I talk about life lessons or contracts every once in a while in this blog. I love this subject because it’s one that constantly comes up for me and I’m sure everyone I know. Once you’ve identified a life lesson, it becomes easier to realize when it’s there smacking you right in the face.
Boundaries … it will always be
I’ve shared that my huge life lesson is setting boundaries. This lesson used to manifest itself in the form of me not being able to say no to a request "no" matter how outrageous it was. Now, that I have mastered that ability, I find that my boundary lesson has changed. It now comes in the form of me not accepting how someone is treating me.
I used to have a friend that would constantly cancel on me. We’d set up plans to do something together and an hour or so before we were to get together, she would cancel. I never realized that was a form of boundary setting that I had yet to learn. It was an opportunity for me to quit making plans with her, yet I never did.
Lately, I’ve realized that I’ve attracted the same situation back into my life. Life lessons are like that. They will keep coming back giving you the opportunity to learn them. I was very proud of myself for recognizing the trend early this time. It just doesn’t feel good when someone feels like they can cancel on you last minute. I don’t know what the message in that is, but to me it’s implying that my time is not as valuable as theirs.
I’ll never cancel on someone just because
I’ve shared that I’ve switched from an electronic calendar to a paper one. May I add that I love it! I am constantly organized and know what’s coming up for me. I keep it at home so that I’m not burdened with the “calendar” everywhere I go. It always me a little more breathing room when committing or not to an event.
When I do commit to something though, it’s there. I will only cancel when it’s a desperate situation such as an illness otherwise, I am there. Canceling because I’m tired or because I just don’t feel like it or because I’d rather do something else is not who I am. I do have a friend who feels comfortable canceling for those reasons. That is definitely her choice in life. My choice to deal with that is to not make any plans with her. I’m just not into feeling bad anymore.
“Does it feel good?”
I’ve also shared in past posts that the one question I live by is, “Does it feel good?” If the answer is no, then that’s enough said. It just doesn’t feel good to be canceled on last minute so therefore the remedy is “don’t make plans with that person.” It doesn’t have to be a big drama deal, if we see each other socially or the kids want to play then that’s fine, but a plan that’s made ahead of time is obviously a no-no.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook at marysalfi.com
Hopefully a little closer to mastering the boundary lesson! I mean how many more ways can it possibly show up?
Mary
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Choices ...
My youngest son will start mostly every sentence with, “He made me do it.” My response is always, “No one can make you do anything, you make your own choices and when you do, the consequences are based on your choices.”
Granted, he’s only six years old and that concept may be a little too much for him right now. It’s easier for him to say that it is someone else’s fault anytime he’s in trouble rather than owning up to it himself.
Peer pressure?
I’ve thought about how as adults we either take responsibility for our actions or not. Is it always someone else’s fault? Really? My reply to that is anything that happens to you is a result of your choices and only your choices.
I had a friend that would peer pressure me into things I really didn’t want to do. Even as an adult, I felt like I couldn’t say “no” to the stupid thing she wanted to do next. I wouldn’t say they were terrible things, just things I really didn’t want to do. That’s when I still hadn’t figured out that I have problems saying "no" and setting boundaries.
I find that I’ve come a long way from those days. I have trained myself to think before I reply. I usually never give an answer right away. I sleep on it and then decide how I feel. I find that my decisions are a lot more balanced and peaceful that way.
The choice of a meal plan
I’ve recently put together a weekly meal plan for our family. I got the idea from a fantastic book called, “Simplicity Parenting” by Kim John Payne. Truly, it has taken the stress out of grocery shopping and figuring out meals for us. The kids have come to love fish Wednesdays just as much as staek Mondays.
It has brought predictability into our house that is truly harmonizing. Due to my meal plan, I’ve found that I am less inclined to go out to dinner during the middle of the week anymore. I used to go out with just my friends every once in a while and now I find that my choice is to not do that or set that up. It is my choice to have as many family dinners as I can. I truly love that time with my family.
Our kids take turn saying a blessing every night. I feel it allows us all to exhale and enjoy the next 45 minutes to an hour of dinner time together. We’re not as rushed and hectic anymore. Our conversations are a lot deeper than we could have imagined as well.
Our kids will tell us about their day at school and we might share how our day went. Last night, my son was asking about nuns and somehow we ended up talking about Mother Teresa and how wonderful a human being she was.
What a great experience we’ve had!
I feel that thinking about the choices we make allows us so much more depth in our lives. The choice of a meal plan and having dinner at 6:30 pm every night as a family has brought a richness to our family life that is amazing.
Our free nights are Fridays and Saturdays. That allows us the opportunity to order pizza or go out to dinner if that’s what we feel like doing. The nights when my husband is out of town, we still continue our trend and it allows the kids and I to maintain some of our balance with an unbalanced
situation.
What a great choice that was for our family!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by "liking" marysalfi.com
Thinking before acting!
Mary
Granted, he’s only six years old and that concept may be a little too much for him right now. It’s easier for him to say that it is someone else’s fault anytime he’s in trouble rather than owning up to it himself.
Peer pressure?
I’ve thought about how as adults we either take responsibility for our actions or not. Is it always someone else’s fault? Really? My reply to that is anything that happens to you is a result of your choices and only your choices.
I had a friend that would peer pressure me into things I really didn’t want to do. Even as an adult, I felt like I couldn’t say “no” to the stupid thing she wanted to do next. I wouldn’t say they were terrible things, just things I really didn’t want to do. That’s when I still hadn’t figured out that I have problems saying "no" and setting boundaries.
I find that I’ve come a long way from those days. I have trained myself to think before I reply. I usually never give an answer right away. I sleep on it and then decide how I feel. I find that my decisions are a lot more balanced and peaceful that way.
The choice of a meal plan
I’ve recently put together a weekly meal plan for our family. I got the idea from a fantastic book called, “Simplicity Parenting” by Kim John Payne. Truly, it has taken the stress out of grocery shopping and figuring out meals for us. The kids have come to love fish Wednesdays just as much as staek Mondays.
It has brought predictability into our house that is truly harmonizing. Due to my meal plan, I’ve found that I am less inclined to go out to dinner during the middle of the week anymore. I used to go out with just my friends every once in a while and now I find that my choice is to not do that or set that up. It is my choice to have as many family dinners as I can. I truly love that time with my family.
Our kids take turn saying a blessing every night. I feel it allows us all to exhale and enjoy the next 45 minutes to an hour of dinner time together. We’re not as rushed and hectic anymore. Our conversations are a lot deeper than we could have imagined as well.
Our kids will tell us about their day at school and we might share how our day went. Last night, my son was asking about nuns and somehow we ended up talking about Mother Teresa and how wonderful a human being she was.
What a great experience we’ve had!
I feel that thinking about the choices we make allows us so much more depth in our lives. The choice of a meal plan and having dinner at 6:30 pm every night as a family has brought a richness to our family life that is amazing.
Our free nights are Fridays and Saturdays. That allows us the opportunity to order pizza or go out to dinner if that’s what we feel like doing. The nights when my husband is out of town, we still continue our trend and it allows the kids and I to maintain some of our balance with an unbalanced
situation.
What a great choice that was for our family!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by "liking" marysalfi.com
Thinking before acting!
Mary
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Smothering my boy with love
Our boys have totally been reacting to spring. Like little bees, they’ve been buzzing and flitting everywhere. In the process, they have been driving us crazy. My one friend said, “It’s like the seed that’s trying to sprout out of the ground. It has all this energy in it that’s making it buzz and fidget, trying to make its way out of the ground.” That image of my boys having all this energy really put it in perspective for me.
That’s not to say we’ve been coping with all this extra energy calmly and peacefully. We’ve been especially frustrated with our oldest son, Louie, who just turned eight. I felt that my whole day was spent telling him to stop doing that annoying thing he was doing. The hardest thing to deal with was his lack of respect for me and my mother in addition to that extra dose of defiance he was displaying.
Meditating on the cause
I started reading a book by Henning Kohler called, “Working with Nervous, Anxious and Depressed Children.” Louie’s teacher recommended it as an excellent read for any parent of a child in the lower grades. He said, “Get past the title and read it for the content.” We are actually reading it as a second grade parent body and will be discussing it in a month.
It’s not the simplest of books to read, but the first few pages talk about every child having a guardian angel who helps them. He continues to say that we can ask their guardian angel to help us figure out what’s going on with our child prior going to sleep. I decided to meditate on Louie a few nights ago to try to figure out what was going on with all the extra emotion he was having and causing.
I woke up at three am and had my epiphany. The answer was that he felt that he wasn’t getting enough attention and consequently didn’t feel loved. Therefore, all his acting out was a form of getting attention. I thought about that without getting defensive. I know that my husband and I give him so much attention and love. That wasn’t the point though; the point was that he was feeling like that wasn’t enough.
Smothering him with love
I told my husband what I thought in the morning and he said that he could see that. We called Louie and his brother into our room and gave them the biggest bear hug and smothered them with love. We took our time in making him feel that we really, really loved and cared about him. We’ve also made an extra effort to show him that love continuously throughout the day. The amazing thing is that it worked. He’s mellowed out completely and the disrespect is gone.
Today, I happened to be hearing a lecture on CD by Kim John Payne called, “The
Compassionate Response” and it was basically saying the same thing. At times, when our kids defy us, we tend to rise up to the occasion rather than assuming that something is truly bothering them whether it is warranted in our mind or not. We treat both our kids the same, it’s just that for some reason, Louie needed an extra boost. Giving it to him has allowed that wonderful being he is to shine through again.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Can’t wait to give my boy his bear hug when I see him!
Mary
That’s not to say we’ve been coping with all this extra energy calmly and peacefully. We’ve been especially frustrated with our oldest son, Louie, who just turned eight. I felt that my whole day was spent telling him to stop doing that annoying thing he was doing. The hardest thing to deal with was his lack of respect for me and my mother in addition to that extra dose of defiance he was displaying.
Meditating on the cause
I started reading a book by Henning Kohler called, “Working with Nervous, Anxious and Depressed Children.” Louie’s teacher recommended it as an excellent read for any parent of a child in the lower grades. He said, “Get past the title and read it for the content.” We are actually reading it as a second grade parent body and will be discussing it in a month.
It’s not the simplest of books to read, but the first few pages talk about every child having a guardian angel who helps them. He continues to say that we can ask their guardian angel to help us figure out what’s going on with our child prior going to sleep. I decided to meditate on Louie a few nights ago to try to figure out what was going on with all the extra emotion he was having and causing.
I woke up at three am and had my epiphany. The answer was that he felt that he wasn’t getting enough attention and consequently didn’t feel loved. Therefore, all his acting out was a form of getting attention. I thought about that without getting defensive. I know that my husband and I give him so much attention and love. That wasn’t the point though; the point was that he was feeling like that wasn’t enough.
Smothering him with love
I told my husband what I thought in the morning and he said that he could see that. We called Louie and his brother into our room and gave them the biggest bear hug and smothered them with love. We took our time in making him feel that we really, really loved and cared about him. We’ve also made an extra effort to show him that love continuously throughout the day. The amazing thing is that it worked. He’s mellowed out completely and the disrespect is gone.
Today, I happened to be hearing a lecture on CD by Kim John Payne called, “The
Compassionate Response” and it was basically saying the same thing. At times, when our kids defy us, we tend to rise up to the occasion rather than assuming that something is truly bothering them whether it is warranted in our mind or not. We treat both our kids the same, it’s just that for some reason, Louie needed an extra boost. Giving it to him has allowed that wonderful being he is to shine through again.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Can’t wait to give my boy his bear hug when I see him!
Mary
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The world is a great place!
I read a book called, “Same Soul, Many Bodies” by Brian Weiss a few years ago. Brian Weiss is an expert on past lives. I attended a couple of his workshops and they were always extremely insightful. In this particular book, he talked about what people saw when he hypnotized them to the future.
I remember distinctly the opening of the book, where he mentioned that in the future the Middle East will be uninhabitable to humans. I remember thinking to myself that might happen with all the wars that erupt in that part of the world. It is very sad for me to think about that being that I am from Lebanon.
Predictions of Nostradamus 2012
The other day, I was watching “Nostradamus, 2012” on the history channel. It was talking about Nostradamus’ predictions and how a particular date in 2012 was going to be extremely ominous based on the alignment of the solar system or something along those lines.
To me it sounded like the movie was saying that it was actually the end of days. It actually scared me enough to turn it off. Although, I do readings, I don’t like predictions of this nature.
I have thought about it since I watched the few minutes of it which was about a month ago. I’ve also been thinking about the countries in the Middle East and all their unrest. I’ve been thinking about Japan and how it has been hit by a horrible natural disaster and how that might be compounded by a man-made disaster. If you watch enough news, you’d think the end of days was coming.
I refuse to believe it!
I’ve finally decided though that I am not going to believe any of it. I would like to look at it as a renewal. Maybe 2012 will mark something significant, but I am sure that it will be followed with something extremely incredible.
There are so many great people out there who are raising the vibration of the planet. For whatever reason, we are exposed to sad news more than the good news, but the awesome news is out there if we want to listen to it.
The world is a great place!
Anytime, I go pick up my boys from school and watch all the kids on the playground, I think the world is good. If we have kids like these growing up in the world, then all is good. When you see people recycling or helping an animal or helping their neighbor, there’s no other way but to feel that the world is good. Anytime, I go to the mountains and soak in their beauty, I remember all is good in the world.
I loved the movie, “The Blind Side.” It’s probably one of my all-time favorites. I love the line in the movie where Michael Oher says that his mom used to tell him to close his eyes anytime she was doing something she didn’t want him to see. Then she would tell him to open his eyes and that the world was a good place.
I feel life is going to happen. The moon is going to be close to the Earth and cause upsets in tidal waves. At the same time, when disaster happens, the world is going to respond and send relief to wherever it needs to go.
There were two little girls selling lemonade yesterday and all their proceeds were going to the aid of Japan. The world is a great place!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Doing my part!
Mary
I remember distinctly the opening of the book, where he mentioned that in the future the Middle East will be uninhabitable to humans. I remember thinking to myself that might happen with all the wars that erupt in that part of the world. It is very sad for me to think about that being that I am from Lebanon.
Predictions of Nostradamus 2012
The other day, I was watching “Nostradamus, 2012” on the history channel. It was talking about Nostradamus’ predictions and how a particular date in 2012 was going to be extremely ominous based on the alignment of the solar system or something along those lines.
To me it sounded like the movie was saying that it was actually the end of days. It actually scared me enough to turn it off. Although, I do readings, I don’t like predictions of this nature.
I have thought about it since I watched the few minutes of it which was about a month ago. I’ve also been thinking about the countries in the Middle East and all their unrest. I’ve been thinking about Japan and how it has been hit by a horrible natural disaster and how that might be compounded by a man-made disaster. If you watch enough news, you’d think the end of days was coming.
I refuse to believe it!
I’ve finally decided though that I am not going to believe any of it. I would like to look at it as a renewal. Maybe 2012 will mark something significant, but I am sure that it will be followed with something extremely incredible.
There are so many great people out there who are raising the vibration of the planet. For whatever reason, we are exposed to sad news more than the good news, but the awesome news is out there if we want to listen to it.
The world is a great place!
Anytime, I go pick up my boys from school and watch all the kids on the playground, I think the world is good. If we have kids like these growing up in the world, then all is good. When you see people recycling or helping an animal or helping their neighbor, there’s no other way but to feel that the world is good. Anytime, I go to the mountains and soak in their beauty, I remember all is good in the world.
I loved the movie, “The Blind Side.” It’s probably one of my all-time favorites. I love the line in the movie where Michael Oher says that his mom used to tell him to close his eyes anytime she was doing something she didn’t want him to see. Then she would tell him to open his eyes and that the world was a good place.
I feel life is going to happen. The moon is going to be close to the Earth and cause upsets in tidal waves. At the same time, when disaster happens, the world is going to respond and send relief to wherever it needs to go.
There were two little girls selling lemonade yesterday and all their proceeds were going to the aid of Japan. The world is a great place!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Doing my part!
Mary
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The winds of change
When I lost the baby a couple of years ago, we had her cremated. At the time, it didn’t feel good to do nothing with the body and a burial just seemed a little too much.
For the past month or so, I’ve been feeling the need to scatter the ashes. I just feel like that cycle is done and it’s now time for us to move on.
I would avoid looking up at the shelf where I had them stored and I just felt like holding on to her just didn’t seem right for either one of us.
Heading to the park
My husband came home for lunch this past Monday and we went to the park to scatter the ashes. It was a weird walk to the park. I had so many emotions working that I didn’t know where to start with them all.
It was a beautiful day with sunny blue skies and a slight wind. It was also the first day of spring. I thought to myself that it was truly symbolic of what it is I wanted to feel.
Spring is about rebirth and renewal. That’s how I wanted to feel. I wanted to let her go so that she can do whatever it is she needed to do and I wanted a new page turned for myself.
I couldn’t help but realize that I held some anger and resentment towards this baby. After all, I had so many messages to have another child. I felt like I was duped, because otherwise why would I be at the park scattering ashes and not at home playing with a baby.
My husband said a few nice words and asked if I wanted to do the same. I said no, I just wanted to be done with it. I thought to myself, I’m probably going to have to revisit this issue again someday, but for right now, taking this step was good enough.
All the emotion finally hit me
It was only after I got home about an hour later that all the emotions hit me. I called my friend whose mother had lost a baby as well. She completely understood my emotions and listened to me cry my eyes out.
I dried my eyes, threw some water on my face and went to get my boys from school. That is the life of a mother after all; you just sometimes need to get on with it, regardless of what it is you are feeling.
The wind’s effect
The wind had grown stronger by this point. I’ve always thought the wind aggravated me. It just does something to me that I can’t explain. I get irritable and cranky.
It’s only after I read my friends blog about her feeling the same way about the wind that I realized, I wasn’t alone in all this.
According to another friend’s explanation, “Strong west winds produce positive ions, which if you look it up are irritating. (Versus negative ions that are found by waterfalls - pleasant and peaceful.) Some cultures have even forgiven certain lawbreaking activities during these winds."
I had to think about that statement later. Maybe that was the cause of the extreme anger and irritability I was feeling later that day.
Another friend commented that maybe the wind will carry the spirit of those who have died to heaven quicker. I thought about that as well. Maybe the wind that day was an indication of Isabella’s spirit finally leaving completely and going back to heaven where it belongs.
Is it a coincidence I ended up with a really bad cold on Tuesday morning? I don’t think so. There was definitely some purging to do and here it is.
Yet among it all, plenty to celebrate
There was definitely a lot to celebrate this week though. My son’s birthday was on Tuesday. My big boy just turned eight. He is such a great kid.
Him and his brother truly bring joy to my heart like I never thought possible. He wanted his dad’s excellent chicken tacos for dinner and of course, I had to get some fabulous desserts to top that evening off.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Looking forward to a smoother road ahead!
Mary
For the past month or so, I’ve been feeling the need to scatter the ashes. I just feel like that cycle is done and it’s now time for us to move on.
I would avoid looking up at the shelf where I had them stored and I just felt like holding on to her just didn’t seem right for either one of us.
Heading to the park
My husband came home for lunch this past Monday and we went to the park to scatter the ashes. It was a weird walk to the park. I had so many emotions working that I didn’t know where to start with them all.
It was a beautiful day with sunny blue skies and a slight wind. It was also the first day of spring. I thought to myself that it was truly symbolic of what it is I wanted to feel.
Spring is about rebirth and renewal. That’s how I wanted to feel. I wanted to let her go so that she can do whatever it is she needed to do and I wanted a new page turned for myself.
I couldn’t help but realize that I held some anger and resentment towards this baby. After all, I had so many messages to have another child. I felt like I was duped, because otherwise why would I be at the park scattering ashes and not at home playing with a baby.
My husband said a few nice words and asked if I wanted to do the same. I said no, I just wanted to be done with it. I thought to myself, I’m probably going to have to revisit this issue again someday, but for right now, taking this step was good enough.
All the emotion finally hit me
It was only after I got home about an hour later that all the emotions hit me. I called my friend whose mother had lost a baby as well. She completely understood my emotions and listened to me cry my eyes out.
I dried my eyes, threw some water on my face and went to get my boys from school. That is the life of a mother after all; you just sometimes need to get on with it, regardless of what it is you are feeling.
The wind’s effect
The wind had grown stronger by this point. I’ve always thought the wind aggravated me. It just does something to me that I can’t explain. I get irritable and cranky.
It’s only after I read my friends blog about her feeling the same way about the wind that I realized, I wasn’t alone in all this.
According to another friend’s explanation, “Strong west winds produce positive ions, which if you look it up are irritating. (Versus negative ions that are found by waterfalls - pleasant and peaceful.) Some cultures have even forgiven certain lawbreaking activities during these winds."
I had to think about that statement later. Maybe that was the cause of the extreme anger and irritability I was feeling later that day.
Another friend commented that maybe the wind will carry the spirit of those who have died to heaven quicker. I thought about that as well. Maybe the wind that day was an indication of Isabella’s spirit finally leaving completely and going back to heaven where it belongs.
Is it a coincidence I ended up with a really bad cold on Tuesday morning? I don’t think so. There was definitely some purging to do and here it is.
Yet among it all, plenty to celebrate
There was definitely a lot to celebrate this week though. My son’s birthday was on Tuesday. My big boy just turned eight. He is such a great kid.
Him and his brother truly bring joy to my heart like I never thought possible. He wanted his dad’s excellent chicken tacos for dinner and of course, I had to get some fabulous desserts to top that evening off.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Looking forward to a smoother road ahead!
Mary
Monday, March 21, 2011
Morning Peace
Happy Spring everyone! I love this time of year. We just planted what can be planted in our garden, the weather is beautiful on a daily basis and we’re starting to see more of our neighbors who have been hibernating for the winter.
One hour of peace
I started this trend about a month ago waking up a good hour before anyone else does in the house. I got the idea from a class I attended at our Waldorf School. The teacher was talking about allowing yourself that time in the morning to wake up in peace prior to having to make breakfast, pack lunches, get kids ready for school and get them out the door to go to school.
I have to say that this past month has been the most peaceful month I’ve had in a while. I get out of bed leisurely, I make myself a cup of tea and a little breakfast, I write a blog post, check my email or just sit there and meditate totally unhurried. It also allows me the opportunity to check my calendar and plan for my day accordingly.
I have been on the simplify kick lately. A simple solution to the chaos of the morning is to allow myself more time in the morning. As a result of that, I go to bed earlier in the evening and that has resulted in a great night of sleep almost every night. My husband has been going to bed earlier as well and that has allowed him the opportunity to work out in the morning. A work out for him is essential but he could never find the time for it.
Opportunity to look for the Morning Star
As a kid, my dad used to wake me up right before sunrise so that we could look at the Morning Star together. The Morning Star is the planet Venus. At times, when it’s a clear morning, I can look out the window and see the Morning Star shining brightly in sky. Every time I see it, I send a little love towards my dad and tell him I miss him. That has also been a wonderful experience to have in the morning.
Balance, peace and tasty breakfasts!
I feel this hour in the morning has brought such peace and balance to our household. Everyone is a little happier in the morning without that sense of urgency and rush.
Not to mention, breakfast has been a lot more elaborate due to the extra time too! On the menu this morning: omelets, turkey bacon, strawberries and cantaloupe. YUM!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving the opportunity to hear the birds chirping this morning as I was about to publish this post!
Mary
One hour of peace
I started this trend about a month ago waking up a good hour before anyone else does in the house. I got the idea from a class I attended at our Waldorf School. The teacher was talking about allowing yourself that time in the morning to wake up in peace prior to having to make breakfast, pack lunches, get kids ready for school and get them out the door to go to school.
I have to say that this past month has been the most peaceful month I’ve had in a while. I get out of bed leisurely, I make myself a cup of tea and a little breakfast, I write a blog post, check my email or just sit there and meditate totally unhurried. It also allows me the opportunity to check my calendar and plan for my day accordingly.
I have been on the simplify kick lately. A simple solution to the chaos of the morning is to allow myself more time in the morning. As a result of that, I go to bed earlier in the evening and that has resulted in a great night of sleep almost every night. My husband has been going to bed earlier as well and that has allowed him the opportunity to work out in the morning. A work out for him is essential but he could never find the time for it.
Opportunity to look for the Morning Star
As a kid, my dad used to wake me up right before sunrise so that we could look at the Morning Star together. The Morning Star is the planet Venus. At times, when it’s a clear morning, I can look out the window and see the Morning Star shining brightly in sky. Every time I see it, I send a little love towards my dad and tell him I miss him. That has also been a wonderful experience to have in the morning.
Balance, peace and tasty breakfasts!
I feel this hour in the morning has brought such peace and balance to our household. Everyone is a little happier in the morning without that sense of urgency and rush.
Not to mention, breakfast has been a lot more elaborate due to the extra time too! On the menu this morning: omelets, turkey bacon, strawberries and cantaloupe. YUM!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving the opportunity to hear the birds chirping this morning as I was about to publish this post!
Mary
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The inter-connectedness of us all
I’ve been thinking a lot about Japan lately. My heart goes out to all the people who have been affected by the disasters happening.
I was reading the news the other day quoting one politician saying that we need to halt all development of nuclear plants in the United States until we see the outcome of what happens in Japan. Two sentences later, another politician was quoted saying that we shouldn’t base domestic policy on something that happened in Japan.
Us and them?
I started thinking about the idea of us and them. I thought about how there is no us and them. Anything that happens anywhere in the world affects us one way or another; it could be as simple as the fish we eat or the stock market that we have our money in or as big as knowing someone who has been affected by the disaster.
I watched a video this morning on CNN about a Japanese student studying English in California. She comes from the town that was hit by the tsunami. She has been scouring the internet for days hoping to find out that her family has survived.
Finally, a friend calls to tell her that they saw a you-tube video of her sister holding up a sign saying that they have all survived. The sign was meant for this young woman living in California. Think of all the American friends this young woman has and how they have been living her nightmare with her. Think of her host family and the anxiety they have been feeling for her.
You may watch the video by clicking on the following link:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/15/california.student.japan/index.html?hpt=C1#
We are all connected. We are all affected by everything that goes on anywhere.
The Seventh Generation inspiration
I love the quote, “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations” from the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy. This is the inspiration for Seventh Generation products; I actually read it on one of their cleaning bottles for the first time.
The choices we make today affect our children and their children for generations to come. Therefore, we need to be very thoughtful in what we choose to hand over to them.
I heard one older Egyptian woman saying that it was her generation’s fault that her kids are having to revolt and demand their freedom. She went on to say that it was her generation’s responsibility to ensure a democracy, but they didn’t.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Paying closer attention to the choices I'm making!
Mary
I was reading the news the other day quoting one politician saying that we need to halt all development of nuclear plants in the United States until we see the outcome of what happens in Japan. Two sentences later, another politician was quoted saying that we shouldn’t base domestic policy on something that happened in Japan.
Us and them?
I started thinking about the idea of us and them. I thought about how there is no us and them. Anything that happens anywhere in the world affects us one way or another; it could be as simple as the fish we eat or the stock market that we have our money in or as big as knowing someone who has been affected by the disaster.
I watched a video this morning on CNN about a Japanese student studying English in California. She comes from the town that was hit by the tsunami. She has been scouring the internet for days hoping to find out that her family has survived.
Finally, a friend calls to tell her that they saw a you-tube video of her sister holding up a sign saying that they have all survived. The sign was meant for this young woman living in California. Think of all the American friends this young woman has and how they have been living her nightmare with her. Think of her host family and the anxiety they have been feeling for her.
You may watch the video by clicking on the following link:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/15/california.student.japan/index.html?hpt=C1#
We are all connected. We are all affected by everything that goes on anywhere.
The Seventh Generation inspiration
I love the quote, “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations” from the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy. This is the inspiration for Seventh Generation products; I actually read it on one of their cleaning bottles for the first time.
The choices we make today affect our children and their children for generations to come. Therefore, we need to be very thoughtful in what we choose to hand over to them.
I heard one older Egyptian woman saying that it was her generation’s fault that her kids are having to revolt and demand their freedom. She went on to say that it was her generation’s responsibility to ensure a democracy, but they didn’t.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Paying closer attention to the choices I'm making!
Mary
Monday, March 14, 2011
Get rid of it!
I’ve been feeling the energy of the clutter on the sides of our house and in the garage the entire winter now. I can’t tell you why, but all that stuff that’s just sitting there collecting mud from the snow has been getting to me.
It’s not something I can throw out myself. My husband told me to make a list and we would tackle it this weekend. It’s like the “gods of less clutter” were on my side yesterday. My friend called to see if the boys could come over for a play date. Magically, we had a few hours open up in the afternoon to minimize.
De-cluttering … ahh what a feeling!
We started with the tool sheds that were holding so much stuff that either wasn’t working or broken. We pulled out a huge trash can and just started tossing stuff away. All the extra space in the sheds now was able to hold the items that were needed but were sitting out.
Next we moved into the garage where the bikes just sat there in the middle of the way. My husband bought hooks to mount the bikes onto the wall. My mountain bike that has now been replaced by my “happy” bike (my cruiser) needed to be moved out of the way. The trailer that we have for "the day we are going to pack our picnic" also got mounted out of the way.
The Halloween items that were just sitting there finally got put up. The goodwill items got dropped off. The empty boxes got recycled. Helmets, gloves, bats, balls and the list goes on, all got put away where they belong.
Such relief when all that stuff is gone
The energy of all that clutter being in my way every which way I turned was really getting to me. It’s like I felt suffocated every time I went through our garage. I walked into it this morning feeling such relief. That light, energetic feeling you get after a major purge is so awesome.
Consume it first
I decided a few months ago when I did a huge purge inside the house that I wasn’t going to get rid of stuff just to replace it right away. It’s made such a huge difference in our house.
Normally, by now, I would have bought my kids a ton of new shorts, t-shirts, shoes and whatever else they wouldn’t really need for about three months. This year, I’m saying, we’ll wait to see what they really will need and then we’ll go out to get it.
That idea works for the refrigerator, the freezer, the pantry, clothes and toys and so on. Consuming what we have and then replacing, has made such a difference than the other way around.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I think my next project is round two of my closet!
Mary
It’s not something I can throw out myself. My husband told me to make a list and we would tackle it this weekend. It’s like the “gods of less clutter” were on my side yesterday. My friend called to see if the boys could come over for a play date. Magically, we had a few hours open up in the afternoon to minimize.
De-cluttering … ahh what a feeling!
We started with the tool sheds that were holding so much stuff that either wasn’t working or broken. We pulled out a huge trash can and just started tossing stuff away. All the extra space in the sheds now was able to hold the items that were needed but were sitting out.
Next we moved into the garage where the bikes just sat there in the middle of the way. My husband bought hooks to mount the bikes onto the wall. My mountain bike that has now been replaced by my “happy” bike (my cruiser) needed to be moved out of the way. The trailer that we have for "the day we are going to pack our picnic" also got mounted out of the way.
The Halloween items that were just sitting there finally got put up. The goodwill items got dropped off. The empty boxes got recycled. Helmets, gloves, bats, balls and the list goes on, all got put away where they belong.
Such relief when all that stuff is gone
The energy of all that clutter being in my way every which way I turned was really getting to me. It’s like I felt suffocated every time I went through our garage. I walked into it this morning feeling such relief. That light, energetic feeling you get after a major purge is so awesome.
Consume it first
I decided a few months ago when I did a huge purge inside the house that I wasn’t going to get rid of stuff just to replace it right away. It’s made such a huge difference in our house.
Normally, by now, I would have bought my kids a ton of new shorts, t-shirts, shoes and whatever else they wouldn’t really need for about three months. This year, I’m saying, we’ll wait to see what they really will need and then we’ll go out to get it.
That idea works for the refrigerator, the freezer, the pantry, clothes and toys and so on. Consuming what we have and then replacing, has made such a difference than the other way around.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I think my next project is round two of my closet!
Mary
Friday, March 11, 2011
It turned out for the best!
I am the ultimate recycler. My passion is the environment and I will recycle even the smallest scrap of paper in hopes of that helping in the big scheme of things. I have two recycling bins that get filled to the rim every other week.
My recycling bin disappeared
A couple of weeks ago, one of the bins grew legs and walked off. I was so upset by that. I called the city thinking that the recycling guys took one of my bins. The lady on the phone assured me that it wasn’t the city that took my bin back. She said that this happens a lot. People just take recycling bins. It seems nuts to me, they are free to get after all.
Anyway, I put in my order to get another bin and was informed it would take about six weeks. I had a plan for all my extra recyclables though; I was going to take them to Walmart’s bin. I do that a lot around the holidays or when we have huge boxes and such.
Wasted aggravation
It turned out that I didn’t need to do any of that. My new bin showed up two weeks later and it was double the size of the old bin. It actually turned out to be better for me! With the size of the new bin, I never have to take my extra recyclables anywhere. I had to think about the wasted aggravation I spent on this.
There’s an expression in Arabic that I will butcher with the translation, that says, “Don’t hate anything evil or bad, just in case it turns out for your best.” My mother says that to me every time I am in a situation that I feel is not the best. It seems like things do ultimately turn out for the best.
I am going to think of this recycling bin every time something bothers me. I will always say, “Maybe it’s for the best.”
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving my super huge recycling bin!
Mary
My recycling bin disappeared
A couple of weeks ago, one of the bins grew legs and walked off. I was so upset by that. I called the city thinking that the recycling guys took one of my bins. The lady on the phone assured me that it wasn’t the city that took my bin back. She said that this happens a lot. People just take recycling bins. It seems nuts to me, they are free to get after all.
Anyway, I put in my order to get another bin and was informed it would take about six weeks. I had a plan for all my extra recyclables though; I was going to take them to Walmart’s bin. I do that a lot around the holidays or when we have huge boxes and such.
Wasted aggravation
It turned out that I didn’t need to do any of that. My new bin showed up two weeks later and it was double the size of the old bin. It actually turned out to be better for me! With the size of the new bin, I never have to take my extra recyclables anywhere. I had to think about the wasted aggravation I spent on this.
There’s an expression in Arabic that I will butcher with the translation, that says, “Don’t hate anything evil or bad, just in case it turns out for your best.” My mother says that to me every time I am in a situation that I feel is not the best. It seems like things do ultimately turn out for the best.
I am going to think of this recycling bin every time something bothers me. I will always say, “Maybe it’s for the best.”
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving my super huge recycling bin!
Mary
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's your breakfast - don't apologize for it
I went out to breakfast with a few of my friends the other morning. One of my friends was trying to custom order her breakfast all the while apologizing to the waiter. His response, which I thought was brilliant, was, “It’s your breakfast, don’t apologize for it.” I looked at my other friend and told her that was going to be my next blog post.
Isn’t that awesome? You waited in line to get into this place, you are paying for your meal, therefore the least you can expect to have is your breakfast the exact way you’d like it to be. In the big scheme of life, does it really matter if I substitute goat cheese for the feta that was supposed to come with my omelet?
What else are we compromising?
I started thinking about how many other compromises we may make on account of trying to go with the flow or not be so difficult. I heard someone say the other day, “Even if you live 100 years, that’s still not a whole lot of time.” It may feel like an eternity if you’re living life compromising and never doing what you want. It will feel like a blink of an eye when you are in the driver’s seat of your life.
I’m not going to make this post too huge because I think I’ve pretty much made my point. I have become more of a minimalist lately anyway, believing that less is more. That may have to be my next post!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I love goat cheese on my omelet!
Mary
Isn’t that awesome? You waited in line to get into this place, you are paying for your meal, therefore the least you can expect to have is your breakfast the exact way you’d like it to be. In the big scheme of life, does it really matter if I substitute goat cheese for the feta that was supposed to come with my omelet?
What else are we compromising?
I started thinking about how many other compromises we may make on account of trying to go with the flow or not be so difficult. I heard someone say the other day, “Even if you live 100 years, that’s still not a whole lot of time.” It may feel like an eternity if you’re living life compromising and never doing what you want. It will feel like a blink of an eye when you are in the driver’s seat of your life.
I’m not going to make this post too huge because I think I’ve pretty much made my point. I have become more of a minimalist lately anyway, believing that less is more. That may have to be my next post!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I love goat cheese on my omelet!
Mary
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)