I graduated from college on May 11, 1996. One of my friends gave me a book called The Celestine Prophecy. I still remember the moment she handed it to me; the sun was somewhat setting, the light shown through the clouds and while she was giving it to me she said, “I’ve heard this book has changed people’s lives.”
I knew that moment was a huge one for me. I really didn’t know why it was huge, but I knew it was.
No coincidences
I started reading it that same night. I can’t tell you that I remember that I remember what the book was about right now, but I do remember one part very vividly. The author was talking about the fact that there was no such thing as coincidences and that there was a message in everything.
He said that anytime two strangers lock eyes, then that is a sign that they must meet. He gives the example of being in a restaurant and locking eyes with someone who is sitting at a different table, you need to get up and introduce yourself. I have found that to be impossible to do, let alone pretty unacceptable in our society.
What I have gained from it though is that idea of “no chance encounters.” I belong to an enhanced book club of sorts. We may get together for an evening of painting, or to chit chat about metaphysical experiences we’ve had, or listen to a guest speaker and so on.
Last night, we had a guest speaker come in to talk to us about meditation and her spiritual journey. I had this incredible feeling that I had to go to this meeting. At one point during the evening, I thought to myself that I knew pretty much everything she was lecturing about and I practice it.
I meditate a few times a day; I meditate every chance I get. I turn the music and my cell phone off in the car all the time and take the few minutes I have to calm and center. I meditate while folding laundry. I meditate while waiting at a doctor’s office. I meditate before I have a meeting. I truly meditate all the time and the benefits are tremendous.
I wondered why the feeling of being there was so incredible. Earlier that day, while shopping at Vitamin Cottage, I ran into a friend of mine who had led a book club a while back. We started talking and I told her that she would love the meeting I was going to tonight and that she should come. She actually did come and it was fantastic to have her join our group. I thought to myself that maybe that was the reason for it, yet I felt that something was still missing.
My guided encounter
After the lecture was over, a few of us started chit-chatting about various topics. I was telling someone about the committee that I am a part of at the Waldorf School. We are putting together what we’re calling a student conduct code. Our school lacks any resources for both the parents of the bully and their target.
I expressed that the research I’m doing in this area has been tremendous in helping me understand why children bully and how to identify their targets. Kim John Payne’s work in this topic is amazing. I was saying that it’s funny how I started this group and then I’m faced with a situation that I could have used some help, but I didn’t know where to go.
One of the ladies standing there shared with me her story of how her son was a target for years and how eventually, everything settled for him by virtue of him remaining strong in the face of what was going on. Her words were comforting to me. I thought to myself that situations usually have a way of working themselves out.
The other person happened to be a member of the board at our school and took a great interest in what I was saying. I ended up talking to her for the rest of the evening about the issues we were facing.
I left there realizing why I had the urge to attend this meeting. Had I called her to talk about these ideas, I may have not presented them as well as I did in a more casual social setting. The thoughts were presented and received very well, because we were both in the right frame of mind for that conversation.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I believe in the phrase, “there are no coincidences only meaningful encounters.” I’d love to hear about your meaningful encounters. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Pretty amazed by the encounter I had!
Mary
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
It's a first for me
I had an epiphany this morning. I had decided to slow down doing readings and teaching classes for a while to see how I would feel. After my experience last year of almost losing my life, the thought of maybe not being around for my kids totally freaked me out.
I decided that I wanted to be more available to do things with them. Since my business was mostly part-time, I thought of eliminating the classes and readings to see how things would work out.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally love doing readings and teaching classes but it just didn’t feel like it was the right time. I didn’t realize that by doing that, I was giving motherhood a chance for the first time.
Making the decision to quit my job was difficult
It is so hard to be a working professional and then to become a full-time mom. I felt like I had lost a part of me the day I decided to quit my job to stay at home with my newborn son. I didn’t realize that it would be greatest gift anyone could give me.
On some level, I still fought the idea without even knowing it. I went to homeopathy school while I was pregnant with our second child. I attended spiritual classes while my boys were one and three for a total of three years. I started my business while my boys were two and four. I felt at the time that I had a balance of career and motherhood, but now realize that I really didn’t.
I was always struggling to find time to do things with my kids because I was always trying to catch up. You’ve heard the saying “there’s a time and a place for everything” and I wasn’t giving motherhood the time that it needed.
Giving motherhood a chance
I was talking to a friend of mine this morning when I told her that this was the first time I was giving motherhood a chance and it really feels great.
I have plenty of time to go on every field trip that my kids have, I volunteer in the classroom, I am part of a group working on a student conduct code for our school, I have time to grocery shop while my kids are in school, I cook about five times a week a fantastic dinner for them and all of this feels so good and so right.
I’m still very much needed at the moment
I will come back to readings and lecturing, but when my boys are a little older. I feel the older my boys get, the more time they need and not the other way around. They may be able to entertain themselves by playing without me now, but they absolutely need me to help them with their lives.
After a couple of weeks of volunteering a lot at their school, I asked my son if I could skip one of his events and his answer was, “Mom, that’s your job. It’s your job to go with me kite flying for Michaelmas.” I told him that he was right and I was going to be there.
I was doing laundry yesterday and thought to myself that I really ought to find a day other than Sunday to do laundry. My mom never does anything other than have fun on Sunday. She feels that it is a day of rest that is necessary for everyone. I thought to myself, how many American families devote a whole day to be a family day and a rest day? I would guess that not one family does that.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Getting ready to bake pumpkin bread for my boys! Oh, the wonderful smell of pumpkin bread in the oven, snow outside, fireplace on, life is definitely good!
Mary
I decided that I wanted to be more available to do things with them. Since my business was mostly part-time, I thought of eliminating the classes and readings to see how things would work out.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally love doing readings and teaching classes but it just didn’t feel like it was the right time. I didn’t realize that by doing that, I was giving motherhood a chance for the first time.
Making the decision to quit my job was difficult
It is so hard to be a working professional and then to become a full-time mom. I felt like I had lost a part of me the day I decided to quit my job to stay at home with my newborn son. I didn’t realize that it would be greatest gift anyone could give me.
On some level, I still fought the idea without even knowing it. I went to homeopathy school while I was pregnant with our second child. I attended spiritual classes while my boys were one and three for a total of three years. I started my business while my boys were two and four. I felt at the time that I had a balance of career and motherhood, but now realize that I really didn’t.
I was always struggling to find time to do things with my kids because I was always trying to catch up. You’ve heard the saying “there’s a time and a place for everything” and I wasn’t giving motherhood the time that it needed.
Giving motherhood a chance
I was talking to a friend of mine this morning when I told her that this was the first time I was giving motherhood a chance and it really feels great.
I have plenty of time to go on every field trip that my kids have, I volunteer in the classroom, I am part of a group working on a student conduct code for our school, I have time to grocery shop while my kids are in school, I cook about five times a week a fantastic dinner for them and all of this feels so good and so right.
I’m still very much needed at the moment
I will come back to readings and lecturing, but when my boys are a little older. I feel the older my boys get, the more time they need and not the other way around. They may be able to entertain themselves by playing without me now, but they absolutely need me to help them with their lives.
After a couple of weeks of volunteering a lot at their school, I asked my son if I could skip one of his events and his answer was, “Mom, that’s your job. It’s your job to go with me kite flying for Michaelmas.” I told him that he was right and I was going to be there.
I was doing laundry yesterday and thought to myself that I really ought to find a day other than Sunday to do laundry. My mom never does anything other than have fun on Sunday. She feels that it is a day of rest that is necessary for everyone. I thought to myself, how many American families devote a whole day to be a family day and a rest day? I would guess that not one family does that.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Getting ready to bake pumpkin bread for my boys! Oh, the wonderful smell of pumpkin bread in the oven, snow outside, fireplace on, life is definitely good!
Mary
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Theosophy by Rudolf Steiner
Waldorf schools are based on the philosophy of a man named Rudolf Steiner. My kids go to the Denver Waldorf School. I figured it was time to read works that were written by the man whose philosophy our school was founded upon.
I’ve tried to read some of his books before, but I found them to be too difficult. It’s almost as if I had to read the same sentence twice and the paragraph more than that to even get the gist out of it.
Reincarnation and Karma
I decided to read a book named Theosophy by Rudolf Steiner, a book that is considered an introduction to his philosophy. Some of the concepts in Theosophy, I have read before such as those of reincarnation and karma. Steiner explains them in a slightly different way that has made a lot of sense to me.
I read my first book on reincarnation about 15 years ago. It was definitely something that I didn’t accept or deny at the time, as I do most things. I never judge a book by its cover. It was an interesting concept for sure and definitely something that made sense to me. I used to always wonder how we could possibly accomplish all that we’d like to in the span of 60, 70 or 80 years, if we were lucky enough to live that long.
“Yesterday’s actions are now the conditions I must abide by in what I do today; through what I did yesterday, I have created my destiny for today” from Theosophy. I love that sentence! Every person owns their life and all the events in it. “Through what I did yesterday, I have created my destiny for today.” I’ve thought about that a lot since I read it. Yesterday’s actions could be 250 years old; they are still yesterday’s actions.
He says, “Sleep has often been called ‘the younger brother of death.’” Death seems final, but is it really? Maybe we could look at it as “sleeping in” instead of never waking up again.
Past live regressions
I’ve attended a couple of Dr. Brian Weiss’ workshops on past lives. I’ve seen a few of my past lives that have explained a lot of what I was feeling at the time. I’ve often wondered if they were really lives that I lived or were they scenes I saw to help me move forward with my current issue. I don’t really think it even matters.
I remember a past life regression where I saw my youngest son being swept away from me in a tsunami. I had always had an incredible fear of losing him prior to that regression. It was fascinating to me that since then my fears have totally subsided. We do carry with us impressions from past experiences into the cells of our being.
Remember my last post, just the fact that it was Wednesday, made my senses heightened. What does a rose or the song “Brick House” signify to you? Think about when you were eight, how did you feel? Things, events, periods of our life, they all leave an imprint in our being somewhere.
Great reads on the subject of past lives and reincarnation are Many Lives, Many Masters and Same Soul, Many Bodies by Dr. Brian Weiss. They are absolutely fascinating. I also enjoyed Past Lives, Future Healing by Sylvia Browne.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Enjoying the concepts in Theosophy!
Mary
I’ve tried to read some of his books before, but I found them to be too difficult. It’s almost as if I had to read the same sentence twice and the paragraph more than that to even get the gist out of it.
Reincarnation and Karma
I decided to read a book named Theosophy by Rudolf Steiner, a book that is considered an introduction to his philosophy. Some of the concepts in Theosophy, I have read before such as those of reincarnation and karma. Steiner explains them in a slightly different way that has made a lot of sense to me.
I read my first book on reincarnation about 15 years ago. It was definitely something that I didn’t accept or deny at the time, as I do most things. I never judge a book by its cover. It was an interesting concept for sure and definitely something that made sense to me. I used to always wonder how we could possibly accomplish all that we’d like to in the span of 60, 70 or 80 years, if we were lucky enough to live that long.
“Yesterday’s actions are now the conditions I must abide by in what I do today; through what I did yesterday, I have created my destiny for today” from Theosophy. I love that sentence! Every person owns their life and all the events in it. “Through what I did yesterday, I have created my destiny for today.” I’ve thought about that a lot since I read it. Yesterday’s actions could be 250 years old; they are still yesterday’s actions.
He says, “Sleep has often been called ‘the younger brother of death.’” Death seems final, but is it really? Maybe we could look at it as “sleeping in” instead of never waking up again.
Past live regressions
I’ve attended a couple of Dr. Brian Weiss’ workshops on past lives. I’ve seen a few of my past lives that have explained a lot of what I was feeling at the time. I’ve often wondered if they were really lives that I lived or were they scenes I saw to help me move forward with my current issue. I don’t really think it even matters.
I remember a past life regression where I saw my youngest son being swept away from me in a tsunami. I had always had an incredible fear of losing him prior to that regression. It was fascinating to me that since then my fears have totally subsided. We do carry with us impressions from past experiences into the cells of our being.
Remember my last post, just the fact that it was Wednesday, made my senses heightened. What does a rose or the song “Brick House” signify to you? Think about when you were eight, how did you feel? Things, events, periods of our life, they all leave an imprint in our being somewhere.
Great reads on the subject of past lives and reincarnation are Many Lives, Many Masters and Same Soul, Many Bodies by Dr. Brian Weiss. They are absolutely fascinating. I also enjoyed Past Lives, Future Healing by Sylvia Browne.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Enjoying the concepts in Theosophy!
Mary
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Pavlov's dog
Have I mentioned that I love Tuesdays! They are the day that my cleaning lady comes and pretty much the only day that the house is guaranteed to be clean for a few hours before the kids come home from school.
She used to come on Wednesdays, therefore Tuesdays used to be the worst day for me. I would be a total nut; cleaning for my cleaning lady. Tuesday night in specific, I’d make my husband go on a cleaning frenzy with me. We’d have to pick up toys, put laundry away, clean the kitchen, pick up the main level and the list went on before going to bed.
Then I would get up extra early on Wednesday morning to make the beds and completely make the house spotless before Rosa showed up at 9 am. How exhausting!
Cleaning day is switched?!
I didn’t realize how much of a nut I had become until Rosa blindsides me one day to say that she can no longer come on Wednesdays. I had a moment of panic, but she quickly saved me to say that she could come on Tuesdays.
The first week that she came on Tuesday, I hadn’t trained myself yet to switch my nuttiness to Monday night, so I didn’t get my usual cleaning frenzy going however, amazingly enough, she was able to clean just fine. That morning, in a very slow and non-panicked mode, I made beds and picked up toys or whatever without any stress.
I am an example of behavioral psychology
The panic did set in on Wednesday morning though. For no good reason, my heart started beating a little faster in anticipation of Rosa coming. I realized that I had become Pavlov’s dog. The thought of Rosa coming to clean immediately implied a state of panic. I had to remind myself that she had come the day before and all is well.
I actually went through it again the following week. Tuesday came and I hadn’t panicked. I was on to something. I could actually enjoy my cleaning lady coming without the panic of “the toys aren’t going to be picked up and the beds aren’t going to be made.”
She’s been coming on Tuesdays for a few months now and I have to report that I am still doing ok. I realized that I was a little more heightened than normal on Monday night, but I’m going to say that was because I was just a little more tired than normal. Yeah, that’s it. Do you believe me?
Your Pavlov stories
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
It's Wednesday morning and it's just so peaceful in the Salfi household!
Mary
She used to come on Wednesdays, therefore Tuesdays used to be the worst day for me. I would be a total nut; cleaning for my cleaning lady. Tuesday night in specific, I’d make my husband go on a cleaning frenzy with me. We’d have to pick up toys, put laundry away, clean the kitchen, pick up the main level and the list went on before going to bed.
Then I would get up extra early on Wednesday morning to make the beds and completely make the house spotless before Rosa showed up at 9 am. How exhausting!
Cleaning day is switched?!
I didn’t realize how much of a nut I had become until Rosa blindsides me one day to say that she can no longer come on Wednesdays. I had a moment of panic, but she quickly saved me to say that she could come on Tuesdays.
The first week that she came on Tuesday, I hadn’t trained myself yet to switch my nuttiness to Monday night, so I didn’t get my usual cleaning frenzy going however, amazingly enough, she was able to clean just fine. That morning, in a very slow and non-panicked mode, I made beds and picked up toys or whatever without any stress.
I am an example of behavioral psychology
The panic did set in on Wednesday morning though. For no good reason, my heart started beating a little faster in anticipation of Rosa coming. I realized that I had become Pavlov’s dog. The thought of Rosa coming to clean immediately implied a state of panic. I had to remind myself that she had come the day before and all is well.
I actually went through it again the following week. Tuesday came and I hadn’t panicked. I was on to something. I could actually enjoy my cleaning lady coming without the panic of “the toys aren’t going to be picked up and the beds aren’t going to be made.”
She’s been coming on Tuesdays for a few months now and I have to report that I am still doing ok. I realized that I was a little more heightened than normal on Monday night, but I’m going to say that was because I was just a little more tired than normal. Yeah, that’s it. Do you believe me?
Your Pavlov stories
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
It's Wednesday morning and it's just so peaceful in the Salfi household!
Mary
Monday, November 1, 2010
Boundaries
I have written about boundaries many times. I often refer to them when I am talking about contracts or soul lessons. I believe that we all come to earth to grow and therefore, take on different lessons or contracts.
I also believe that we have a bigger purpose or what I call a world contract. This world contract could be something that you do for a living or it could be something that you are passionate about. I am passionate about the environment for example. I donate, I recycle and so on.
A world contract doesn’t have to be a cause; it can be anything that you are absolutely passionate about. The criterion for it, I believe, is that it must benefit others.
Life lessons
Life lessons or soul contracts, on the other hand, are for your personal growth. Examples are: having joy, trust, giving, receiving, balance, relationships, and abandonment and so on.
One of my soul contracts is setting boundaries. I realized that about five years ago when I first learned about contracts. It was such an “aha moment” for me. I realized that I had been dealing with boundaries my whole life. People would ask the most ridiculous things of me and I never said no. I definitely would get frustrated with them, but it’s only when I realized that one of my lessons was boundaries that I actually appreciated them for helping me learn it.
Setting boundaries is as much about saying no as it is about respecting other people’s boundaries. Every lesson has its yin and yang or balance to it.
Boundaries … they never go away
I have gotten a lot better with boundaries but they have definitely not gone away. I realize now that they may come through my kids and their experiences as well.
Zack, my five-year-old, had an issue about a month ago with a little boy in his class. We had a huge discussion about it at school and I thought that it had been resolved. Last week, he comes home telling me that same little boy was inappropriate with him again. It has been on my mind since then.
I have brought it to everyone’s attention at school, but I realized that there was a piece missing for me. I believe that what’s been bothering me the most is the lack of respect this boy continuously displays towards Zack.
I always say that our kids have their own journey in life and we must respect that completely. I don’t believe that this is Zack’s journey as much as it is mine. It is my job as Zack’s mother to stand up for him and to say that this little boy cannot continuously disrupt his rhythm at school.
We cannot worry constantly as to what behavior will come out of this other boy. It was bothering me all last week until I realized that it was about setting boundaries as to what is and is definitely not acceptable.
Is it a big deal that he took candy out of the bowl?
Last night, I was handing out candy to some trick-or-treaters when a little boy reached into my candy bowl and took what he wanted. I didn’t say anything to him, but it really bothered me. I told my husband about it later and he said that I said the same thing last year. That is an example of a boundary as well.
Is it really a big deal that this kid reached into the candy bowl? At this point, I would say no, but I do believe he’ll grow up lacking respect for other people. You can see trends in people at every age, but especially when they are little.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Saying no to the behavior of a little boy that is totally unacceptable!
Mary
I also believe that we have a bigger purpose or what I call a world contract. This world contract could be something that you do for a living or it could be something that you are passionate about. I am passionate about the environment for example. I donate, I recycle and so on.
A world contract doesn’t have to be a cause; it can be anything that you are absolutely passionate about. The criterion for it, I believe, is that it must benefit others.
Life lessons
Life lessons or soul contracts, on the other hand, are for your personal growth. Examples are: having joy, trust, giving, receiving, balance, relationships, and abandonment and so on.
One of my soul contracts is setting boundaries. I realized that about five years ago when I first learned about contracts. It was such an “aha moment” for me. I realized that I had been dealing with boundaries my whole life. People would ask the most ridiculous things of me and I never said no. I definitely would get frustrated with them, but it’s only when I realized that one of my lessons was boundaries that I actually appreciated them for helping me learn it.
Setting boundaries is as much about saying no as it is about respecting other people’s boundaries. Every lesson has its yin and yang or balance to it.
Boundaries … they never go away
I have gotten a lot better with boundaries but they have definitely not gone away. I realize now that they may come through my kids and their experiences as well.
Zack, my five-year-old, had an issue about a month ago with a little boy in his class. We had a huge discussion about it at school and I thought that it had been resolved. Last week, he comes home telling me that same little boy was inappropriate with him again. It has been on my mind since then.
I have brought it to everyone’s attention at school, but I realized that there was a piece missing for me. I believe that what’s been bothering me the most is the lack of respect this boy continuously displays towards Zack.
I always say that our kids have their own journey in life and we must respect that completely. I don’t believe that this is Zack’s journey as much as it is mine. It is my job as Zack’s mother to stand up for him and to say that this little boy cannot continuously disrupt his rhythm at school.
We cannot worry constantly as to what behavior will come out of this other boy. It was bothering me all last week until I realized that it was about setting boundaries as to what is and is definitely not acceptable.
Is it a big deal that he took candy out of the bowl?
Last night, I was handing out candy to some trick-or-treaters when a little boy reached into my candy bowl and took what he wanted. I didn’t say anything to him, but it really bothered me. I told my husband about it later and he said that I said the same thing last year. That is an example of a boundary as well.
Is it really a big deal that this kid reached into the candy bowl? At this point, I would say no, but I do believe he’ll grow up lacking respect for other people. You can see trends in people at every age, but especially when they are little.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Saying no to the behavior of a little boy that is totally unacceptable!
Mary
Monday, October 25, 2010
The balance of giving and receiving
My birthday was this past Saturday. I got to sleep in without any interruptions from my two adorable, but very rambunctious boys. Had the day ended right then, it would have been enough. Those of you with kids, “Do you remember the last time you really got to sleep in?” It is fabulous!
Allowing myself to receive!
I was going down the stairs to eat breakfast when I saw my brand new bike with a huge bow on it right in the middle of the living room. I squealed with joy! It was exactly what I wanted. I was tired of riding my mountain bike around town, I wanted a cruiser and I got one that was incredibly cute!
My husband made an incredibly delicious breakfast (have I mentioned that he is a fantastic cook) and then we went out for a bike ride with the kids. We cruised all around the neighborhood. We went to two of my girlfriends’ houses to say hi and show them my new wheels. It was so fun just to cruise around and spend a relaxed morning. We ended up taking the kids out to dinner and for dessert, we had a great cake that my husband had ordered from my favorite bakery.
Love from my friends
We belong to dinner club in the neighborhood. It is a fantastic group of people and we look forward to this awesome evening. It just so happened that the dinner club this month fell on my birthday. I opted to go out with my kids and mom instead of going to the dinner club.
Our friends called us on our way home from dinner and asked us to stop by for a drink. It turns out that one of my friends had baked me a delicious chocolate cake with caramel filling. They sang happy birthday, we had a piece of cake, great wine and awesome company.
Allowing myself to receive
It was truly an incredible day for me. I felt loved and appreciated all around. Ever since Saturday, I have been thinking about the concept of receiving. I allowed myself to receive that day and it was fantastic. People love to make others feel good and do nice things for them. The key is to allow people that opportunity.
I used to be horrible at receiving. If someone gave me a compliment, I’d squirm, gifts were not received well and so on. I’ve learned to allow that to go away and just enjoy it. What goes around comes around. I’ll have my chance to return the favor, but in the meantime, why not enjoy it.
The opportunity to give came today
It’s my mom’s birthday today so I spent the whole day giving. We had a wonderful day together where I got to spoil my mother and let her know how much I loved and appreciated her. It was great to give today. The balance of giving and receiving is much healthier than it’s ever been with me.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Enjoying the birthday gifts and wishes I have received!
Mary
Allowing myself to receive!
I was going down the stairs to eat breakfast when I saw my brand new bike with a huge bow on it right in the middle of the living room. I squealed with joy! It was exactly what I wanted. I was tired of riding my mountain bike around town, I wanted a cruiser and I got one that was incredibly cute!
My husband made an incredibly delicious breakfast (have I mentioned that he is a fantastic cook) and then we went out for a bike ride with the kids. We cruised all around the neighborhood. We went to two of my girlfriends’ houses to say hi and show them my new wheels. It was so fun just to cruise around and spend a relaxed morning. We ended up taking the kids out to dinner and for dessert, we had a great cake that my husband had ordered from my favorite bakery.
Love from my friends
We belong to dinner club in the neighborhood. It is a fantastic group of people and we look forward to this awesome evening. It just so happened that the dinner club this month fell on my birthday. I opted to go out with my kids and mom instead of going to the dinner club.
Our friends called us on our way home from dinner and asked us to stop by for a drink. It turns out that one of my friends had baked me a delicious chocolate cake with caramel filling. They sang happy birthday, we had a piece of cake, great wine and awesome company.
Allowing myself to receive
It was truly an incredible day for me. I felt loved and appreciated all around. Ever since Saturday, I have been thinking about the concept of receiving. I allowed myself to receive that day and it was fantastic. People love to make others feel good and do nice things for them. The key is to allow people that opportunity.
I used to be horrible at receiving. If someone gave me a compliment, I’d squirm, gifts were not received well and so on. I’ve learned to allow that to go away and just enjoy it. What goes around comes around. I’ll have my chance to return the favor, but in the meantime, why not enjoy it.
The opportunity to give came today
It’s my mom’s birthday today so I spent the whole day giving. We had a wonderful day together where I got to spoil my mother and let her know how much I loved and appreciated her. It was great to give today. The balance of giving and receiving is much healthier than it’s ever been with me.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Enjoying the birthday gifts and wishes I have received!
Mary
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Simplicity
I went to see Kim John Payne speak at The Shining Mountain Waldorf School in Boulder last night. It was the first time I had heard him speak and it was a fantastic experience. The topic last night was about simplicity parenting. It was centered on creating a safe-haven for kids to grow up in where they weren’t inundated with hundreds of toys, tons of books, loads of clothes, too many extra-curricular activities and so on. It was really about allowing kids to have the room to imagine and create.
I had been purging for a couple of weeks
On Monday night, my husband and I had taken out three garden size trash bags full of toys to go to Goodwill. At one point, we looked at each other to say that we were embarrassed to have these many toys and we still have a whole closet full!
My friend came to visit a few weeks ago and I was shocked that the guest closet was full of stuff. I can’t even tell you what was in there. The day after she left, I went in there and got rid of everything that we didn’t use anymore. I did the same for another closet that was just storage space. I actually started to go into those rooms just to look at the closets because they made me feel so good.
I told my husband the other night that the house is slowly but surely getting lighter. I would walk into certain parts of our house and feel suffocated. I’ve purged the basement mostly, the garage and now I’m going to tackle my closet and my boys’ closets.
Realizing when we need to stop
I thought about what Payne was saying as to how it also ought to apply to adults. It’s amazing how instinctively we know what’s best for everyone around us but not ourselves. If my husband is coming down with something, I know it’s because he’s been working too hard and his body needs a break.
How come I can’t see that for myself? I feel it’s partly due to what we have come to accept as social norm. It is perfectly acceptable for someone to go to work from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night, go workout, go grocery shopping, go meet friends for drinks, come home watch a little TV, go to bed right before midnight and get up the next morning to repeat the whole process over again.
Why did we ever eliminate the siesta anyway? I have to say, if you do have the ability to take a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day, it may be the best thing you can do for yourself.
Simplify to allow your genius to shine through!
Kim John Payne said, “Simplify to allow your child’s genius to come through.” I immediately thought about my pantry and freezer, both of which feel like they are going to explode from being overstuffed. I realized that I haven’t had the desire to cook anything in about a month. My cooking genius was stifled with too many choices!
He also talked about the fact that we give kids way too many choices that they don’t want to be bothered with. Here’s a typical conversation I might have with my kids at 7:15 in the morning, “Would you like ham or eggs for breakfast? Should I can make you French toast? or waffles? How about a bowl of cereal? Why won’t you answer me?” and I proceed to get frustrated. Whereas the day I make something for breakfast without asking my kids, they eat it without complaint and the house is peaceful.
I can’t say that I heard anything new last night. It was just great to be reminded. I have to say that I purge my closet and the house every few months now. I used to purge once a year if that and now once it gets to be a little chaotic, I know it’s time for a spring cleaning. I always remember not to overload my children with activities. I don’t allow play-dates during the week, I let them play only one sport and never say yes to video games or TV. I just don’t feel it’s healthy for their soul. I have given in to football though. I have to maintain the peace with the biggest JETS fan in the world; he is my husband after all.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Even more excited to purge now!
Mary
I had been purging for a couple of weeks
On Monday night, my husband and I had taken out three garden size trash bags full of toys to go to Goodwill. At one point, we looked at each other to say that we were embarrassed to have these many toys and we still have a whole closet full!
My friend came to visit a few weeks ago and I was shocked that the guest closet was full of stuff. I can’t even tell you what was in there. The day after she left, I went in there and got rid of everything that we didn’t use anymore. I did the same for another closet that was just storage space. I actually started to go into those rooms just to look at the closets because they made me feel so good.
I told my husband the other night that the house is slowly but surely getting lighter. I would walk into certain parts of our house and feel suffocated. I’ve purged the basement mostly, the garage and now I’m going to tackle my closet and my boys’ closets.
Realizing when we need to stop
I thought about what Payne was saying as to how it also ought to apply to adults. It’s amazing how instinctively we know what’s best for everyone around us but not ourselves. If my husband is coming down with something, I know it’s because he’s been working too hard and his body needs a break.
How come I can’t see that for myself? I feel it’s partly due to what we have come to accept as social norm. It is perfectly acceptable for someone to go to work from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night, go workout, go grocery shopping, go meet friends for drinks, come home watch a little TV, go to bed right before midnight and get up the next morning to repeat the whole process over again.
Why did we ever eliminate the siesta anyway? I have to say, if you do have the ability to take a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day, it may be the best thing you can do for yourself.
Simplify to allow your genius to shine through!
Kim John Payne said, “Simplify to allow your child’s genius to come through.” I immediately thought about my pantry and freezer, both of which feel like they are going to explode from being overstuffed. I realized that I haven’t had the desire to cook anything in about a month. My cooking genius was stifled with too many choices!
He also talked about the fact that we give kids way too many choices that they don’t want to be bothered with. Here’s a typical conversation I might have with my kids at 7:15 in the morning, “Would you like ham or eggs for breakfast? Should I can make you French toast? or waffles? How about a bowl of cereal? Why won’t you answer me?” and I proceed to get frustrated. Whereas the day I make something for breakfast without asking my kids, they eat it without complaint and the house is peaceful.
I can’t say that I heard anything new last night. It was just great to be reminded. I have to say that I purge my closet and the house every few months now. I used to purge once a year if that and now once it gets to be a little chaotic, I know it’s time for a spring cleaning. I always remember not to overload my children with activities. I don’t allow play-dates during the week, I let them play only one sport and never say yes to video games or TV. I just don’t feel it’s healthy for their soul. I have given in to football though. I have to maintain the peace with the biggest JETS fan in the world; he is my husband after all.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Even more excited to purge now!
Mary
Monday, October 18, 2010
Fate
I've been thinking about fate a lot lately. I’m wondering if our lives are somewhat mapped out before we come to Earth? Do we have a game plan prior to incarnating? When something doesn’t go our way, we usually hear the phrase, “It just wasn’t meant to be” or “It just wasn’t in the cards.”
Can we change our fate?
Maybe this is where the Law of Attraction comes into play. Maybe at one point, something wasn’t meant to be, but if we believe it enough, then we do change the outcome. It would be hard to think that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. Are all the philosophers and spiritual teachers who have preached the Law of Attraction wrong? I believe if nothing else, the Law of Attraction helps us stay positive.
We also talk about “contracts” or “life lessons” that we’ve come to Earth to master. Examples of contracts are, setting boundaries, having joy, practicing patience, trusting, relationships, abandonment and so on. Let’s say our heart’s desire is to get married and have kids, but what if remaining single allows us greater spiritual growth? Do contracts and the Law of Attraction contradict each other at that point? Do contracts come before the Law of Attraction?
Law of Attraction versus contracts
It’s interesting to debate both sides of the story. The thing that makes the most sense to me is remaining positive and asking God, Spirit, The Universe (whatever resonates with you as a higher power) for what you want. I believe though that if it doesn’t go your way, then maybe that was for your best anyway.
This is life at the end of the day, people are going to die, tragedies are going to happen, earth quakes are going to hit and so on. Maybe the whole point is to lighten up some and just enjoy every day for what it is. If it’s a day that something sad happened, then be sad and if it’s a day to be happy, then be happy.
Is it meant to be?
I was at the Jets-Broncos game yesterday. The half-time show was dedicated to breast cancer survivors. They had truly wonderful stories of women who overcame such a tough event in their lives. One woman said that she is thankful for cancer because it has changed her for the better. Another survived breast cancer but now is battling terminal liver cancer. I wondered about her and fate. Can she change the outcome of what seems to be her destiny? It can be done, that I do know. I do pray that in her case, "It is meant to be that she is cancer free!"
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
In thought about this!
Mary
Can we change our fate?
Maybe this is where the Law of Attraction comes into play. Maybe at one point, something wasn’t meant to be, but if we believe it enough, then we do change the outcome. It would be hard to think that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. Are all the philosophers and spiritual teachers who have preached the Law of Attraction wrong? I believe if nothing else, the Law of Attraction helps us stay positive.
We also talk about “contracts” or “life lessons” that we’ve come to Earth to master. Examples of contracts are, setting boundaries, having joy, practicing patience, trusting, relationships, abandonment and so on. Let’s say our heart’s desire is to get married and have kids, but what if remaining single allows us greater spiritual growth? Do contracts and the Law of Attraction contradict each other at that point? Do contracts come before the Law of Attraction?
Law of Attraction versus contracts
It’s interesting to debate both sides of the story. The thing that makes the most sense to me is remaining positive and asking God, Spirit, The Universe (whatever resonates with you as a higher power) for what you want. I believe though that if it doesn’t go your way, then maybe that was for your best anyway.
This is life at the end of the day, people are going to die, tragedies are going to happen, earth quakes are going to hit and so on. Maybe the whole point is to lighten up some and just enjoy every day for what it is. If it’s a day that something sad happened, then be sad and if it’s a day to be happy, then be happy.
Is it meant to be?
I was at the Jets-Broncos game yesterday. The half-time show was dedicated to breast cancer survivors. They had truly wonderful stories of women who overcame such a tough event in their lives. One woman said that she is thankful for cancer because it has changed her for the better. Another survived breast cancer but now is battling terminal liver cancer. I wondered about her and fate. Can she change the outcome of what seems to be her destiny? It can be done, that I do know. I do pray that in her case, "It is meant to be that she is cancer free!"
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
In thought about this!
Mary
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Your brand
I’ve been thinking about being authentic lately. I’m reading a book called, “If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You” by Kelly Cutrone. It’s a really interesting read. I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorite books, but I have found certain parts of it to be thought-provoking.
I’m at a part of the book where she talks about “your brand” and what it is you’d like that to be. I like to think of that as the question I ask my clients all the time, “Who are you?” She describes someone’s brand as pertaining to business and how they’d like to be viewed, but I’m taking it one step further to say, “What’s your brand in life?” If you’re authentic to your core values, then that brand carries with you in every aspect of your life.
Honesty … in everything!
I believe that honesty is the best policy and especially with yourself. If you can admit to yourself who you are and what it is you’d like to achieve in life, then it becomes easy to carry that torch into the world. Most of the time, the issue is that we don’t know what it is we really want and therefore, have a hard time “branding” ourselves.
Is there such a thing as too much support?
This author mentions in the book that she feels kids come into the business world with too much confidence due to their parents sheltering them and making them feel like they can accomplish anything. She feels that kids then get into the real world and are shocked. I totally disagree with that. I believe that was her reality and not necessarily the general rule. Support is necessary in life. If you feel supported, I think you’re more apt to accomplish.
I tell my kids that they can accomplish anything they’d like but most importantly they ought to love what they are doing. If you are doing something you love, then branding yourself is easy. It’s only a struggle when you’re struggling yourself. The easiest way to figure out what it is we really want is to spend some time in silence contemplating. Anytime you feel the downward spiral heading your way, take a break and meditate. You’re not doing anyone any favors by not figuring out what it is you’d like to accomplish in life.
Who do you want to be?
I find such inspiration from movies such as The Blind Side. I thought that was an amazing movie. I love the part where Michael Oher’s mother tells him that he can do with his life what he wants. She says to him, “It’s your decision, it’s your life” but she also says that she will support his decisions whatever they may be. That is support!
Support is allowing others to be what they really want to be without judgment. Now, do that for yourself as well. Really allow yourself to be the brand that you’d like to be.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Have I mentioned I love writing this blog!
Mary
I’m at a part of the book where she talks about “your brand” and what it is you’d like that to be. I like to think of that as the question I ask my clients all the time, “Who are you?” She describes someone’s brand as pertaining to business and how they’d like to be viewed, but I’m taking it one step further to say, “What’s your brand in life?” If you’re authentic to your core values, then that brand carries with you in every aspect of your life.
Honesty … in everything!
I believe that honesty is the best policy and especially with yourself. If you can admit to yourself who you are and what it is you’d like to achieve in life, then it becomes easy to carry that torch into the world. Most of the time, the issue is that we don’t know what it is we really want and therefore, have a hard time “branding” ourselves.
Is there such a thing as too much support?
This author mentions in the book that she feels kids come into the business world with too much confidence due to their parents sheltering them and making them feel like they can accomplish anything. She feels that kids then get into the real world and are shocked. I totally disagree with that. I believe that was her reality and not necessarily the general rule. Support is necessary in life. If you feel supported, I think you’re more apt to accomplish.
I tell my kids that they can accomplish anything they’d like but most importantly they ought to love what they are doing. If you are doing something you love, then branding yourself is easy. It’s only a struggle when you’re struggling yourself. The easiest way to figure out what it is we really want is to spend some time in silence contemplating. Anytime you feel the downward spiral heading your way, take a break and meditate. You’re not doing anyone any favors by not figuring out what it is you’d like to accomplish in life.
Who do you want to be?
I find such inspiration from movies such as The Blind Side. I thought that was an amazing movie. I love the part where Michael Oher’s mother tells him that he can do with his life what he wants. She says to him, “It’s your decision, it’s your life” but she also says that she will support his decisions whatever they may be. That is support!
Support is allowing others to be what they really want to be without judgment. Now, do that for yourself as well. Really allow yourself to be the brand that you’d like to be.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Have I mentioned I love writing this blog!
Mary
Monday, October 4, 2010
It was nice to see that ...
The other day, I observed an older gentleman holding the door open for his wife and her friend while they got in their car. First, he held the back door open until the friend got in and then he moved to his wife’s side and held her door open. I’m sure this man has opened the door for his wife every day of their lives together.
I grew up in Lebanon and men always opened the door for the ladies and never called shotgun. When I moved here at the age of 19, I remember not understanding what that was. I was naturally going to ride in the front seat as I was accustomed to. I also was shocked that none of the guys around would offer to carry something heavy.
My feminist phase
After living here for a certain amount of time, I didn’t expect it anymore and then I went to the other end of the spectrum where I did not want to be treated that way.
I totally take the blame for my husband not opening the door for me in our household. I went through a phase of being a feminist to a certain degree. He would open the door for me all the time and although it made me feel special, I remember rebelling somewhat against it. If he offered to carry a heavy for me, I’d get offended. It became my job to clean the garage because I could do it and it wasn’t only a man’s job.
I’ve softened my stance tremendously
It’s a total bummer for me that I went through that ridiculous phase, not to mention how confused I keep my husband. One year, he can’t open the door, the next he’s totally expected to. Who can keep up?
After seeing that older man treat his wife with such kindness and respect, I’ve realized that I crave that too. My husband is the ultimate romantic and I’ve always said that it was wasted on me, but not anymore! I feel it’s especially essential for him to treat me this way in front of our boys. Only if they see their dad treating their mom that way will they understand how to treat their wife later on.
My husband reads all my posts and I’m sure he’s rolling his eyes after this one, but I’m also sure that he will gladly start opening my door again. I feel that’s something that is part of his being and would gladly bring it back.
Your thoughts ... I'd love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Waiting for my hubby to get home so that he can lift the heavy boxes in our garage!
Mary
I grew up in Lebanon and men always opened the door for the ladies and never called shotgun. When I moved here at the age of 19, I remember not understanding what that was. I was naturally going to ride in the front seat as I was accustomed to. I also was shocked that none of the guys around would offer to carry something heavy.
My feminist phase
After living here for a certain amount of time, I didn’t expect it anymore and then I went to the other end of the spectrum where I did not want to be treated that way.
I totally take the blame for my husband not opening the door for me in our household. I went through a phase of being a feminist to a certain degree. He would open the door for me all the time and although it made me feel special, I remember rebelling somewhat against it. If he offered to carry a heavy for me, I’d get offended. It became my job to clean the garage because I could do it and it wasn’t only a man’s job.
I’ve softened my stance tremendously
It’s a total bummer for me that I went through that ridiculous phase, not to mention how confused I keep my husband. One year, he can’t open the door, the next he’s totally expected to. Who can keep up?
After seeing that older man treat his wife with such kindness and respect, I’ve realized that I crave that too. My husband is the ultimate romantic and I’ve always said that it was wasted on me, but not anymore! I feel it’s especially essential for him to treat me this way in front of our boys. Only if they see their dad treating their mom that way will they understand how to treat their wife later on.
My husband reads all my posts and I’m sure he’s rolling his eyes after this one, but I’m also sure that he will gladly start opening my door again. I feel that’s something that is part of his being and would gladly bring it back.
Your thoughts ... I'd love to hear them
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Waiting for my hubby to get home so that he can lift the heavy boxes in our garage!
Mary
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