Boundaries

I have written about boundaries many times. I often refer to them when I am talking about contracts or soul lessons. I believe that we all come to earth to grow and therefore, take on different lessons or contracts.

I also believe that we have a bigger purpose or what I call a world contract. This world contract could be something that you do for a living or it could be something that you are passionate about. I am passionate about the environment for example. I donate, I recycle and so on.

A world contract doesn’t have to be a cause; it can be anything that you are absolutely passionate about. The criterion for it, I believe, is that it must benefit others.

Life lessons

Life lessons or soul contracts, on the other hand, are for your personal growth. Examples are: having joy, trust, giving, receiving, balance, relationships, and abandonment and so on.

One of my soul contracts is setting boundaries. I realized that about five years ago when I first learned about contracts. It was such an “aha moment” for me. I realized that I had been dealing with boundaries my whole life. People would ask the most ridiculous things of me and I never said no. I definitely would get frustrated with them, but it’s only when I realized that one of my lessons was boundaries that I actually appreciated them for helping me learn it.

Setting boundaries is as much about saying no as it is about respecting other people’s boundaries. Every lesson has its yin and yang or balance to it.

Boundaries … they never go away

I have gotten a lot better with boundaries but they have definitely not gone away. I realize now that they may come through my kids and their experiences as well.

Zack, my five-year-old, had an issue about a month ago with a little boy in his class. We had a huge discussion about it at school and I thought that it had been resolved. Last week, he comes home telling me that same little boy was inappropriate with him again. It has been on my mind since then.

I have brought it to everyone’s attention at school, but I realized that there was a piece missing for me. I believe that what’s been bothering me the most is the lack of respect this boy continuously displays towards Zack.

I always say that our kids have their own journey in life and we must respect that completely. I don’t believe that this is Zack’s journey as much as it is mine. It is my job as Zack’s mother to stand up for him and to say that this little boy cannot continuously disrupt his rhythm at school.

We cannot worry constantly as to what behavior will come out of this other boy. It was bothering me all last week until I realized that it was about setting boundaries as to what is and is definitely not acceptable.

Is it a big deal that he took candy out of the bowl?

Last night, I was handing out candy to some trick-or-treaters when a little boy reached into my candy bowl and took what he wanted. I didn’t say anything to him, but it really bothered me. I told my husband about it later and he said that I said the same thing last year. That is an example of a boundary as well.

Is it really a big deal that this kid reached into the candy bowl? At this point, I would say no, but I do believe he’ll grow up lacking respect for other people. You can see trends in people at every age, but especially when they are little.

Your thoughts … I’d love to hear them

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com

Saying no to the behavior of a little boy that is totally unacceptable!

Mary