reactions more. I had to really think about what my expectations were from writing a book and why that would be something I’d like to do. I thought back to the first few weeks after my third pregnancy loss and remembered how much relief I got from reading Life Touches Life. That is what I’d like for my book to do; I’d like it to offer someone the relief that I felt.
I believe that memoirs tend to serve both the author and the reader. I started writing the book a few days ago and I have to say that it’s been somewhat weird re-living some of those moments that I thought I had forgotten or gotten over and I’m still writing about the first miscarriage! Can you imagine what it would be like when I get to the last one which was by far the most intense experience of them all?
The topic of shamanism has always been extremely fascinating to me. Shamanism will talk about something called “soul loss and soul retrieval.” Soul loss is the concept of leaving a piece of your soul with a traumatic experience. It sounds so harsh to feel like you lose a part of your soul so I like to think of it as an energy imprint. Something tragic happens and we leave an energy imprint behind with that experience in that moment of time. Anytime you say “part of me died that day” then you can equate that to an energy imprint or soul loss. It’s always recommended that something be done to retrieve that energy imprint so that you may become whole again. One of the methods is through a soul retrieval performed by a shaman. I have experienced a soul retrieval before and I must say it is an amazing experience. I don’t believe it’s the only method available to us though. Meditations, intentions and affirmations all work just as great as well.
I believe that with every pregnancy loss, I left behind an energy imprint. I have certainly done a few things to help bring those pieces of me back but I feel that writing this book will be the ultimate healer. I feel that it’s going to be amazingly therapeutic to write about my feelings and experience. I hope it will offer someone who has been through similar experiences some hope and relief as well.
The most amazing of all is that the magpies have left. Ever since I decided to write the book and started it, I haven’t seen them. I knew that they had come for a reason and maybe I figured it out. I believe they provided the magic and umph necessary for this new adventure. Wish me luck!
I will be traveling to Paris tomorrow. I am extremely excited but also a little nervous about leaving my boys behind. They seem to be looking forward to their huge sleepover with their friends; they packed their bags with such joy today that it helped release some of my nervousness. I am looking forward to romantic walks on the Champs-Elysees with my husband, cafes, museums, french pastries and so much more.
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