I teach a 7-month program called Spiritual U. I take my students through a journey of self-discovery. We have had to take a few breaks during the class due to my bed rest stint and subsequently the loss of the pregnancy. We resumed the classes yesterday. It was awesome to be back in the saddle again. My students wanted to know how I was doing and feeling. I was honest in saying “I have good moments and bad moments or more like good days and bad days”.
While processing the events of the past few weeks the concept of free will came up. They all know how much work I did with the law of attraction and positive thinking to try to get this baby through. The question was “do we have any free will or any power to change the outcome of something or is it pre-determined and going to happen regardless of what we do or think?” My answer to that would be “I honestly don’t know”. I’d like to believe that we have the ability to change the course of our lives and better the outcome of any situation we are in. I do feel though that we all signed up for certain life experiences which will help our soul evolution. Maybe at the time we are going through the experience it seems like it’s out of our hands but I do believe on some level we always had control over it even if that control happened prior to our incarnation. The thought that came to my mind the other day was that the life experiences we asked for are going to happen and they will be tough to go through but that is ultimately going to lead to the most soul evolution as well. Anything and everything that happens to you will allow you to evolve but it is usually through the trials that the greatest growth occurs. I honestly would not want to deny myself that opportunity. This has not been an easy experience for me but it has offered me an opportunity to look at things differently. I always tell my students “life will happen to you but it’s a choice as to what you’re going to do with it”. Life is meant to be up, down and everything in between. No one will live their whole life with one emotion. Life is emotion which is what makes it so incredible. Would I have rather not had this experience and had a baby instead? Of course, I would have!
A couple of weeks before losing the baby I started to get the feeling that this was going to be the outcome. I thought to myself that if that were to happen I would lose my faith and was terrified of that concept. After all, my spirituality is what brings me the most peace. The funny thing is that it really hasn’t made me lose faith at all. I can’t deny the presence of my spirit guides and the comfort they provide. I can’t deny the presence of God in everything. All I feel is sadness that this happened. I feel like I wish I could fast-forward to the time where it doesn’t hurt as much that’s all.
I was talking to my husband tonight about doing some volunteer work which has always been my passion. I volunteered all throughout college. I devoted time to a children’s hospital, a battered women’s shelter and to the Red Cross. I loved every minute of the time that I gave these organizations. I feel that it’s time to go back to that right now. Maybe that’s another one of Isabella’s blessings; helping me to go back to some of the things that brought me great joy at one point in time. I mentioned in the post before that Isabella has brought great blessings into my life so far and maybe there's tons more to discover. I definitely look forward to that.
I would love to hear your thoughts on all this! Let me know what you’re thinking either by posting a comment below or sending me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.