Happy Spring everyone! I love this time of year. We just planted what can be planted in our garden, the weather is beautiful on a daily basis and we’re starting to see more of our neighbors who have been hibernating for the winter.
One hour of peace
I started this trend about a month ago waking up a good hour before anyone else does in the house. I got the idea from a class I attended at our Waldorf School. The teacher was talking about allowing yourself that time in the morning to wake up in peace prior to having to make breakfast, pack lunches, get kids ready for school and get them out the door to go to school.
I have to say that this past month has been the most peaceful month I’ve had in a while. I get out of bed leisurely, I make myself a cup of tea and a little breakfast, I write a blog post, check my email or just sit there and meditate totally unhurried. It also allows me the opportunity to check my calendar and plan for my day accordingly.
I have been on the simplify kick lately. A simple solution to the chaos of the morning is to allow myself more time in the morning. As a result of that, I go to bed earlier in the evening and that has resulted in a great night of sleep almost every night. My husband has been going to bed earlier as well and that has allowed him the opportunity to work out in the morning. A work out for him is essential but he could never find the time for it.
Opportunity to look for the Morning Star
As a kid, my dad used to wake me up right before sunrise so that we could look at the Morning Star together. The Morning Star is the planet Venus. At times, when it’s a clear morning, I can look out the window and see the Morning Star shining brightly in sky. Every time I see it, I send a little love towards my dad and tell him I miss him. That has also been a wonderful experience to have in the morning.
Balance, peace and tasty breakfasts!
I feel this hour in the morning has brought such peace and balance to our household. Everyone is a little happier in the morning without that sense of urgency and rush.
Not to mention, breakfast has been a lot more elaborate due to the extra time too! On the menu this morning: omelets, turkey bacon, strawberries and cantaloupe. YUM!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving the opportunity to hear the birds chirping this morning as I was about to publish this post!
Mary
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The inter-connectedness of us all
I’ve been thinking a lot about Japan lately. My heart goes out to all the people who have been affected by the disasters happening.
I was reading the news the other day quoting one politician saying that we need to halt all development of nuclear plants in the United States until we see the outcome of what happens in Japan. Two sentences later, another politician was quoted saying that we shouldn’t base domestic policy on something that happened in Japan.
Us and them?
I started thinking about the idea of us and them. I thought about how there is no us and them. Anything that happens anywhere in the world affects us one way or another; it could be as simple as the fish we eat or the stock market that we have our money in or as big as knowing someone who has been affected by the disaster.
I watched a video this morning on CNN about a Japanese student studying English in California. She comes from the town that was hit by the tsunami. She has been scouring the internet for days hoping to find out that her family has survived.
Finally, a friend calls to tell her that they saw a you-tube video of her sister holding up a sign saying that they have all survived. The sign was meant for this young woman living in California. Think of all the American friends this young woman has and how they have been living her nightmare with her. Think of her host family and the anxiety they have been feeling for her.
You may watch the video by clicking on the following link:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/15/california.student.japan/index.html?hpt=C1#
We are all connected. We are all affected by everything that goes on anywhere.
The Seventh Generation inspiration
I love the quote, “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations” from the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy. This is the inspiration for Seventh Generation products; I actually read it on one of their cleaning bottles for the first time.
The choices we make today affect our children and their children for generations to come. Therefore, we need to be very thoughtful in what we choose to hand over to them.
I heard one older Egyptian woman saying that it was her generation’s fault that her kids are having to revolt and demand their freedom. She went on to say that it was her generation’s responsibility to ensure a democracy, but they didn’t.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Paying closer attention to the choices I'm making!
Mary
I was reading the news the other day quoting one politician saying that we need to halt all development of nuclear plants in the United States until we see the outcome of what happens in Japan. Two sentences later, another politician was quoted saying that we shouldn’t base domestic policy on something that happened in Japan.
Us and them?
I started thinking about the idea of us and them. I thought about how there is no us and them. Anything that happens anywhere in the world affects us one way or another; it could be as simple as the fish we eat or the stock market that we have our money in or as big as knowing someone who has been affected by the disaster.
I watched a video this morning on CNN about a Japanese student studying English in California. She comes from the town that was hit by the tsunami. She has been scouring the internet for days hoping to find out that her family has survived.
Finally, a friend calls to tell her that they saw a you-tube video of her sister holding up a sign saying that they have all survived. The sign was meant for this young woman living in California. Think of all the American friends this young woman has and how they have been living her nightmare with her. Think of her host family and the anxiety they have been feeling for her.
You may watch the video by clicking on the following link:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/15/california.student.japan/index.html?hpt=C1#
We are all connected. We are all affected by everything that goes on anywhere.
The Seventh Generation inspiration
I love the quote, “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations” from the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy. This is the inspiration for Seventh Generation products; I actually read it on one of their cleaning bottles for the first time.
The choices we make today affect our children and their children for generations to come. Therefore, we need to be very thoughtful in what we choose to hand over to them.
I heard one older Egyptian woman saying that it was her generation’s fault that her kids are having to revolt and demand their freedom. She went on to say that it was her generation’s responsibility to ensure a democracy, but they didn’t.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Paying closer attention to the choices I'm making!
Mary
Monday, March 14, 2011
Get rid of it!
I’ve been feeling the energy of the clutter on the sides of our house and in the garage the entire winter now. I can’t tell you why, but all that stuff that’s just sitting there collecting mud from the snow has been getting to me.
It’s not something I can throw out myself. My husband told me to make a list and we would tackle it this weekend. It’s like the “gods of less clutter” were on my side yesterday. My friend called to see if the boys could come over for a play date. Magically, we had a few hours open up in the afternoon to minimize.
De-cluttering … ahh what a feeling!
We started with the tool sheds that were holding so much stuff that either wasn’t working or broken. We pulled out a huge trash can and just started tossing stuff away. All the extra space in the sheds now was able to hold the items that were needed but were sitting out.
Next we moved into the garage where the bikes just sat there in the middle of the way. My husband bought hooks to mount the bikes onto the wall. My mountain bike that has now been replaced by my “happy” bike (my cruiser) needed to be moved out of the way. The trailer that we have for "the day we are going to pack our picnic" also got mounted out of the way.
The Halloween items that were just sitting there finally got put up. The goodwill items got dropped off. The empty boxes got recycled. Helmets, gloves, bats, balls and the list goes on, all got put away where they belong.
Such relief when all that stuff is gone
The energy of all that clutter being in my way every which way I turned was really getting to me. It’s like I felt suffocated every time I went through our garage. I walked into it this morning feeling such relief. That light, energetic feeling you get after a major purge is so awesome.
Consume it first
I decided a few months ago when I did a huge purge inside the house that I wasn’t going to get rid of stuff just to replace it right away. It’s made such a huge difference in our house.
Normally, by now, I would have bought my kids a ton of new shorts, t-shirts, shoes and whatever else they wouldn’t really need for about three months. This year, I’m saying, we’ll wait to see what they really will need and then we’ll go out to get it.
That idea works for the refrigerator, the freezer, the pantry, clothes and toys and so on. Consuming what we have and then replacing, has made such a difference than the other way around.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I think my next project is round two of my closet!
Mary
It’s not something I can throw out myself. My husband told me to make a list and we would tackle it this weekend. It’s like the “gods of less clutter” were on my side yesterday. My friend called to see if the boys could come over for a play date. Magically, we had a few hours open up in the afternoon to minimize.
De-cluttering … ahh what a feeling!
We started with the tool sheds that were holding so much stuff that either wasn’t working or broken. We pulled out a huge trash can and just started tossing stuff away. All the extra space in the sheds now was able to hold the items that were needed but were sitting out.
Next we moved into the garage where the bikes just sat there in the middle of the way. My husband bought hooks to mount the bikes onto the wall. My mountain bike that has now been replaced by my “happy” bike (my cruiser) needed to be moved out of the way. The trailer that we have for "the day we are going to pack our picnic" also got mounted out of the way.
The Halloween items that were just sitting there finally got put up. The goodwill items got dropped off. The empty boxes got recycled. Helmets, gloves, bats, balls and the list goes on, all got put away where they belong.
Such relief when all that stuff is gone
The energy of all that clutter being in my way every which way I turned was really getting to me. It’s like I felt suffocated every time I went through our garage. I walked into it this morning feeling such relief. That light, energetic feeling you get after a major purge is so awesome.
Consume it first
I decided a few months ago when I did a huge purge inside the house that I wasn’t going to get rid of stuff just to replace it right away. It’s made such a huge difference in our house.
Normally, by now, I would have bought my kids a ton of new shorts, t-shirts, shoes and whatever else they wouldn’t really need for about three months. This year, I’m saying, we’ll wait to see what they really will need and then we’ll go out to get it.
That idea works for the refrigerator, the freezer, the pantry, clothes and toys and so on. Consuming what we have and then replacing, has made such a difference than the other way around.
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I think my next project is round two of my closet!
Mary
Friday, March 11, 2011
It turned out for the best!
I am the ultimate recycler. My passion is the environment and I will recycle even the smallest scrap of paper in hopes of that helping in the big scheme of things. I have two recycling bins that get filled to the rim every other week.
My recycling bin disappeared
A couple of weeks ago, one of the bins grew legs and walked off. I was so upset by that. I called the city thinking that the recycling guys took one of my bins. The lady on the phone assured me that it wasn’t the city that took my bin back. She said that this happens a lot. People just take recycling bins. It seems nuts to me, they are free to get after all.
Anyway, I put in my order to get another bin and was informed it would take about six weeks. I had a plan for all my extra recyclables though; I was going to take them to Walmart’s bin. I do that a lot around the holidays or when we have huge boxes and such.
Wasted aggravation
It turned out that I didn’t need to do any of that. My new bin showed up two weeks later and it was double the size of the old bin. It actually turned out to be better for me! With the size of the new bin, I never have to take my extra recyclables anywhere. I had to think about the wasted aggravation I spent on this.
There’s an expression in Arabic that I will butcher with the translation, that says, “Don’t hate anything evil or bad, just in case it turns out for your best.” My mother says that to me every time I am in a situation that I feel is not the best. It seems like things do ultimately turn out for the best.
I am going to think of this recycling bin every time something bothers me. I will always say, “Maybe it’s for the best.”
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving my super huge recycling bin!
Mary
My recycling bin disappeared
A couple of weeks ago, one of the bins grew legs and walked off. I was so upset by that. I called the city thinking that the recycling guys took one of my bins. The lady on the phone assured me that it wasn’t the city that took my bin back. She said that this happens a lot. People just take recycling bins. It seems nuts to me, they are free to get after all.
Anyway, I put in my order to get another bin and was informed it would take about six weeks. I had a plan for all my extra recyclables though; I was going to take them to Walmart’s bin. I do that a lot around the holidays or when we have huge boxes and such.
Wasted aggravation
It turned out that I didn’t need to do any of that. My new bin showed up two weeks later and it was double the size of the old bin. It actually turned out to be better for me! With the size of the new bin, I never have to take my extra recyclables anywhere. I had to think about the wasted aggravation I spent on this.
There’s an expression in Arabic that I will butcher with the translation, that says, “Don’t hate anything evil or bad, just in case it turns out for your best.” My mother says that to me every time I am in a situation that I feel is not the best. It seems like things do ultimately turn out for the best.
I am going to think of this recycling bin every time something bothers me. I will always say, “Maybe it’s for the best.”
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Loving my super huge recycling bin!
Mary
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's your breakfast - don't apologize for it
I went out to breakfast with a few of my friends the other morning. One of my friends was trying to custom order her breakfast all the while apologizing to the waiter. His response, which I thought was brilliant, was, “It’s your breakfast, don’t apologize for it.” I looked at my other friend and told her that was going to be my next blog post.
Isn’t that awesome? You waited in line to get into this place, you are paying for your meal, therefore the least you can expect to have is your breakfast the exact way you’d like it to be. In the big scheme of life, does it really matter if I substitute goat cheese for the feta that was supposed to come with my omelet?
What else are we compromising?
I started thinking about how many other compromises we may make on account of trying to go with the flow or not be so difficult. I heard someone say the other day, “Even if you live 100 years, that’s still not a whole lot of time.” It may feel like an eternity if you’re living life compromising and never doing what you want. It will feel like a blink of an eye when you are in the driver’s seat of your life.
I’m not going to make this post too huge because I think I’ve pretty much made my point. I have become more of a minimalist lately anyway, believing that less is more. That may have to be my next post!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I love goat cheese on my omelet!
Mary
Isn’t that awesome? You waited in line to get into this place, you are paying for your meal, therefore the least you can expect to have is your breakfast the exact way you’d like it to be. In the big scheme of life, does it really matter if I substitute goat cheese for the feta that was supposed to come with my omelet?
What else are we compromising?
I started thinking about how many other compromises we may make on account of trying to go with the flow or not be so difficult. I heard someone say the other day, “Even if you live 100 years, that’s still not a whole lot of time.” It may feel like an eternity if you’re living life compromising and never doing what you want. It will feel like a blink of an eye when you are in the driver’s seat of your life.
I’m not going to make this post too huge because I think I’ve pretty much made my point. I have become more of a minimalist lately anyway, believing that less is more. That may have to be my next post!
Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I love goat cheese on my omelet!
Mary
Friday, February 25, 2011
I watched a Wife-swap TV show and learned something!
I was at the dentist’s office the other day when I watched an episode of “wife swap.” It was really interesting. I may have seen one other episode my whole life.
One of the women is a high powered executive and Harvard graduate. She has four kids and works full-time. The other woman is a stay-at-home mom with six kids all of whom are home-schooled.
The women’s reactions the first week in the new household
The Harvard lady was overwhelmed by the amount of housework and chaos in the house. She felt like there were no boundaries and no guidelines by which the day progressed. She felt like the husband wasn’t very helpful and really relied heavily on his wife to do a lot of the housework.
The other woman was close to tears the morning she had to drop off the younger children in day care and go to work. She felt like that was so much out of her comfort zone that she really couldn’t cope. She felt that the house lacked fun and it was extremely regimented.
What they decided to change …
It was very interesting to hear the perspective of these women when placed in the other woman’s shoes. The Harvard woman ended up finding a day care center for the younger children so that she could home-school the other children in peace.
The other woman ended up taking all the kids out of school and decided that what they needed was to learn in a different setting. She took all four of them to a farm one day. She bought all sorts of musical instruments and taught them how to play. She bought chickens and told the dad that he needed to build a chicken coop.
The amazing thing was the both woman acknowledged how much they missed their spouses and kids. They both infused so much of their comfort into their temporary new life.
However, it was the husband’s reactions that were fascinating. The dad of the six children learned how to cook and do laundry. He realized that he needed to help around the house and truly pull his weight. The dad of the four children couldn’t deal with the home-schooling bit, but acknowledged that their household was a well-oiled machine however it lacked fun.
The epiphany from this swap
When the wives returned to their homes, they kept some of what the other woman had suggested. Their biggest “aha” moment was realizing how good they really have it and how much they missed their children and husbands.
I feel for them the true experience was in trying something new. It was going somewhere totally unfamiliar to them and taking on something they thought they knew how to do. They had to realize that every situation has it’s blessings in it if they were to allow themselves the gift of being open-minded to another way of doing things.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we all allowed ourselves the opportunity to learn something new? All we need to do is try doing it a different way.
Your thoughts?
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I’m going to be more open-minded from now on!
Mary
One of the women is a high powered executive and Harvard graduate. She has four kids and works full-time. The other woman is a stay-at-home mom with six kids all of whom are home-schooled.
The women’s reactions the first week in the new household
The Harvard lady was overwhelmed by the amount of housework and chaos in the house. She felt like there were no boundaries and no guidelines by which the day progressed. She felt like the husband wasn’t very helpful and really relied heavily on his wife to do a lot of the housework.
The other woman was close to tears the morning she had to drop off the younger children in day care and go to work. She felt like that was so much out of her comfort zone that she really couldn’t cope. She felt that the house lacked fun and it was extremely regimented.
What they decided to change …
It was very interesting to hear the perspective of these women when placed in the other woman’s shoes. The Harvard woman ended up finding a day care center for the younger children so that she could home-school the other children in peace.
The other woman ended up taking all the kids out of school and decided that what they needed was to learn in a different setting. She took all four of them to a farm one day. She bought all sorts of musical instruments and taught them how to play. She bought chickens and told the dad that he needed to build a chicken coop.
The amazing thing was the both woman acknowledged how much they missed their spouses and kids. They both infused so much of their comfort into their temporary new life.
However, it was the husband’s reactions that were fascinating. The dad of the six children learned how to cook and do laundry. He realized that he needed to help around the house and truly pull his weight. The dad of the four children couldn’t deal with the home-schooling bit, but acknowledged that their household was a well-oiled machine however it lacked fun.
The epiphany from this swap
When the wives returned to their homes, they kept some of what the other woman had suggested. Their biggest “aha” moment was realizing how good they really have it and how much they missed their children and husbands.
I feel for them the true experience was in trying something new. It was going somewhere totally unfamiliar to them and taking on something they thought they knew how to do. They had to realize that every situation has it’s blessings in it if they were to allow themselves the gift of being open-minded to another way of doing things.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we all allowed ourselves the opportunity to learn something new? All we need to do is try doing it a different way.
Your thoughts?
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
I’m going to be more open-minded from now on!
Mary
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Juliano - the greatest dog in the world
Our second pup made his way back to heaven today. Juliano or Jules as we affectionately called him was the best dog anyone could have ever hoped for. My husband got him a few months after we started dating. Our nights of going out and partying were replaced with taking Jules to the dog park. Something I wasn’t very happy about initially.
He was bred to be a show dog. I am certain that he was a king in a previous lifetime. He stood with such regality and nobleness that there was no doubt in anyone’s mind, he was of noble blood. Anyway, after a couple of months of him disrupting our singles lifestyle, we sent him back to his breeder for her to “show” him. That was actually part of the contract that my husband had with her.
I didn’t realize how much I grew to love him in that amount of time. I missed him so badly. We went to pick him up and he stood on his hind legs and hugged me. It was the most amazing sight ever. We all thought he was half human anyway in his ability to display emotion.
He loved being hugged. He would let out a very content sigh when he was close to us. He loved sleeping on our bed and loved squishing me into the fetal position. I slept like that for months on end. We never put a stop to that until our son was born. He was the ultimate protector. When I was pregnant he would stand between me and whoever I was talking to. He never let anyone get near me and actually bit the mailman when he tried to hand me a letter. What an awesome dog.
He loved playing catch. That was something that he could do for hours. He loved sitting in the sunshine and soaking up the heat. He absolutely loved eating salmon. That must have been his favorite food to eat. We living by a small lake for a while and he would find the fishiest smelling spot and roll around in it. He was the absolute best dog with kids. My friends would worry about their kids around him and my answer would always be that if you stuck your hand in his mouth he wouldn't do anything. He truly was the most gentle dog ever.
He was a sneak too. He once ate through a pair of snake skin red and black shoes that I had bought from New York. He ate through them and left them in the box. He loved getting the squeaky part out of toys and toss it to the side. He would chew through the toy like a surgeon. You would have to look hard to find out how he got it out. He once caught a mouse and kept it in his mouth alive until I screamed my head off and freaked him out.
I could go on and on about how much I love this dog and how much I’m going to miss him. I would probably fill pages and pages but it still wouldn’t be enough. No words can truly describe how I felt about him and how much I am going to miss him. He truly was the greatest dog anyone could have prayed for.
So, Jules, my puppy dog, I wish for you the ability to chase squirrels and catch mice again. I wish for you peace and happiness.
I love you,
Your human mommy
He was bred to be a show dog. I am certain that he was a king in a previous lifetime. He stood with such regality and nobleness that there was no doubt in anyone’s mind, he was of noble blood. Anyway, after a couple of months of him disrupting our singles lifestyle, we sent him back to his breeder for her to “show” him. That was actually part of the contract that my husband had with her.
I didn’t realize how much I grew to love him in that amount of time. I missed him so badly. We went to pick him up and he stood on his hind legs and hugged me. It was the most amazing sight ever. We all thought he was half human anyway in his ability to display emotion.
He loved being hugged. He would let out a very content sigh when he was close to us. He loved sleeping on our bed and loved squishing me into the fetal position. I slept like that for months on end. We never put a stop to that until our son was born. He was the ultimate protector. When I was pregnant he would stand between me and whoever I was talking to. He never let anyone get near me and actually bit the mailman when he tried to hand me a letter. What an awesome dog.
He loved playing catch. That was something that he could do for hours. He loved sitting in the sunshine and soaking up the heat. He absolutely loved eating salmon. That must have been his favorite food to eat. We living by a small lake for a while and he would find the fishiest smelling spot and roll around in it. He was the absolute best dog with kids. My friends would worry about their kids around him and my answer would always be that if you stuck your hand in his mouth he wouldn't do anything. He truly was the most gentle dog ever.
He was a sneak too. He once ate through a pair of snake skin red and black shoes that I had bought from New York. He ate through them and left them in the box. He loved getting the squeaky part out of toys and toss it to the side. He would chew through the toy like a surgeon. You would have to look hard to find out how he got it out. He once caught a mouse and kept it in his mouth alive until I screamed my head off and freaked him out.
I could go on and on about how much I love this dog and how much I’m going to miss him. I would probably fill pages and pages but it still wouldn’t be enough. No words can truly describe how I felt about him and how much I am going to miss him. He truly was the greatest dog anyone could have prayed for.
So, Jules, my puppy dog, I wish for you the ability to chase squirrels and catch mice again. I wish for you peace and happiness.
I love you,
Your human mommy
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Knowing when you've had enough
I think it’s huge when the day comes that you decide not to take it anymore. I have always had a problem with saying no and setting boundaries.
It has literally taken me years in certain situations to say, “Enough is enough!” After going through spiritual type classes and realizing that boundaries are one of my major lessons in this life, I’ve gotten better.
Boundaries will show up in all different forms. It could be your friend asking you to something that is outrageous, it could be your boss asking way to much of you at work, it could be your kids not respecting your space, it could be someone constantly interrupting you while you talk and so on, I’m sure you get the gist.
Recognize when something doesn’t feel right
It’s huge to recognize when your boundaries are being crossed and when it’s time to say no. It has everything to do with how you feel about something. Everything in life will boil down to that if you allow it to do so.
How does that make me feel? Do I really want to do that? Is that something that is in my best interest to do? All of these are essential questions to ask yourself whenever you’ve realized that you’re starting to get derailed.
It’s important to recognize that certain things can feel good for a while and then they don’t. As long as the relationship feels good, stay in it. Once it starts to make you feel bad, it’s time to evaluate.
The relationship I’m referring to could be anything. It’s your relationship with your job, with your friends, and even with the book you are reading.
Take action
I have stopped plenty of books a quarter of the way through, because I had gotten out of them what I needed and there was no need to continue on.
I’m not saying jump ship when things start heading south a little, but I am saying recognize when things are really not working for you and do something about them. All it takes sometimes is telling someone how you feel.
It’s so much easier to be authentic then to kid yourself into thinking that things are going well. That turns into internal anxiety that is not fun to go through.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Feeling better about my boundary setting!
Mary
It has literally taken me years in certain situations to say, “Enough is enough!” After going through spiritual type classes and realizing that boundaries are one of my major lessons in this life, I’ve gotten better.
Boundaries will show up in all different forms. It could be your friend asking you to something that is outrageous, it could be your boss asking way to much of you at work, it could be your kids not respecting your space, it could be someone constantly interrupting you while you talk and so on, I’m sure you get the gist.
Recognize when something doesn’t feel right
It’s huge to recognize when your boundaries are being crossed and when it’s time to say no. It has everything to do with how you feel about something. Everything in life will boil down to that if you allow it to do so.
How does that make me feel? Do I really want to do that? Is that something that is in my best interest to do? All of these are essential questions to ask yourself whenever you’ve realized that you’re starting to get derailed.
It’s important to recognize that certain things can feel good for a while and then they don’t. As long as the relationship feels good, stay in it. Once it starts to make you feel bad, it’s time to evaluate.
The relationship I’m referring to could be anything. It’s your relationship with your job, with your friends, and even with the book you are reading.
Take action
I have stopped plenty of books a quarter of the way through, because I had gotten out of them what I needed and there was no need to continue on.
I’m not saying jump ship when things start heading south a little, but I am saying recognize when things are really not working for you and do something about them. All it takes sometimes is telling someone how you feel.
It’s so much easier to be authentic then to kid yourself into thinking that things are going well. That turns into internal anxiety that is not fun to go through.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Feeling better about my boundary setting!
Mary
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Gossip - does it serve any purpose at all?
I was in a situation where there was gossip going on the other day. It was such that I couldn’t walk away, I felt so weird afterwards that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I have very little tolerance for gossip. I feel that it is the worst thing anyone can ever engage in.
Have you ever played the game telephone?
It’s where you sit in a circle with a bunch of people and the first person whispers something in the person’s ear, then that person relays what they heard to the person sitting next to them and so on, until they reach the last person who says what he heard. It usually is so far off from what the original phrase was that it is so funny. Well when it’s a game it’s funny, but when it’s someone’s story it really is not.
It’s someone’s life we’re talking about
When people gossip, I think they forget that they are talking about someone’s life. A friend of mine who was getting divorced last summer, had her fair share of people talking about her. Someone said to her to not listen to all the gossip. Her answer, which was brilliant, “It may be gossip to some, but to me it’s my life.” It really is someone’s life and emotions.
Any spiritual book that you read or any spiritual speaker will tell you to stop gossiping if you’d like to raise your energy. If you want to transcend the everyday and get to that higher place spiritually, then refraining from gossip is a must. Notice how you feel after you talk about someone. It’s usually a dense, heavy feeling.
I feel gossiping is truly a form of bullying. It’s not anything that anyone can ever be 100% certain of, so then why speculate and spread rumors that may or may not be true.
The other part of it to look at is who cares? Really, when I went through my pregnancy losses, there were probably a handful of people who truly cared and the rest thought it was a good, tragic story to share. Unfortunately, it’s the juicy stories that get people’s attention.
All you can do is not engage in it yourself
After I lost the baby, a friend of mine told me that there was a woman going around our swim club starting off the conversation with, “Did you hear what happened to Mary Salfi?” My friend wanted me to confront this person and tell her to stop. Really, was I ever going to do that? If she got a thrill from spreading my news, then there’s no way to stop it.
What it did was made me realize that I will never engage in gossip myself. I will always respect other people’s lives and stories. I usually figure out when something is going to turn into gossip and respectfully, walk away. When it’s none of my business, then I have no business saying anything.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Remembering to respect people - always!
Mary
Have you ever played the game telephone?
It’s where you sit in a circle with a bunch of people and the first person whispers something in the person’s ear, then that person relays what they heard to the person sitting next to them and so on, until they reach the last person who says what he heard. It usually is so far off from what the original phrase was that it is so funny. Well when it’s a game it’s funny, but when it’s someone’s story it really is not.
It’s someone’s life we’re talking about
When people gossip, I think they forget that they are talking about someone’s life. A friend of mine who was getting divorced last summer, had her fair share of people talking about her. Someone said to her to not listen to all the gossip. Her answer, which was brilliant, “It may be gossip to some, but to me it’s my life.” It really is someone’s life and emotions.
Any spiritual book that you read or any spiritual speaker will tell you to stop gossiping if you’d like to raise your energy. If you want to transcend the everyday and get to that higher place spiritually, then refraining from gossip is a must. Notice how you feel after you talk about someone. It’s usually a dense, heavy feeling.
I feel gossiping is truly a form of bullying. It’s not anything that anyone can ever be 100% certain of, so then why speculate and spread rumors that may or may not be true.
The other part of it to look at is who cares? Really, when I went through my pregnancy losses, there were probably a handful of people who truly cared and the rest thought it was a good, tragic story to share. Unfortunately, it’s the juicy stories that get people’s attention.
All you can do is not engage in it yourself
After I lost the baby, a friend of mine told me that there was a woman going around our swim club starting off the conversation with, “Did you hear what happened to Mary Salfi?” My friend wanted me to confront this person and tell her to stop. Really, was I ever going to do that? If she got a thrill from spreading my news, then there’s no way to stop it.
What it did was made me realize that I will never engage in gossip myself. I will always respect other people’s lives and stories. I usually figure out when something is going to turn into gossip and respectfully, walk away. When it’s none of my business, then I have no business saying anything.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Remembering to respect people - always!
Mary
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I got offended, really?
I was at a doctor’s office the other day for a routine check-up. In hindsight, I realize that the physician’s assistant was really just doing her job, but I decided that she was a mean you-know-what.
It’s only after I left that I realized that no matter what she did, that was going to be the verdict. Why? Because I’m sick of doctor’s offices. I had my fill of going to doctor’s offices the two years I had the miscarriages that I if I never went to a doctor’s office again, I bet it’ll be OK.
Was that situation really offensive?
I started to wonder about why we get offended. Is it really because the situation was offensive or is it because we’ve had some prior experience that made us get offended? I’m not sure that I can ever generalize but I can say with confidence that in this particular situation it was due to a past experience. I didn’t want to be in that environment so therefore, I was already in a bad mood. That poor woman did not stand a chance.
Do you remember a time when you got offended by something someone did or said, but your friend who was standing there did not? That happens to me all the time when I’m with my husband. He’s the type that doesn’t allow people’s comments to bother him. He loves the saying “water off a duck’s back.”
Really in the big scheme of life, life is too short to waste your time being offended. If you don’t like something then move away and engage in something else.
In my specific case with the doctor’s office, I had to realize that it won’t be the last time I go to see a doctor, so the sooner I get over it then the better off I am. When you recognize the root of an issue, it becomes much easier to solve the problem.
So many situations happen to us in life that if we take a negative feeling with everything that happens, eventually the burden of all that will crush us. Lighten it up and take it all in stride.
It’s totally up to you as to how you live your life!
I truly believe life is a choice and how you live it is ultimately up to you. So what is that choice going to be? Is it going to be to get offended by that nasty driver, or that physician’s assistant, or that friend who’s intentions didn’t come out quite the best? I’d say, don’t waste your time on it.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Next time I go to a doctor’s office, I’m going to think whoever is helping me is really just trying to do the best job they can!
Mary
It’s only after I left that I realized that no matter what she did, that was going to be the verdict. Why? Because I’m sick of doctor’s offices. I had my fill of going to doctor’s offices the two years I had the miscarriages that I if I never went to a doctor’s office again, I bet it’ll be OK.
Was that situation really offensive?
I started to wonder about why we get offended. Is it really because the situation was offensive or is it because we’ve had some prior experience that made us get offended? I’m not sure that I can ever generalize but I can say with confidence that in this particular situation it was due to a past experience. I didn’t want to be in that environment so therefore, I was already in a bad mood. That poor woman did not stand a chance.
Do you remember a time when you got offended by something someone did or said, but your friend who was standing there did not? That happens to me all the time when I’m with my husband. He’s the type that doesn’t allow people’s comments to bother him. He loves the saying “water off a duck’s back.”
Really in the big scheme of life, life is too short to waste your time being offended. If you don’t like something then move away and engage in something else.
In my specific case with the doctor’s office, I had to realize that it won’t be the last time I go to see a doctor, so the sooner I get over it then the better off I am. When you recognize the root of an issue, it becomes much easier to solve the problem.
So many situations happen to us in life that if we take a negative feeling with everything that happens, eventually the burden of all that will crush us. Lighten it up and take it all in stride.
It’s totally up to you as to how you live your life!
I truly believe life is a choice and how you live it is ultimately up to you. So what is that choice going to be? Is it going to be to get offended by that nasty driver, or that physician’s assistant, or that friend who’s intentions didn’t come out quite the best? I’d say, don’t waste your time on it.
I’d love to hear from you!
You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com
Next time I go to a doctor’s office, I’m going to think whoever is helping me is really just trying to do the best job they can!
Mary
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