Sunday, November 28, 2010

Human resilience

I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I wrote my last post. This blog gets inspired by things that I have been thinking about. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law and her family. I wasn’t really contemplating anything much other than how to cook a 20-pound turkey. That was something that my husband and I had never done before! I have to say that it was delicious and the whole meal was a great success.

We find a way to take it to the next level

Last night, my husband and I were watching the movie “Eat, Pray, Love.” At one point, Julia Roberts, who was playing Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie, was talking about how from ruins things get built. I have been thinking about that phrase a lot since I heard it.

I thought about the fact that so many of us when faced with hard situations and really feel like our lives are in ruins, actually truly find ourselves. From the depths of grief, we find a way to rise and step it up a notch. So many people talk about a severe illness or experience being the best thing that happened to them, because it gave them a different perspective on life.

I, for one, feel that my life has been very different since losing the baby last summer. It seems like things just don’t affect me much anymore. I go with the flow a lot more and allow myself to enjoy the moment I find myself in. I also refuse the experiences that bring me anxiety or generally don’t make me happy.

My experience fast-forwarded me to a happier place

I often wonder if I would be as decisive about life had I not had my experience of losing a baby at 20 weeks last year. I think that I would have eventually gotten there, but I do think that this experience eliminated at least 10 years of the process.

I often say that the experience is bigger than the actual gain, but that’s because I’m only a little over a year removed from it. As time goes on and I continue to live peacefully and happily, I find that I appreciate it more. I don’t wish to repeat any part of this experience or any other hard one for a long time, because at this point my roller coaster ride is going up! I often say life is up, down and everything in between. When it’s going up, enjoy it, because that too will change someday.

Giving thanks!

It’s been a fabulous Thanksgiving week. I truly enjoyed having family in town. That was such a treat for us to get to see our nephews, niece, my sister-in-law and her husband. We shared tons of great family moments and it was truly awesome!

I love this season! It’s a season of appreciating what you have and what’s coming. We are looking forward to having my father-in-law in town for Christmas. He’s truly a great guy and it’s always wonderful getting to see him.

Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of

Time for some hot chocolate, Christmas music and hanging ornaments!


  1. I saw that movie this weekend as well and it has been on my mind too. I absolutely loved this book, as someone who is appreciative of contemplation, inner life, learning, and adventure. I have been amazed at how strong the reaction against this movie/book was, saying that it is so self-absorbed. I think I better understood that position this weekend, but still loved the story. It is a gift to find your joy, your interests, and your resilience.

  2. Tracy,
    I loved the book too. I didn't think it was self-absorbed at all. I actually thought it was very brave of her to share how she truly felt and what she went through. It was a relief to many who were going through the same life-circumstance.

  3. Mary - Loss is often very hard for some people to accept. They want so desperately for things to be the same, but do not realize that in that loss, a significant part of their being has been pulled away. They will never be the same. I know when my wife died, I was at a loss for a long time. All the counselling and support groups didn't do much to fill that void. It wasn't until I started studying with Deb that I learned that life is an evolution and that the only truth is change. Once I understood there was going to be a new me, and that the path to get there was going to be an e-ticket ride, that void began to fill. Had I not met Deb, I do not know where I would be. And I think it is this same circumstance that puts you in the place that you are now. We were blessed with the right people coming into our lives, at the right time, to give us the tools to shape our own destiny. Namaste.