Where is heaven?

I was contemplating the idea of heaven while driving yesterday. We always think of or imagine heaven to be way up high in the sky. I thought "what if it was right here instead?" What if it wasn't way up there but rather it was right on top of me. I thought what if Earth and Heaven are superimposed and we get to "bump" into heaven every once in a while when we receive a message or catch a glimpse of something from the afterlife.

It would be comforting for me to know that it was right here and I didn't have to do much or "travel" much to reach heaven. I read a book one time explaining that when you die you actually recreate the environment from which you came to make that transition easier. Wouldn't that imply that you're not really going anywhere far?

Then I took it one step further. What if heaven and hell were our own creations? What if heaven is when you were happy and content while hell is being unhappy and miserable? What would you need to do about it then to make sure that you were living a heavenly state while alive? Do you really need to die to achieve bliss?

While in Maui, Wayne Dyer discussed the idea of a quantum moment. A quantum moment is that moment when something major happens in your life and serves to really shift your awareness. After that quantum moment you truly are never the same. This quantum moment carries an energy with it that propels you upward. He talks about there being “falls” in your life and to look for the upward propelling energy after the fall.

A woman in the Wayne Dyer seminar shared her quantum moment. She had been bulimic for 22 years and she realized in one of her states of frenzy that her thoughts were causing her chaotic state. She also recognized that her thoughts had no weight in them other than what she gave them. She realized what Louise Hay says all the time "it's just a thought and a thought can be changed at any time". Since that quantum moment this woman has become healthier than she’s ever been.

I love the idea of a thought being nothing more than what you’d like it to be. To remember that you are the creator of your life and destiny rather than a victim of circumstance is fantastic.

I was having a girl’s night in with a few of my friends last night when one of the ladies asked another “do you see the blessing in that or are you not there yet?” I love that question! Sometimes we have quantum moments that take us a while to realize their value. When we do recognize their effect on our life that shift upwards will happen and in my opinion we are one step closer to heaven.

So if heaven is right here and I can access it at any time then where are my loved ones who have passed away? I feel that they are right here all the time; their existence is superimposed on ours. If you read “Conversations with God” it’ll explain to you that time is not linear. The only thing that exists is now so every life we live is lived simultaneously.

So if our loved ones are right here going about their business and daily life can I talk to them more and receive more messages from them? I say absolutely! I remember one time my brothers were coming to town for my oldest son’s baptism. While I was cleaning the house the song “Butterfly Kisses” started playing on the radio. This is a song that always reminds me of my dad. Was it a coincidence or was he telling me that he was there ready to share in the celebrations of the next few days? I believe he was right there enjoying his family being together.

I feel that we are one step closer to Heaven as the veil between the spirit world and ours gets thinner and thinner. Heaven on Earth can be achieved so why not live it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com


Blissfully,
Mary
 

'Tis the season to be ...

Have you ever thought what this season invokes in you? Is it the season to be jolly? Grateful? Hopeful? Sad? Emotional? Angry?

I remember the first Christmas after my dad passed away I spent the entire night looking out the window. There wasn't a festive bone in body that evening. I don't think we even put up a Christmas tree after that for a long time. That was certainly a time of sadness and plenty of emotion.

I met my husband 12 years ago. My husband is a very positive, upbeat person. We were sitting around one day around Christmas when he decides that we were going to get a tree and decorate it together. Neither one of us owned any ornaments so we went on this adventure. We bought beautiful ornaments and coordinated the colors of deep red and gold. I had my first taste of eggnog ever which didn't go over so well. We made cookies and had hot chocolate with a scoop of ice cream in it. I was on a step stool putting up some ornaments and my husband was kneeling to plug the lights in; that was the moment I looked down and realized that this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It was a moment of knowing - there was no question in my mind. We had known each other 6 months. It truly was a magical night.

The most incredible thing about that first Christmas with my husband was it was the turning point for me. It was when I started replacing feelings of joy, gratitude and hope for those of sadness and hurt.

Prior to that, I would feel sad for all the people in the world that were not as fortunate as the rest of us. I didn’t know how to set those boundaries and not take on their story. Now, I still have that same empathy but I do something about it to my comfort level. For example, last year my friends and I adopted a family in need for the holidays. We bought the mom and her 2 kids some things off their wish list. This year, I’m sending money to a family whose house burned down and the husband lost his job over the summer. My mom would always say to me “do what you feel you can do and leave the rest to God”. I love that! Her point is have faith that all will work out. Isn’t that what life is all about? Having faith in God and believing that it will all work out for your best.

While I was in Maui, I shared my story of Isabella’s loss with the crowd of 450 people. I was telling Ram Dass that he had inspired me with his words. I was saying that part of the reason I was there was to find my center again after having had 3 miscarriages in a row the last of which was a 20 week baby girl.

When we went on break a few people came up to me to express how sorry they were for what I had been through and most offered me their stories of how they had a few miscarriages and then went on to have kids. It was only after the second or third person talked to me that I realized people assumed I didn’t have any kids. That evening I told my friend that I wished I had mentioned that I had kids so that people wouldn’t feel that bad for me. I had changed my mind about that by the next morning. It’s not my fault that some people took on my story so harshly. I had heard some pretty bad stories as well but I didn’t take them on as my own.

Life is up, down and everything in between. I can’t feel bad when it’s my turn and when it’s someone else’s turn as well. I’d never be happy. You can feel empathy for someone but not take their story on. The other night, I wrote in my gratitude journal that I was grateful for Isabella and the incredible experience she gave me. I have slowed down tremendously; I am able to enjoy and savor the moments of my life since Isabella. Life is meant to be experiences that you gain from. This is definitely an experience I gained from. I would have rather had her for sure but as my husband loves to say “it is what it is”. There’s no use fussing over what could have been rather than enjoying what is.

If this season invokes in you feeling of sadness or loss I would suggest you look at those feelings to understand why. When you look at something and take the time to understand it then you can shift those feelings. As the teachings of Abraham say “it doesn’t matter where you are right now, you can always get to where you want to be”.

Personally, I love the gift shopping, I love wrapping the gifts, I love the parties, I love the holiday movies, I love the smiles on my boys’ faces … I could go on and on! I love it all. I wish for you the same enthusiasm for this season.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this post. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook. If you’re logged in to Facebook then follow this link to become a fan of marysalfi.com

Off to buy more gifts,
Mary

What is the Universe really trying to tell you?

We get signs from the Universe all the time; we see images of things in our mind’s eye, we have dreams, we listen to songs that resonate with us, we watch movies that trigger something in us … etc. It’s truly endless when the Universe wants to get our attention.

The question is “what is the Universe really trying to tell you?”

I am reading another book by Neville called "Your Faith is your Fortune". It really is a great read although I must admit I have to read every paragraph at least 3 times to even begin to understand it and I get something different every time.

I read the following paragraph this morning:

"Man can decree a thing and it will come to pass. Man has always decreed that which has appeared in his world. He is today decreeing that which is appearing in his world and shall continue to do so as long as man is conscious of being man.

Nothing has ever appeared in man's world but what man decreed that it should. This you may deny; but try as you will you cannot disprove it for this decreeing is based upon a changeless principle. Man does not command things to appear by his words which are, more often than not, a confession of his doubts and fears. Decreeing is ever done in consciousness".

I found those last 2 lines to be fascinating; 1) That rarely are we truly manifesting that which we talk about rather our words are a confession of our fears and doubts and 2) that we always are manifesting from that subconscious level or really that level of what we truly feel whether we admit that to ourselves or not.

I've discussed this concept before that we are energy beings and the Universe responds to that vibration we are sending out on a subconscious level. I have said make sure you are aligned with that which you would like to manifest so that it does become a reality.

Today I would like to introduce another concept to you. What if the signs from the Universe are also a mirror of your subconscious thoughts? They are showing you what you really are thinking about and not what is going to happen in your future. I tell everyone who comes to me for a reading that I am doing a reading based on where their energy is today and if they don't like what they hear then it's a matter of changing their thoughts which in turn will change the outcome.

I’ll bring it home for you. When I was pregnant or thinking about having that 3rd child I got signs everywhere. My teacher used to always say to me “just because you’re getting the feeling to have a 3rd child doesn’t mean you should. What is it that you’d like to do?” I never answered that question because I didn’t feel that I had a choice of having a 3rd child or not. I felt that if I was getting messages to do it then I should. If I were to look back at the time I was scared out of my mind to have a 3rd child for many reasons. So obviously subconsciously I was sending out the vibe of “I want a 3rd child” but I wasn’t aligned with that vibe yet.

Now all I see is fit people. Is that where I’m headed? I sure hope so. My energy and focus have shifted from having a 3rd child to getting fit and healthy. I say if this child is meant to be then he or she will find their way back to our family but in the meantime I’m focused on shedding those extra pounds and feeling good about me.

The Universe is an ever evolving, dynamic entity. It is not stagnant by any stretch. The Universe does not show us "musts" rather I believe it shows us "maybes".

So when you get those signs from the Universe do you like what you see and is that what you really want? That’s really what I want you to think about after reading this post.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. You may leave a comment below which I would encourage since that gets other people thinking about your thoughts as well, you may email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook.

Check out my upcoming classes by visiting www.marysalfi.com/Classes.html The best way to get the notices for the classes is to sign up for my newsletter at www.marysalfi.com

Thinking thin and healthy!

Mary

How often do you meditate?

The answer should be daily. A daily meditation routine is a must for your sense of well-being and balance. There hasn't been a class or a reading that I can remember where I didn't suggest that everyone mediate daily for at least 15 minutes. The benefits of meditation are tremendous on every level; mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Meditation will lower your blood pressure as well as allow you to feel the connection to God among many other benefits.

The point of a meditation is to go within and connect to your higher self. Questions such as "who am I?", "what do I love to do?", "who would I be if I could be anything I wanted?" and more get answered when you start meditating and going within. I'm sure you've heard the expression "if prayer is asking then meditation is listening for the answer". It is a must for everyone to be in silence for a while every day. It is a must to calm the chatter and the noise from the outside world therefore allowing you to connect to the divine being you are.

The biggest question I get is how to meditate? I would say that the key would be to find a time every day when you can commit to your practice as a start. This could be first thing in the morning or right before bed or at your lunch hour ... it really doesn't matter. I like meditating every day at the same time because then it becomes a routine.

You may start with a walking meditation which is how I started. I would go for a walk and listen to instrumental type of music. A few weeks later, I turned the music off and listened to the sounds of nature around me. A few weeks later, I took my practice inside where I was able to sit still and just be for a while. You can use any housework or monotonous activity as a meditation; washing the dishes or folding laundry can become fabulous meditations if you don't talk on the phone or combine another activity with them. Meditating in the shower is another idea. Sometimes, I imagine the water coming down as a waterfall going through all my chakras cleansing and balancing each of them to return them to their healthy state.

Some prefer doing guided meditations which can be bought on the internet or any metaphysical book store. Go with the one that resonates with you. Some prefer to meditate to chants. I love coloring mandalas as a meditation – that is actually one of my favorites. You may also light a candle and stare at the flame for a while. You may journal which allows you to put your thoughts on paper which will give you further insight to your feelings. There are endless ideas for meditating.

"Be still and know that I am God". I love that phrase! For you to know God you must be still. If you were to take that one step further you would say that God is within you and that you are God yourself. Silence, being in the moment and being still are all essentials in your life. Being present is the greatest gift you can gift to yourself. Don’t worry about the past or the future just “be” in this moment. If you are waiting somewhere use that as an opportunity to meditate rather than getting frustrated with how long you’ve been waiting.

A huge question I get from people is “how do I stop the thoughts from bombarding me?” I say thoughts are normal; it’s what we do. I suggest acknowledging the thought and the putting it in a bubble allowing it to float away. If you engage in a mental struggle with your thoughts then you’ve defeated the purpose of meditating. Acknowledge the thought and then send it on its way.

Meditating will take the anxiety out of your everyday and bring in the calm that is necessary for maintaining joy.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook.

With calm,
Mary

Just what I needed ...

I got a fantastic note from one of my friends today. She said that she's hooked to this blog, she's been reading it for weeks and that she's inspired by what she reads. I have to say that is exactly why I'm writing today. Sometimes things happen in your life to offer you that little push you need. I needed that little push today; that extra umph to get me on the computer again.

Don't get me wrong this is my passion; anything and everything spiritual. I love doing the readings, I love teaching the classes and I love writing this blog. I just needed to be reminded that my passion for this work was shining through these posts and someone was benefitting from it. You just never know how someone gets inspired.

The question for you is "are you where you want to be in life?" "Are you pursuing your passion and living every day with that complete umph?" When you are doing something that you love it's super easy to get back on track with it. I wrote a post called "Dharma" a few weeks ago and I'm asking the question again "what is your dharma?" "Which passion did you come to earth to fulfill?" We all have it; that burning desire within us to fulfill our dreams and make them the reality of our lives.

I read a fabulous book by Neville called “The Power of Awareness” He basically discusses the Law of Attraction in this book. He talks about figuring out what it is you desire and “assume the feeling of the wish already fulfilled”. He says to take the 5 minutes before drifting off to sleep to consciously dream about what it is you’d like to manifest. See yourself already having achieved it. We’ve all heard this idea before about the Law of Attraction. What was interesting about this book for me is that he gave examples of people who spent 2 years doing this until they achieved that which they desired. It just seems like so many of us give up on our manifestation just before it shows up.

If you are not in the ideal situation right now that doesn’t really mean much. You can still get to where you would like to be by bringing that dream into your consciousness. You need to know what it is you’d like to manifest for the Universe to work with you. Someone asked me today about my business and if I’m keeping busy. I answered that I’m always as busy as I can handle. It seems like the Universe is in total collaboration with how much I can take on. Last year, I hosted an internet talk show called “the Psychic Café”. The show aired on the 7th Wave Network for 14 weeks. The couple of months before and during the show it seemed like I barely did any readings at all. I only realized that about 3 months later which is when I smiled and thought well I couldn’t handle doing a reading right now anyway. As soon as the show was over I was booking readings like crazy again. I’ve constantly said that we are energy beings and we attract that which is a vibrational match to us at the moment. The key is to align ourselves with that which we want to attract.

My friend gave me the push today that I was asking the Universe to deliver to me. I was asking for inspiration and I got it. Now to do something about it … for starters I am going to post the entire class schedule for 2010 on my website at www.marysalfi.com/Classes.html if you’d like to take a look at what’s coming up. You do not need to be in Denver to take these classes; information on how to attend remotely is found on the website.

So what inspires you? The Universe is constantly delivering signs and messages to you. When you hear them do you do something about it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. You may post a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com, or find me on Facebook.

With inspiration!
Mary

He would've been 76 today ...

Today is my father's birthday. My father is Youssef Ajaj Khoury. People called him Joe Khoury. My dad passed away 22 years ago on August 14, 1987. It took me about 17 years to even begin accepting the fact that he had passed away. My dad was a great man. He was incredible both to his family and to anyone that was part of his life. I remember my friends saying phrases like "you're so lucky, your dad left work just to oil your roller skates." His passing left my 2 brothers, my mom and I in such shock that still to this day we have a hard time talking about the whole incident for too long.

I am at a place though where I would like to acknowledge this great man and thank him for all he's done for me. I was very intuitive growing up. As a matter of fact, a few months before my dad passed away I would hear a voice in my ear telling me it was going to happen. I remember jerking my head and saying "NO!" but I knew that I couldn’t prevent the inevitable. I was 13 at the time. My intuition continued to be strong for about 10 years after that which is when I decided to shut it off completely because it got to be so overwhelming. I managed to do just that for about 5 years but when my oldest son was born everything seemed to come flooding back. I felt spirits all around me and it really freaked me out. One of the things I felt most prominently was the presence of my dad. I just knew he was around which is when I went searching for answers. It was my dad who wouldn't let up until I found my way back to my passion and life's work.

Growing up I lived in Saudi Arabia which is where my dad worked. My mom and dad would go for daily walks with me on his shoulders; I absolutely loved that. When I got too big for that we would walk together and talk about everything. He was the type that would explain to you anything you'd like to know about. He would wake me up every morning at 6 am to find the morning star. Now whenever I happen to see the morning star I acknowledge my pop and tell him that I love him and miss him. He would spend hours with me looking up at the stars and the moon through a telescope. I learned to find the big dipper and was fascinated by the craters of the moon. He would help my mother make the salad for our meals and they were the best. My dad had a special touch that made everything just feel better. You just felt safe in the presence of my dad. He was a man of integrity and would never let anything stand in the way of what he believed in. He loved listening to the music of Peter Tchaikovsky. My music listening is not quite as refined but I love to listen to his music every so often to honor my dad.

I could go on writing about my dad for days. Today I would like to wish my dad a very Happy Birthday. If he was on this Earth plane I would bake a fabulous cake, make a huge meal and drink to his health and happiness. He is not on this earthly plane but I do feel that he is with us all the time. So I will wish for him whatever makes him happy in heaven; maybe that’s hanging out with his buddies or going for a long walk or whatever else. I miss my dad more than words can describe. I wish he was here giving me his big bear hugs. I wish he were here so that I could tell him in person how much I love him and value him. I always say to people that the only thing that happens when people die is that they change form but that they are still with us. I know he hears and appreciates this birthday wish.

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you and will miss you always!

Your daughter,
Mary Khoury Salfi  

Law of Attraction

I just finished reading a book called "The Power of Awareness" by Neville. I must've read the entire book in one day. What a fantastic book! Neville talks about the Law of Attraction in this book although he terms it something else.

Neville discusses the idea of manifesting into your life all that you want "by assuming the feeling of the wish already fulfilled". In other words, when you want something then you act as if it's already in your experience. The Universe without fail responds to your thoughts. This concept is explained perfectly by the following quote from the book "The Vortex" by Jerry and Esther Hicks:

"You live in a Universe that is based upon the Law of Attraction. That means that this is an inclusion-based Universe, not an exclusion-based Universe. In other words, in an inclusion-based, attraction-based Universe, there is simply no such thing as "no". When you look at something wanted and you say "yes" to it, you are including it in your Vibration; and it becomes part of your Vibrational offering, which means it is a part of your point of attraction, which means - it begins to come to you. But when you shout "no" at something, you are including it in your Vibration, also, so it then becomes part of your Vibrational offering, which means it is a part of your point of attraction, which means - it begins to come to you."

Think about that for a moment. Even if you are saying “no” to something you are essentially inviting it into your experience. Isn’t that wild? I’ve heard it said before that the Universe doesn’t understand the word no. If you’re thinking about it in any which way it’s coming to you!

Our thoughts are truly the basis of everything. It is on that subconscious level of thinking that we manifest everything into our life. Outwardly, you may be saying something however what appears in your life is what you truly feel. This constantly brings me back to understanding who you are and what you're about. Once you realize how you would like your life to look like then you can begin to visualize it that way until it becomes a reality. Neville talks about imagining what you'd like to have every night before going to sleep and eventually you will manifest your desires.

If what you’d like to manifest is a house then before going to be every night feel as if you already own the house, see the colors on the wall, visualize the furniture you’ve decorated it with … etc. The key is to keep doing this until your wish has been fulfilled. So many of us will give up on our dreams because we feel it’s been too long and if it was going to work then it would have. Neville gives examples of people doing this exercise for 2 years to then have their dreams manifested.

The teachings of Abraham channeled through Esther Hicks will suggest that we focus on joy. They suggest that we constantly reach for a better feeling of where we’re at. I feel that’s a fantastic way to look at the Law of Attraction. So if I say that I’d like to manifest happiness into my existence that means if a house makes me happy then it will come into my experience with the opposite being true.

So what are you looking to attract into your life?

I’d love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook to leave a comment there.

With happiness!
Mary

Dharma

My niece Elssa was born in the wee hours of Halloween morning. She has brought a lot of love and joy with her. It's amazing how much you can love someone without even meeting them yet. She certainly has the love of her aunt and will for all of time.

Elssa's name means God's promise or God is my oath. Since she's been born I've thought about her promise or her dharma. Dharma is our divine mission; it's the reason we are on Earth. I thought about what may be the dharma of my boys Louie and Zack. Any time I talk to someone about their life purpose, I ask them to think back to when they were 8 years old and tell me what they loved to do. I ask them to think back to the time when life wasn't in the way of their happiness.

Ever since I can remember I've always wanted to be a counselor. I thought I would be great at it since I loved listening to people and helping them figure out a solution to their issue. The problem became that I didn't know how to set the boundaries between what was someone else's problem and mine. I got to the point that I was so overwhelmed with sadness that I decided to turn away from my dharma and go in the exact opposite direction which is when I went to engineering school and graduated with honors as an Electrical Engineer. Not once during the entire time I was in school was I passionate about what I was doing. Eventually I found my way back into doing what I love doing and that is listening to people and offering them guidance to a better life.

My heart's desire would be to not get in the way of my children's dharma. If my son wants to be a football player then I'd like to cheer him on no matter how much I'm afraid of him getting injured. My husband and I always think that our youngest is going to do something wild with his life. He's the no fear and get out of my way type. I am going to make an effort to allow him to fulfill his passion as well.

Back to Elssa which is where all this thought process began. What is her dharma I wonder? I feel that our passion begins showing up when we're really young. The toys we play with and the books we gravitate towards. I have a cousin who would take apart anything that was put in his hands and he eventually became an engineer which suits him perfectly.

If you have kids, look for what they like to play with and what stories they love to listen to. I hope that this post has intrigued you enough to wonder about your own dharma. One thing is guaranteed, if you're not fulfilling your life purpose then you will constantly feel nagged and maybe even unhappy to some extent. So start asking yourself those questions of "who am I?", "what do I love to do?", "what makes me happy?", "if I could do or be anything I want to what would I choose?" ... etc. It is your obligation to yourself to be happy and guaranteed you are happiest when fulfilling your dharma!

I wish for Elssa, my boys, my other nieces and nephews a life of ultimate joy. I wish for them the wisdom to recognize what their dharma is and to fulfill it to its utmost. We all came into the world to shine and shine we do when doing what we love.

I'd love to hear from you. Email me to mary@marysalfi.com, find me on Facebook or leave a comment below.

With passion,
Mary

Changes

I am still trying to absorb all that was discussed during my workshop with Wayne Dyer. Anytime I attend a workshop of this nature I usually come back with resolutions for myself. This particular workshop was pretty significant for me since I was there on my birthday. I felt that I would stick with whatever I chose to accomplish.

One of the resolutions I made was that I would start a gratitude journal which I would write in every day until my next birthday. I'm already experiencing a shift in my attitude. If something happens that would've normally upset me it seems as though I am able to shift the feelings faster. For example, my 4 year old broke the cabinet this morning. I did reprimand him but then was able to go back to my happy place after a meditation. This is something that prior to making this conscious decision to be calm I would have taken a lot longer to get over. I write in my gratitude journal every evening and sometimes I go back to read what I wrote before. It always has the same effect of putting a smile on my face.

Another resolution I made was that I would start teaching my 6 year old son how to meditate. My 4 year old also comes to hang out with us but he's not as into it. I figure he'll get there soon. We start by sitting quietly for a few minutes and taking deep breaths. Then I pick a word for us to contemplate and meditate on. A few of the words we've meditated on so far have been kindness, love and patience. We'll pick one word and use it all day. So if the kids are playing with one another and they're not being nice to each other we'll remember that the theme of the day has been being kind.

We also do nightly prayers with the kids. Partly of the nightly routine is to contemplate what happened that day and what we're grateful for. Each of my kids gets to say what they enjoyed about the day. My 4 year old said that he was grateful for his parents and brother, for his room, the posters and even the color on the walls. It was fun for me to hear what they came up with. We close out the day with talking somewhat of the day to come and praying for happy dreams.

One of the biggest changes that I can see in myself is this sense of peace. Being in the presence of people like Wayne Dyer and Ram Dass allows you to view life in a different light. Wayne Dyer has just been diagnosed with leukemia and Ram Dass has been in a wheel chair due to a stroke for about 15 years yet they are both in a state of gratitude and oneness with God. When asked if he could beat the leukemia Dyer answered that would involve a fight and he's not about fighting. He's going to ask his leukemia to live peacefully in his body. What a fantastic way to look at it? Anything that involves a fight or struggle will ultimately lead to fatigue no matter what the situation is. At a later time, he mentioned that with "God all things are possible" as far as overcoming his illness. I have used this as a mantra for myself as well. With God anything and everything is possible.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook.

With God all things are possible! I am loving awareness. These are awesome mantras to have as part of your consciousness.

With Love,
Mary

Don't feel sorry for me; instead use the silence to go within.

I just got back from Maui. I went there to attend Wayne Dyer's workshop - have I mentioned that I love Wayne Dyer? The weekend was incredible; absolutely full of thoughts and ideas that will take me a while to assimilate into my being. I will be writing many posts on this workshop.

One of Wayne Dyer's teachers is Ram Dass. This was a man who was a Harvard professor but was not fulfilled with that. He ended up in India and studied with a guru. He wrote the book "Be Here Now" which I am in the process of reading. Ram Dass lectured for a long time without getting paid for any of his work. All that he made was donated. A few years back, Ram Dass suffered a stroke which left him in a wheel chair.

Wayne Dyer invited Ram Dass to come talk to us this weekend for a little while. His speech is extremely slow due to the stroke. When he first began talking it took him about a minute to get the following sentence out "don't feel sorry for me; instead use the silence to go within." He was referring to the silence between his words. He could say a word and then take 10 seconds before saying another. The tendency was to feel sorry for him but it was just not possible after that statement.

I was in awe of this man after he delivered his talk. Some of the insight offered was to be in a constant state of love. He talked about truly loving the room he was in and all the people and the walls on all sides. He gave us a mantra to contemplate: "I am loving awareness". Isn't that a fantastic mantra? I have used it every day since hearing it. I just repeat it all the time.

I probably have not done Ram Dass justice with this little post about what he talked about but I had to share with you a snippet of my experience. I did use the silence between his words to go within and to realize what my life is about and who I am. After that I realized that we are all one and an extension of the source we all came from. I also realized there is much to be grateful for in my life and that I was going to start a gratitude journal recording my gratitude for one full year. It has been awesome to realize that I am grateful for my husband, kids and family but also for snow, a cup of hot tea and books.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or send me a note on my Facebook account.

Use the silence that's in your life as an opportunity to go within and connect to the divine being that you are.

With love,
Mary

Stop Complaining and Explaining!

Have I mentioned that I love Wayne Dyer? I am reading his book "Excuses Begone!" and I read this phrase a few nights ago: stop complaining and explaining. I have been contemplating it since.

Often we feel the need to be right or to be heard or to be justified. This sentence puts an end to all that. There's no need to justify your actions to anyone. You are accountable only to yourself. If you can look at your actions and be ok with them then I say "enough said".

Another fantastic Wayne Dyer phrase is "what you think of me is none of my business". That is so true. We all have our thoughts or our truths and we are all right in our world. Therefore, for anyone to judge another is something that is impossible. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Using my set of truths on another is a recipe for disaster.

We all want to be accepted and loved which is fine. It's just not ok to alter who we are for that purpose. Again I go back to the questions of who are you? What do you love to do? What do you want to accomplish in your life? What are your goals? These are questions that are a must in our quest for happiness. Living our lives to please others oftentimes leads us to disappointment because we are being measured by someone else's scale and we're never going to live up to someone else's truth. You can only live up to your truth.

When we're disappointed we feel the need to complain which leads to explaining because we want to be heard or justified. At times, the best thing to do is to shift our focus from the negative to the positive. Once we open ourselves up to seeing the good in our lives then it flows to us with abundance. Wayne Dyer also talks about choosing the kind of Universe you want to live in. Do you want to live in a hostile universe or a friendly one? It really is up to you. If you choose the friendly one then everyone and everything is on your side. Nothing else can be a part of your reality because your choice blocks anything else.

I found this sentence to be very profound and I started using it immediately. It really is up to you to change the course of your life at any juncture. You're never too old and it's never too late. Just make the decision to stop complaining and explaining and start doing. Any excuse that may be a part of your reality right now can be eliminated with a choice.

What is your choice? Are you going to complain and explain or are you going to get up and do?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please share them with a comment below, by emailing mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook.

Also, I have a new Spiritual U class coming up in January. You do not have to live in Denver to sign up for the class. For more information visit http://www.marysalfi.com/Spiritual_U.html

Just doing,
Mary

Don't put a period where God placed a comma!

I recently sent out my monthly newsletter. I send one every month with information on my upcoming classes, book recommendations and a "Ponder This!" section. September was the first newsletter I sent out after losing Isabella. I mentioned the loss of Isabella in that newsletter and pointed them to the blog. A lot of my newsletter readers hadn't read the blog yet mainly because they didn't know about it. Since then I've had a renewed flurry of activity from people emailing me their condolences. I am always honored to receive those notes and it warms my heart to feel that people truly care. So for that I thank you all.

In one of the email exchanges I had, a friend of mine said to me "don't put a period where God placed a comma". I thought that was a fantastic statement! I thought about all the times that we make a decision that seems so definite only to have the course of our lives altered for the better just a few months later.

In the few months before meeting my husband I had decided that I was going to be about myself for a while. I didn't want to go out with my friends, I wasn't going to date, all I did was do things that allowed me to go within and discover who I was. The last thing on my mind was meeting the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. During my "break" from the stimulus of the world, I got invited to a friend's annual crawfish boil. This was a party that I had been to for years and pretty much knew everybody. I thought I would decline the invitation but my mom really wanted to go see her friends so I took her. I met my husband that night; we talked all night and have been together ever since. I had put a period where God had a comma.

I love Doreen Virtue's oracle cards. I must own 5 different decks. One of my favorites is "Magical Messages from the Fairies". I also love the Archangel and Angel cards. I'll pull cards sometimes daily. A lot of my cards will say something to the effect of "everything is ok" or "things are working out in your favor". I look at those cards sometimes and think how could that be? How could 3 miscarriages in a row be an ok thing? But what if this is not a period but the comma that we're talking about?

I like to think that the Universe is always on my side and things are working out for my best. Why don't I give God and the Universe a chance to show me how things are working out in my favor? I really don't believe that Isabella will ever come back to us in the physical form. At the same time, what if her work with us is not done and there's still more to come. One of my friends who lost a daughter at full-term to a still-birth thinks that she is now her guardian angel. That’s a perfect example of allowing this experience to be a comma and not a period.

I suggest allowing the Universe to be on your side and looking at everything in your life as an enhancement to it. Allow God, Spirit, the Universe, Source or whatever you’d like to call it to move in your life. I always tell my students and clients to go with the flow; what if God has something great in store for you? Don’t stop before your dream is realized.

Don’t put a period where God placed a comma!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can email me to mary@marysalfi.com, find me on Facebook or post a comment below.

By the way, you can sign up for my newsletter at www.marysalfi.com if you’d like.

Comma,
Mary

Living the now

For those of you who know me you know that I'm a thinker or I should say I contemplate things. I may read something somewhere or hear someone say something which will lead me to spend the next few days wondering and contemplating what they meant and what might be the answer to it. I have been contemplating a couple of things lately; life and being in the now.

It seems like I've heard about people getting in accidents or having health issues a lot lately and the prognosis has not been good. I've always believed to some extent that we chose how and when we'll die prior to incarnating. I have also read somewhere that you can have up to 3 exit points or 3 times in your life when you may die. These are times that you may have a near death experience or something traumatic may happen to you which forever changes your outlook on life. I also feel that on some level we know the path we're supposed to be leading in our lives but it's a little foggy along with that fogginess comes the when and how we're going to die. Therefore the conclusion for me would be that life for you or I could end at any second so why not enjoy every single moment that you are alive.

Wayne Dyer (shocker I would quote him) talks about the only time you have to live is now. Everything that happened in your past was only a series of "now" moments and everything coming in your future is a series of "now" moments as well therefore the conclusion becomes there is nothing but being in the present moment. Doesn't that feel good? To be free of the past - how liberating is that? We can't turn back time so let's not worry about it.

Was the day I lost Isabella a possible exit point for me? I was told that I lost 40% of my blood volume and that if I hadn't been in the hospital already who knows what would have happened. I'll never be sure if I chose not to die that day but I can say that my outlook on life has definitely changed since then. I would say that I now seize the opportunity to enjoy whatever it is I'm doing and I don't put off until tomorrow as much. Well I do put off housework but not playing with the kids or a tennis match because that allows me to feel good in the now. I do love a clean house and when that's the priority then fixing beds, picking up toys, doing dishes and laundry is what I do.

My friend talks about a near fatal car accident she was involved in that forever changed her life as well. When people tell her they're sorry she had to go through that her answer is she's not. She's actually happy she had that life experience because it allowed her to have an appreciation for what is now.

I feel that living this way will also eliminate a lot of struggles for you. If you enjoy the now rather than having an expectation of how something needs to look then you are also free of those ties. Does expectation lead to disappointment? I would say that it may be true most of the times.

In her book "Life Touches Life" Lorraine Ash talks about how some people who were her friends or family did not show up for her when she lost her daughter at 9 months to a still-birth but how others did come through for her. The people that did show up for her were not the people she was expecting to. She cautions us who have lost babies prematurely that this may also happen. People simply may not know how to react to our situation or don't know what to say. I can definitely say I've experienced this as well. Some of my family members have not called, emailed or sent me a card yet and it's been about 3 months since I lost Isabella. I can't tell you that it doesn't hurt when someone doesn't show up for you but I can also say that I am going to choose to appreciate and enjoy those people who were a huge support for me and still are.

Be in the now - it's the only moment you've got!

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can email me to mary@marysalfi.com, find me on Facebook or post a comment below.

In the now,
Mary

So ... who am I?

I have been going to a hot yoga class lately which I have been enjoying tremendously. Through all the movement that I do in a hot room, I get to contemplate a lot of what's going on in my life and release that which doesn't suit me anymore. I love doing things that are symbolic in that way. Today's instructor asked the question us the question "Who are you?"

I smiled inwardly because that is something I ask myself and teach about all the time. It is also a question I have blogged about as well. I thought to myself well this is easy today - I know the answer. I have contemplated this question a lot and here it is; I am a person who loves company, who loves being outdoors, I love hanging out with my kids, I love going out to dinner with my husband ... among other things. I realized though that as I was going over those in my head that I am not only that. I am also what I desire to be in the future as well as the person I was when I was 10 years old - that pure being that hadn't had a lot of life experiences yet. This brought up a whole new perspective for me on this question.

Esther Hicks channels an entity called Abraham. The teachings of Abraham are quite amazing. They talk a lot about the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction says if you desire something, desire it and expect that it will come to you then it must come. I thought about that with Isabella a lot. I really did want her to come but she didn't. Does that mean that the Law of Attraction doesn't work or does it mean that for whatever reason this manifestation did not come to fruition in the way I wanted it to.

Wayne Dyer takes it one step further and says if your desire does not manifest then assume that it was for your best. Abraham also takes it one step further by saying that it is ideal if you use the Law of Attraction to hold the intention of manifesting joy into your life. Therefore, if you desire joy, feel that you can attain joy and expect joy to come into your life then it must come. This thought process will then lead you to experience joy in everything you encounter. No longer will you work on manifesting a new car or new job or a relationship rather if what will bring you joy is a new car then it will come into your life and so on. Allow the Universe to give you the gifts that give you the greatest happiness. Allow yourself to receive that ultimate gift of joy.

So ... who am I?

I realized after all this contemplation that who I really am is a very compassionate and happy person. Once I said those words to myself I felt a smile forming on my face and I have carried that feeling ever since. My husband had said those words to me in conversation the other day. I didn't realize that he was giving me a gift of realizing who I am one step further. As a child, I helped everyone I could and as an adult I do the same always with a smile on my face.

What do you think? I'd love to hear from you. You can email me to mary@marysalfi.com, find me on facebook or leave a comment below.

In the spirit of yoga ...
Namaste,
Mary

Inspiration. Where is it?

It seems like I went through a period of being uninspired for a couple of weeks. It just seemed like I was going through the motions of the day; one thing leading to the next without my usual umph for life. I don't really know the cause of it but since I am not one to stay in that mode I decided to do something about it.

For those of you that know me well - you know that I LOVE Wayne Dyer. I never go to Maui without openly hoping that I'll just happen to run into him on the beach. Wayne Dyer is known as the father of inspiration so I thought to myself what better seminar to attend then "Excuses Begone!".

The seminar is about eliminating excuses from your life and to just get on with what it is you desire. I've been reading the book "Excuses Begone!" and that has been shifting a lot of thought processes or mind viruses as Dr. Dyer calls them. Wayne Dyer to me is truly inspiring; his style of lecturing just has a way of seeping into my being and becoming part of it. It has been helping tremendously just reading the book and looking forward to actually being part of the workshop.

The greatest thing about making a choice to become inspired is seeing what experiences have come my way since. Esther Hicks, who channels an entity known as Abraham, talks about aligning yourself with what it is you'd like to manifest in your life. I truly believe that is true. When you truly align yourself with what it is you want then it seems like the Universe responds 10-fold and brings you the necessary experiences. My choice of becoming inspired and then following it up with actually buying my ticket to the workshop was the sign the Universe needed to bring me those experiences.

My kids go to a school where the first grade class starts their day with a morning walk. I've been going on these walks these past few days and it's just amazing to me how inspired I'm getting from hanging around a bunch of 6 and 7 year-olds. Today's task was to try to run as fast as you could so that you could jump and touch the branch of a tree. What great fun and excitement this brought. Pretty soon all the boys were running to try to see who could get that branch. We also walked in front of a patch of sunflowers. I mean we're talking about Jack and the beanstalk type sunflowers. These things were huge and overflowing in this beautiful garden.

I thought about that walk and the zest that these kids have for life all day today. I'd like to carry that type of energy with me throughout every day. Why wouldn't I let a giant sunflower inspire and awe me? The yoga class I did today was fantastic, the reading I did this morning was amazing, the tennis matches I watched at our club, my kids running around playing football, my sons' hugs and kisses ... the list is endless of things I can look at to inspire me. I just need to be aware of all the experiences the Universe is sending my way and they are plenty. The key is to pay attention to everything coming my way; both small and big.

What do you think? What inspires you? Are you doing it? Let me know what you think by emailing me to mary@marysalfi.com, posting a comment to this blog or commenting on my Facebook page.

With joy,
Mary

Anyone up for a walk?

A few years ago, one of my dearest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember the day she told me; I felt like the ground had given away beneath me and I thought I was going to collapse. I just couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine what she was going through or how the next few months were going to look. I just remember walking around in a fog for a few weeks and praying really hard that my dear friend would beat the cancer and have that become a memory. I am happy to say that she did! It was such a relief to hear the words "I am cancer free!" YAY what a feeling.

This morning another dear friend of mine is walking the Breast Cancer 3 day benefiting Susan G. Komen for the cure. She has trained for months and it's finally here. She's excited, I'm excited, our city is excited "GO WALKERS!!" She is walking in honor of my dear friend and others who BEAT the cancer but she is also walking in memory of some who didn't. Every mile she walks will hopefully get us one step closer to a cure.

With the anticipation of the walk beginning I've been thinking about my girlfriends and the women in my life a lot these few days. I thought about how many things we will face together; cancer, remission, infertility, adoption, miscarriages, divorces, marriages, new babies, our kids starting kindergarten, kids going to college, menopause ... and many more. It made me want to say that we are a resilient bunch ready to take on life by its horns and enjoy every moment of it. For you my girlfriends, mother, aunts, mother-in-law and sisters-in-law I dedicate this blog to you. May we continue to share all moments of life together.

A few days ago, I wasn't feeling well at all. I was very emotional, upset and tired. It took for me to have a huge cathartic cry on the shoulders of my husband, brother and friend. So for all the men out there that have women in your life and are there for them I dedicate this blog to you as well. Your role is very important in our lives as well and we love having you there.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Email me to mary@marysalfi.com, post a comment or find me on Facebook.

I'm off to a cheering station! I hope I don't cry like a small child when I see my friend walking with thousands of others. If I do cry, oh well I'm not one to bottle it in :)

Namaste,
Mary

Still grieving? Really? Why?

My friend Jacqueline attended the Abraham seminar a few weeks ago when they were in Denver. Abraham is an entity who is channeled by a woman named Esther Hicks. She and her husband Jerry travel throughout the country hosting seminars. I love the teachings of Abraham; they are always so empowering.

Jacqueline was telling me that what stuck with her from the seminar was what Abraham thought about grief. Abraham says that if we understood how awesome it was to die then we wouldn't even spend a moment in grief. I've thought about that statement a lot lately. The reality is though that doesn't seem to be the case. We do spend more than 1 moment in grief; we probably spend years in grief. Why is that?

Is it because of what society expects us to do or is it because of how we feel about it? I'm Lebanese and there it's cultural to wear black for up to a year in mourning. Can you imagine that? Not being able to wear anything with any color in it for a year of more.

I feel part of what keeps us in grief is due to the reactions of people around us as well. It's human nature to imagine what we would do in another's situation which is really unfair to everyone. I believe we've all signed up for our life experiences to grow and evolve. Therefore, most likely I can handle most anything that occurs to me because on some level I was expecting it. I've had so many people call me to say that they wouldn't know what to do or how to get through losing a child at the stage that I did. I would answer to that "why would they know and honestly why would they imagine themselves in that situation?" They will have their own set of life experiences that I probably will never encounter because it is not something I chose for myself.

I've also thought about the fact that it seems that any sad event that happens to us seems to negate ALL the happy times we have. The sad event becomes in the forefront of our minds not allowing us to fully live the life we are meant to live.

I would say that my wedding day was one of the best days of my life. We got married in Puerto Rico on top of a 300 foot cliff overlooking the ocean; the view was breathtaking. We had 75 friends and family members there. It was truly a magical day. The day that my oldest son was born was an incredible journey into motherhood. I wouldn't say that I knew all the joy that day would bring into my life but I do now. My second son was born at home. It was the most peaceful birth anyone could hope for. It was a tender moment for our family when my husband, my 2 boys and I took a 4 hour nap that afternoon together. Every day since having my boys has been brought many moments of joy.

There are other experiences or memories I can draw on as well are maybe not as life-changing but incredible nonetheless. I remember feeling awestruck with the view from the top of a fourteener I hiked when I first moved to Colorado. I felt like I had conquered the world. The happy memories will go on and on if I allow the memory flood gates to open. Going out with my friends, traveling to Hawaii, seeing our extended family ... etc. The wonderful memories are endless.

I've always said that anything that happens to us in our lives is just a life experience and it is a choice as to how you're going to react to it. I'm sure you know plenty of people who are happy regardless of their life experiences and some you are sad or mad regardless of where they are as well.

It is a choice. What is your choice going to be?

Let me know what you think! I would love for you to leave a comment on this website if you so choose otherwise email me to mary@marysalfi.com or leave me a message on facebook.

Peace,
Mary

Man in the Mirror

Why is it that I haven't listened to any Michael Jackson songs in the past 10 years but now all of a sudden I've been listening to his songs like crazy? Anyway this morning while listening to the lyrics of "man in the mirror" I started to think about the words he was saying.

This is the part of the song that really caught my attention:

"I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)"

I started thinking to myself how true is that? If we all started to make the change we want to see around us then wouldn't this world and then in turn all of us be in a better place? It's much better to act on the ideas we'd like to see then to spend time being in judgment about them.

My oldest son was in kindergarten this past year. He goes to a Waldorf school where kindergarteners are called Golden Knights. The teacher spends time with these kids every week teaching them about good deeds and how to effect change in their community. One of the activities they did was to pick up trash in the school's neighborhood. I loved that act of kindness back to our Earth and community. My son was not in shock due to this act because this is something I've done around him before. I always have 2 bags with me when I walk; one for trash and the other for recycling. I have done this for years. It feels good to give back especially to our earth.

I think Michael Jackson was definitely on to something so let's get on that bandwagon! What's the change you'd like to see around you? Is it less poverty? Is it cleaner streets? Is it a better school system? Nothing is too big for you to accomplish if you put your mind to it.

What do you think? Let me know your thoughts by posting a comment below, emailing mary@marysalfi.com or posting a comment on my Facebook account.

I'm starting with the woman in the mirror!
Mary

Coincidence? I think not!

I’ve been through grief before. I lost my dad 22 years ago and still grieve over his loss until today. I am not naïve enough to think that after my pregnancy loss I would not have days of total sadness and overwhelming grief. I have definitely been in that state the last few days. I’m just irritated and sad.

I decided to get a book to help me through all this so I picked up “Life Touches Life” by Lorraine Ash. It is a very heartbreaking and heartwarming story of a mother’s journey after delivering a stillborn baby at 9 months. She wrote about so many things that have been bothering me but I haven’t really been able to place my finger on. It was good to read that someone else had the same feelings that I am going through. This book totally allowed the shift I have desperately needed to happen. I felt that through this woman’s journey I was able to glimpse into the future to a time where it wasn’t so painful.

In the last few pages of the book she mentions that she was talking to a woman who had recently lost her baby. That woman had named her baby Isabella Rose which immediately caught my attention of course. The author shares with the mother the following wisdom through her own journey:

“You will keep seeing the world differently from this time forward. You will speak, feel and love differently. Isabella is the difference between your old self and your new one. Isabella will be the intangible presence in every beauty you behold. She will be the light over the mesa, the sound of the water in the bay at night, the memory of a years-old embrace that brings you comfort. Now I think of the wind as the breath of every baby who was never born.”

When I finished reading this paragraph I started to wonder if my Isabella had sent me this book so that I can read this paragraph and know that she is still there.

I also started to wonder about all the changes that I see happening within me. I just seem to care less about things being perfect which has given me such freedom. I don’t care as much if the beds are made or the toys are picked up. I would rather leave it all and go to the Children’s Museum with the kids and afterwards to the Aquarium for lunch like I did today. Now, at lunch I play the games on the placemats they give the kids and I color the pictures with them. I have patience to build a 272 piece lego airplane that my brother sent my kids. My answer to the kids asking for a toy at the museum or to play an extra few minutes on the playground is “sure honey, why not?” That sense of rushing to get the next thing has left me. I am where I am at the moment I am there. Such peace!

I’m sure that I will continue to have my moments of being down but for right now I feel good and I’m going to enjoy that moment.

I appreciate all the emails I have been getting from everyone after reading the blogs. I read everything and I do respond even if not right away. I love to hear from everyone. You can comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or comment on my facebook site.

Peace,
Mary

Back in the saddle again!

I teach a 7-month program called Spiritual U. I take my students through a journey of self-discovery. We have had to take a few breaks during the class due to my bed rest stint and subsequently the loss of the pregnancy. We resumed the classes yesterday. It was awesome to be back in the saddle again. My students wanted to know how I was doing and feeling. I was honest in saying “I have good moments and bad moments or more like good days and bad days”.

While processing the events of the past few weeks the concept of free will came up. They all know how much work I did with the law of attraction and positive thinking to try to get this baby through. The question was “do we have any free will or any power to change the outcome of something or is it pre-determined and going to happen regardless of what we do or think?” My answer to that would be “I honestly don’t know”. I’d like to believe that we have the ability to change the course of our lives and better the outcome of any situation we are in. I do feel though that we all signed up for certain life experiences which will help our soul evolution. Maybe at the time we are going through the experience it seems like it’s out of our hands but I do believe on some level we always had control over it even if that control happened prior to our incarnation. The thought that came to my mind the other day was that the life experiences we asked for are going to happen and they will be tough to go through but that is ultimately going to lead to the most soul evolution as well. Anything and everything that happens to you will allow you to evolve but it is usually through the trials that the greatest growth occurs. I honestly would not want to deny myself that opportunity. This has not been an easy experience for me but it has offered me an opportunity to look at things differently. I always tell my students “life will happen to you but it’s a choice as to what you’re going to do with it”. Life is meant to be up, down and everything in between. No one will live their whole life with one emotion. Life is emotion which is what makes it so incredible. Would I have rather not had this experience and had a baby instead? Of course, I would have!

A couple of weeks before losing the baby I started to get the feeling that this was going to be the outcome. I thought to myself that if that were to happen I would lose my faith and was terrified of that concept. After all, my spirituality is what brings me the most peace. The funny thing is that it really hasn’t made me lose faith at all. I can’t deny the presence of my spirit guides and the comfort they provide. I can’t deny the presence of God in everything. All I feel is sadness that this happened. I feel like I wish I could fast-forward to the time where it doesn’t hurt as much that’s all.

I was talking to my husband tonight about doing some volunteer work which has always been my passion. I volunteered all throughout college. I devoted time to a children’s hospital, a battered women’s shelter and to the Red Cross. I loved every minute of the time that I gave these organizations. I feel that it’s time to go back to that right now. Maybe that’s another one of Isabella’s blessings; helping me to go back to some of the things that brought me great joy at one point in time. I mentioned in the post before that Isabella has brought great blessings into my life so far and maybe there's tons more to discover. I definitely look forward to that.

I would love to hear your thoughts on all this! Let me know what you’re thinking either by posting a comment below or sending me an email to mary@marysalfi.com.

Peace,
Mary

Isabella Marie

My previous blog of finding joy in every moment lived comes from some wishful thinking this past week. I was pregnant until Tuesday, June 23, 2009 when I delivered my baby girl prematurely at 20 weeks gestational age. She lived for 43 minutes before making her way back to heaven.

I have thought about the reasons for this whole ordeal a lot in the past few days. I am the mother of 2 boys ages 4 and 6. About 2 years ago, a bunch of my girlfriends and I were out to dinner. The drinks were flowing and we were having a wonderful time. I was asked at that moment if I was going to have any more kids and my slightly-sauced state answered with extreme conviction “no – I am extremely content with my family”.

And that’s when the overwhelming signs from the Universe to have a third child began. That night I dreamt of having a baby girl all night long. A few days later the name “Isabella” popped into my head. I got a spiritual magazine in the mail called Isabella. I opened a Pottery Barn Kids magazine where a picture frame caught my attention; the name engraved below was Isabella of course. At Staples one day a little girl runs into the aisle and looks right at me. She was probably no more than 4 years old and stood less than 10 feet away. While wondering where her parents were; I hear her mother calling for her - should I tell you or can you guess what her name was. The signs were relentless.

Anyway, these messages from the Universe kept coming at me for 6 months before I broke down and took the “plunge” and tried to go for it again. My feelings ranged from terrified to somewhat excited. Well after trying one time, I got pregnant. Immediately I knew that something was wrong; I just knew I was going to miscarry. Sure enough I miscarried at 9 weeks. I told myself that it was ok and that we’ll just go for it again and it’ll all be ok. After getting over my anemia and fatigue we tried again 2 months later this time to miscarry at 15 weeks. We actually were going in for a routine ultrasound only to find no heartbeat so a scheduled D&C took place for the following morning. I thought at this point that there’s no way I’m ever going to try again but the feeling of having that baby had its grip on me and wasn’t going to let me go. So I decided to go about it the spiritual way. I read books, I journaled, I meditated, I logged my dreams, I sorted through my feelings, I did Psych-K, I went through EFT, I got acupuncture … I did it all or so I thought. The end result was go for it again! This time it’ll work. The reason all the other times didn’t work is because of my hang-ups of having another baby. I thought I had worked through them.

Well, apparently I didn’t work through them. Anything that could’ve gone wrong in this last pregnancy did. I had a 1 in 200 chance of getting placenta previa but I got it. I had a 1 in 100 chance of getting placenta abruption but I got it. Through all this, the baby was strong and growing magnificently. I was put on bed rest and pretty much stayed on it for about 9 weeks. It was tough but I found things to do; I uploaded music, I created this blog, I created a Facebook fanpage … I am not one to sit around a feel sorry for myself.

Then the unthinkable happened. I went into labor and delivered Isabella Marie Salfi on June 23, 2009. She was perfect in every way. I have gone through too many emotions to go through them in this blog. The biggest question that comes to my mind is “did I misread the signs?” and “what in the world did I just go through and for what?”

I may never get the answer to these questions but I do know that Isabella has given me a few gifts so far:

• I almost lost my life on June 23 so I feel like I’ve been given another chance at life. I feel that the page has been turned and the pen is in my hands to write the story the way I want it to be for the rest of my life.
• I feel that I have had an opportunity to realize that joy is in every moment of my life if I choose for it to be there.
• I feel that my husband and I have been given the opportunity to remember how much we love each other and to keep our eye on the important things.
• I feel that I won’t procrastinate until tomorrow what I can do today.
• I learned that I’ll never tell someone that they “should” do anything ever again. What an extreme word to use; I feel it’s loaded with a lot of disappointment.
• I learned that I won’t try to tell someone how to grieve; it’s different for every individual and it can never be wrong.
• I'm looking forward to discovering more as time goes by.

On the other hand, I miss the thought of what might have been. I wish that Isabella had made it and was the addition we were looking forward to having in our family. She will never be forgotten and she will be my born angel forever. I look forward to seeing her again but not any time soon. I have to get back to living. My emotions are by no means healed but I am trying to find the blessings in life. I am needed by 2 little boys and a wonderful husband.

My heart goes out to every mother who has lost a child. I will love my Isabella forever.

Peace,
Mary

Joy

I’ve done a lot of soul searching this past week mostly thinking about joy. Where do we find it? Is it in everything that we do? How come some of us seem to experience it more than others? Is it a choice to have joy?

Those of you that have been to my classes have probably heard me talk about our life lessons often referred to as contracts. I believe that we all come to earth with a set of lessons to learn. These lessons may include finding joy, receiving, giving, setting boundaries, having value and self worth … etc. I believe that we are presented with opportunities to help us conquer these lessons. I like to refer to these lessons now as life experiences after listening to the teachings of Abraham.

Those of us that have this “joy” contract have to work hard at being happy. Some may say “what kind of a contract is that?” How hard is it to be happy? I say it’s very hard. We all have our set of challenges and for some being patient is next to impossible. Saying no to someone and setting that boundary may be the most difficult thing for you to do and simple as can be for another. That’s why we all have our own unique set of contracts to master. What’s a challenge to you is not for another so the greatest service you can do for yourself is find out what your lessons are in this life.

Back to my joy contract; after this week, I realized that joy is everywhere. Joy is getting a hug. Joy is in the sun shining and in the rain falling. Joy is in going out to dinner with your spouse. Joy is in reading a book to a child. Joy is in riding a bike. Joy is in swimming. Joy is absolutely everywhere and in everything.

I used to feel like I had to look for joy and actively experience it. I felt like I had to go on a fancy vacation to have joy. Joy for me was in the holidays and weddings.

I have re-evaluated that concept and decided that joy is in every breath and every moment. So my promise to me is that I will experience joy in the moment rather than wait for someone else to get married or have a baby.

What do you think?

With joy,
Mary

Who are you?

Does that seem like a silly question to you?

I hosted an internet talk show last fall called The Psychic Café which aired on the 7th wave network. My hope for the series was to introduce everyone to the metaphysical world and prove that it is not meant for a selected few rather it is available to each and every one of us anytime we tap into it. I chose different topics every week such as meditation, chakras, spirit guides, dreams, crystals, intuition, past lives, and so on. I wanted everyone to realize that tapping into their innate knowing was easy and readily available.

The reason I described this talk show to you is that it was during my “intuition” show that I had this epiphany of realizing who I am. I was talking about intuition and how allowing it to guide you will make your life so much more fulfilled and ultimately easier. Intuitive messages are received in your body. Therefore, before you can tune into your intuition your body has to be whole which means that you have to understand who you are, what you’re about, what you love, what you don’t and so on.

I was saying as an example let’s take who I am; yes I’m a mother, a wife, a sister, daughter and friend but that's not all I am. I am also a person who loves the outdoors, I love going out to dinner with my husband and sharing a bottle of wine with him, I love having people over to our house, I love reading, I love teaching, I love doing readings, I absolutely love hanging out with my kids and the list went on when I allowed it.

And that’s when I got it!

Prior to that moment in time I had never taken the time to realize who I really was and what fed my soul. I knew tidbits but I couldn’t recite them to you like I can right now. It is an absolute must for me to do all the things that I love to do. In doing them, I feel whole and fulfilled.

It is also a must for you to identify what feeds your soul and to start doing them. I love the teachings of Abraham channeled by Esther Hicks who said “you have to start caring about how you feel”. When you do then the choices you make will support your happiness which is ultimately what we’re all looking for.

So … who are you?

Tell me your thoughts! You can comment on this blog, email me at mary@marysalfi.com, or post a comment on my Facebook profile www.facebook.com/mary.salfi You can also become a fan of my Facebook page marysalfi.com

All of the Psychic Café shows are available for purchase on CD. Visit http://www.marysalfi.com/Psychic_Cafe_Talk_Show.html for more information.

Sign up for my free newsletter at http://www.marysalfi.com/

Peace,
Mary

Journal Anyone?

“If you write about events in your life that you can't control it helps to make them bearable”.

I thought that was a great line out of a chick flick I watched the other day. As a note, I love chick flicks; give me the romantic, know the ending from the title type of movie and I’m all over it. What can I say I love happy endings and I love them in life as well.

Back to the blog I need to be writing about today. Writing in a journal will bring clarity to any situation you are currently facing. The idea is to just start putting things down on paper and allowing your thoughts to flow. Your goal is to get into automatic writing where you bypass your brain and you write straight from the heart.

You’ll be surprised as to how much insight you will gain by just putting it on paper. The greatest thing about writing in a journal is that it is very meditative; it allows you to connect with your higher self and the source from which we all came.

The debate is whether a computer is just as adequate as pen and paper. My thoughts are although pen and paper is remarkable and truly a great journaling experience if you prefer a computer then journal on your computer. I have a document on my computer called “journal” which I write in all the time but I also have a journal by my bed. I use both all the time.

When connecting to your higher self and your intuition there is no right or wrong. Do what is comfortable to you and just let your thoughts flow. Just like there is no right or wrong way to meditate; all you have to do is give yourself the opportunity to go within and you’ll begin to understand who you are and what makes you happy.

Tell me what you think! I’d love to hear from you either by posting a comment, sending me an email to mary@marysalfi.com or posting a comment on my Facebook profile.

Sign up for my free newsletter at http://www.marysalfi.com/ and receive the latest news on classes and events.

Happy Writing Everyone!
Mary

Take Charge!

Have you ever felt like things are spinning out of your control and you are playing a re-active role in your life? If the answer is yes then I say “It’s time to take charge and play a more active role”. Remember this statement “you are the creator of your experience”.

I know sometimes it feels like things are happening to you and are out of your control but you can change the outcome of any situation once you put your mind to it. It is always a choice of how you react to a certain situation. Never play the role of a victim; that will attract more victim experiences into your life.

You’ll hear plenty of stories of people who overcame illnesses, tragedies and other experiences when they stepped into their power and took control of the situation.

Meditations, visualizations, positive thinking and affirmations are some methods of changing the outcome of any experience. Louise Hay author and founder of the publishing company Hay House says that she expects only good to come her way and it does; what an awesome attitude to have!

That’s not to say that life does not happen to us. We are humans after all and sadness is going to be part of our journey; it must. The difference is how we choose to deal with the situation that comes our way. It could be a choice of accepting another’s journey even if that person is your child, spouse, parent or friend. If the situation that comes up is for us then maybe ask yourself: “what is this life experience trying to teach me?” or “how do I make this experience a positive one?”

Life is meant to be up, down and everything in between. We are all going to experience every range of emotion possible; joy, laughter, disappointment, tears, sadness … it’s all part of life and the beauty of it.

It takes a while to realize that you are the creator of your own experiences and that no one else can influence your life unless you allow them to. Also, it doesn’t matter where you were in the past you can start creating the life you want from this moment. It is a choice.

Tell me what you think! I’d love to hear from you either by posting a comment, sending me an email to mary@marysalfi.com or of course you can comment to me on my Facebook profile which you can access on this page at the top right hand corner.

Peace,
Mary

Forgiving .. Bring it on!

So many of you commented to me individually about how the previous blog about forgiveness impacted you. I have to agree; forgiveness is huge! Remember it doesn’t mean that you forget or condone the act when you forgive. All you do when you forgive is relieve yourself of negative emotion.

A wonderful book to read about how forgiveness among other things cured one woman of cancer is “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L. Hay. It’s a very inspiring book and must read for everyone. It talks about the power of positive thinking and how it can cure any ailment in your body.

Be gentle to yourself when you are doing your forgiveness exercises. It may take more than once and more than one method to achieve the ultimate goal of truly forgiving. You may not be in the space of completely forgiving the person but attempting to will reveal the emotion you need to clear and then you can try again. It can be a process and remember that you are human at the end of the day.

When a certain emotion comes up for you take a moment to understand it. Why is it that you feel anger, sadness or frustration as an example? Sometimes the key to shifting your feelings is to understand which cord this act struck in you.


Also, take a moment to think where the person who hurt you is coming from. As an example, I felt judged by one of my friends. However, when I looked at it I realized that her judgment came because she passionately believed something that was not of my belief system. Then I thought “I can understand where she’s coming from”. Although it still hurt to be judged at least now I understood it which is when I was able to release it.

Any hurt that comes your way from someone is due to a limitation of some sort. It might be their limitation or at times yours. Understand what that limitation is, take the higher road, release that person and wish them well. You will feel much better.


I will be posting blogs about twice a week. I encourage you to leave a comment or to email me at mary@marysalfi.com with your comments; I’d love to hear what you think.

Namaste,
Mary

Does forgiving mean forgetting?

I thought about this question a lot lately. I teach a 7 month program called Spiritual U where I take my students through an amazing journey of the soul. It is 7 months dedicated towards figuring who you are and what you’re about. We learn about meditation, chakras, our lessons in life, how to do readings and so on. I give out homework at every class and the last few assignments were centered on forgiveness. I told my students to put down on a paper the names of all the people they needed to forgive in their life. Then spend a few minutes forgiving that person and themselves. The next assignment was identifying the 5 greatest qualities about the person that was hardest for you to forgive. The range of emotion after that class was tremendous. The most impactful comment heard was “I have no desire to forgive or forget what this person has done.” And that made me think.

Is forgiving also forgetting?

I just finished a book called “The Shack” and I will quote from that book what I think the answer to this question is; “forgiving is not forgetting, it is just taking your hands off the other person’s throat.” I thought that was awesome. When you don’t forgive then the feelings of anger, betrayal and sorrow eat away at you and not at anyone else. Those feeling will fester into something else such as an illness, a lack of vitality for life and so on.

Last night, I modified the forgiveness exercise and did the following. I wrote forgiveness letters to anyone that I had some hard feelings towards. I summarized why I was hurt and explained my feelings. Then I thought of all the great things that person has done for me and thanked them for it. Then I thought of their greatest quality and by their name I wrote that quality down so it looked like NAME = QUALITY. Now, when I think of that person all I remember is that quality. I ended it by wishing them the best in life and signed it With Love, Mary.

I can’t begin to explain to you how liberating this exercise has been. I felt lighter and more empowered after it was done. It serves nothing to hold on to those negative emotions and worlds of difference when you shift your attitude to one of forgiveness and acceptance. You are not condoning the act rather you are freeing yourself from the hurt you chose to feel from it.

Share with me your thoughts about this. I’d love to hear from you!

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Peace to all,
Mary Salfi

Mary Salfi - Spiritual Teacher, Psychic & Medium

I thought I would start with introducing myself to the blogging community. This is my first blog ever and I am looking forward to become a proficient blogger!

I am a spiritual teacher, medium and psychic living in Colorado. I have been intuitive my whole life. As a child, I would know things that I couldn't have possibly known. At the age of 7 or so, I started getting the feeling that my father would pass away. I remember being on the playground making shapes in the sand and I would have this overwhelming sadness take over me and I just knew. I knew it was a matter of time. Well it happened 6 years later. A couple of months before my dad passed away I would hear a voice in my ear telling me that it would happen. That was probably my most vivid experience with intuition.

As a child, I walked around feeling like someone was following me which was really scary. Of course, now I know that those beings were actually my spirit guides keeping an eye on me. I can’t say these were comfortable experiences for me as a child and teenager. At the age of 21, I decided that if I went on like this then I would be labeled weird and no one would want to go out with me. Craving what I thought was a normal life; I decided to shut my intuition off. I stopped reading the books and completely blocked the guidance. I went into engineering school and graduated with honors in Electrical Engineering. I took a job with a telecom company, got married and led the “normal” life I was craving.

My life changed when I turned 29 and my oldest son was born. My intuition came back full force to the point that it was overwhelming. No longer able to deny it or shut it off I started learning more about it. That was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable in my own skin and embraced my intuition.

Now I love giving psychic and medium readings, teaching classes once a month in the evening and a program called Spiritual U. To learn more, please visit my website www.marysalfi.com. I’d love to hear from you either as a response to this blog post or via email at mary@marysalfi.com

I’m going to be posting different thoughts when they come to me on this blog. Please visit it often and let me know what you think.

Namaste,
Mary Salfi