Friday, March 18, 2016

Just wait a minute

I've been thinking about the concept of time lately. My daughter will be five in August. Five!! I can't believe how fast time is going by. The other day I was thinking about the time period I had all those miscarriages. Within two years, I had three miscarriages. The last miscarriage I had was about two years before my daughter was born.

Was it really a big deal? 

A really good friend of mine had her daughter the year I had my last miscarriage. My daughter and hers play together all the time now. The two year difference between them is truly a non-issue. They play beautifully together, making up all sorts of princess games then go out to the trampoline then color and so on.

I started to think about my patience or I should say lack of. The two years that I was so in my head about are only a blip on continuum of time. If you were to really get woowoo about it, there is no continuum of time, there's only now. If there's only now then nothing is more important or more of a big deal then what you have going on at this moment. So how about taking a deep breath and dealing with now instead of constantly worrying or stressing about that future event.

I've always asked myself the question of, "Will that matter in six months?" to take away the possibility of making a mole hill into a mountain. I'm not belittling the experience of having a miscarriage or three for that matter, but if I had known at the time that all will be OK and that in less than two years, I'd be holding a beautiful baby in my arms, maybe I would have dealt with things differently.

Faith .. it's everything!

A really good friend of mine would like to quit her job so that she can be with her kids more. We've been talking about her doing that for over two years now. It's a struggle for sure. Yesterday I told her that maybe what she ought to do is just quit and have faith that all will be OK. Have faith that the difference in income will be met easily and that the time she gets to spend with her kids won't come at a price.

I'm really good at giving the advice you see :) I truly believe that the reason I had three miscarriages was because I lacked patience and faith. I didn't give myself a chance to heal whether it be physically or emotionally.

I was so caught up in having that perfect age difference between my kids that I didn't think of anything else. Now I look at my three children and I think the age difference is perfect. It was always going to be perfect regardless of when she was born. I didn't trust that all will be well. I was going to push through and force the pregnancy dammit!

All is well

It truly all changed when I took a step back and allowed myself time to heal. I took some time to enjoy the kids I had, to travel with them, to get my body back, to heal my emotions. I knew when the time was right to try again and only then was it a success.

I love the quote, "If you only say one prayer a day then let it be thank you". How awesome is that. Be in gratitude for all that is when it shows up. Have faith and trust in that higher power. It's always taking care of you, maybe better than you would take care of yourself.

I'd love to hear from you! Let me know how you deal with patience and time. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

No comments:

Post a Comment