How about working together instead?

If you are an American, you are probably watching or following the presidential race or at least getting some news about in your Facebook newsfeed or to your inbox or on your twitter account or some other form of social media. My point is that it's hard to miss it.

I subscribe to most politicians newsletters. I just want to see what they are thinking and what they are promising.  I'm not a person who is affiliated with any party and I will vote for the person who I think will do our country the most good. I would love to learn who they are to truly understand if they are someone I'd vote for.

Little did I know that might be an impossibility. I'd like for a politician to tell me what they will do as president NOT bash the other candidate. However that seems to be all they are doing in addition to of course bashing the president.

Is this really what we've become? 

Why have we gotten here? Why do we feel as a society that the only way to get ahead is to trample all over someone else? I would love to have a candidate stand up there and be respectful to the president, to his/her fellow candidates and to the opposing party.

What makes someone feel that if they are respectful and not nutty in their ideology no one will listen. Most of us are very reasonable people who want to live in a country where freedoms are afforded, where if you work hard you are rewarded and want to respect and be respected by our fellow human beings. It's not a lot to ask.

I have yet to watch a presidential debate without being embarrassed for the candidates. It's almost as if the candidate is on a mission during the debate to take on another candidate and expose his flaws. Why is that necessary? Why can't he just tell us what he'd like to do to move things in the right direction. What's wrong with working together? At the end of the day we are all Americans before we are republicans, democrats, liberals and so on.

Where's the reset button?

This system is flawed and it's time to fix it. At this point, I'd like a reset button and to start over. Not one of the current presidential candidates has earned my vote but most importantly my respect. I don't trust any of them. We have an entire system built on being deceitful. It's terrible and embarrassing. No one is perfect and everyone is flawed in one form or another. It's called being human. I'm OK with that. Now let's move on and let's work together as a country to make us better.

My friend said it best, "Is it possible for everyone to lose?" He of course meant the candidates but the truth is that we as citizens are losing. We are losing the battle of morality and humanity. At a minimum, I expect the person representing me to be able to act like an adult and to be respectful of another adult standing next to him. If he can't win without attacking another person's character, then I don't want him or her for that matter representing me.

Comments?

I'd love to hear them! Leave your comments below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or on my Facebook page.

So Thankful!

My last post was about helping Denver CASA with their back to school essentials drive. As I mentioned before, I love this organization. Giving a voice to children that may have none otherwise is tremendous. The drive brought in such generosity from my friends and family that the whole experience has been humbling. It's not over yet either, the donations are still coming!

Listening to my intuition 

I recently learned a new form of meditation called Transcendental Mediation. So far it has been amazing. My meditations are very deep and relaxing. During one of the recent meditations, I got a feeling to email Hay House to see if they would donate inspirational books appropriate for children under the age of 18. I specifically got the feeling to ask for Dr. Wayne Dyer books being that he was in a foster home himself and maybe that would give these kiddos hope.

I emailed Hay House that afternoon with my request. I didn't get a response at all. I thought it was strange that no one would even send me a note to tell me that they received my email.

Thankful for Hay House

I got a phone call yesterday morning from Denver CASA asking me if I knew anything about the books that they received from Hay House. I all but jumped out of my seat. Hay House had donated 35 Dr. Dyer books as well as 96 journals. I was floored! It was such an amazing donation and so very appreciated!

As I thought more about it, I realized it was the way Wayne Dyer would have liked it. No need for a big fuss telling me they received the email or that they were thinking about it or that they were sending books. Instead the books just showed up 10 days after I sent the email without the need to acknowledge anything.

Wayne Dyer: The Ultimate Inspiration!

Wayne Dyer was such an inspiration to all. I have read many of his books, I have gifted some, I've read them to my children, to my husband, I've listened to his lectures on DVD and so much more. He truly was an amazing human being who just keeps on giving. Even after his death, he keeps on giving.

I don't doubt for a moment that he was the one to give me the message during my meditation. Did I get a little to woowoo for you there? It's OK, as Wayne says, "Expand a little" He used that during his lectures to get the audience to move out of there comfort zone a touch so as to grow. I use that with my family all the time.

I've been inspired all over with receiving this generous donation from Hay House. I ended up sending a couple more emails out last night from various organizations to see if they would donate towards the back to school drive as well. I hope we get backpacks filled with essentials as well as fun things to have!

My wish for every child

I pray that the child who reads any of these books realizes that there's always hope. I pray that they feel safe. I pray they realize someone out there is always thinking about them and working towards their well being and safety. I pray they find stability in their lives. My promise is that I will always try to help in any way I can.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please leave a comment below, on Facebook or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

Do what you can and leave the rest to God

CASA Denver is a wonderful organization! Basically, it's a not for profit organization that advocates for children in the foster care system. The volunteers also known as CASAs (Court Appointed Special Advocates) are truly angels on Earth. 

I went to a breakfast called "Light of Hope" sponsored by CASA Denver a few years ago and was hooked. The speaker was the author of a book called, "Three Little Words". It was a life changing morning. I got on their newsletter list where they would ask for donations or toy drives for these kiddos. I called the director and offered to host a toy drive at my home. She loved the idea. Basically the rest of the love story is history. 

A morning of giving

I usually make a brunch or lunch and invite my friends and their friends over for a wonderful morning together. The first two that my mother and I hosted together, we asked for people to bring toys for any age. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of those who attended and those who did not. I feel like we collected over 200 toys between the first two years.

We were unable to host a toy drive this year before the holidays so we decided to host a back to school and hygiene essentials drive. CASA Denver hosts a picnic in the summer where they present every child they serve with a backpack filled with school essentials as well as a hygiene pack. The hygiene pack will have items such as toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and so on. These kids tend to move around a lot and having their own hygiene packs is essential. 

We had the party yesterday morning and again the generosity of what showed up was amazingly overwhelming. As of today, 44 backpacks have been donated, 38 of which are filled with all the school supplies and hygiene packs necessary. We were also able to give a bunch of hygiene essentials to CASA Denver so that they could satisfy the needs when they come up.

Emotional Roller Coaster

The coordinator for CASA Denver was there yesterday and she shared how our donations were going to children who really are in need and appreciative of anything they are given. She shared stories of hope and stories that were heartbreaking. 

It as a very moving morning filled with hope and sadness. Our heart breaks for any child in need of an advocate, yet we are grateful for the amazing volunteers who generously donate their time to these kids. We are in awe of these amazing kids and their resiliency! At the same time, our hearts break for what they have to go through. 

My one wish

After the party was over and the house was cleaned up, I started thinking about how and what I could do more. I wanted to run out to the store and fill another 10 backpacks, I wanted to organize the summer picnic and the holiday party, I wanted to become a CASA. My mind was going in all different directions until I realized that what I really wanted out of this whole thing was for this need to not be a need. 

I would love more than anything else for every child to be safe and taken care of. I would love for every child to feel that they are loved and worthy. I realized that at this moment in time, that was impossible. As I am tucking my children in their beds, unfortunately some child out there is not having that same luxury. It’s sad. Just very very sad. 

Turn it over

I had to remind myself of my mom’s favorite saying, “Do what you can and leave the rest to God.” Truly very wise words. At this point in my life, I cannot commit to becoming a CASA and being able to advocate for a child. I have to turn it over to a higher being and for now, pray for their well-being while doing what I can when I can. I encourage anyone reading this post to look up their local CASA chapter to learn more about this truly wonderful organization! Maybe if each of us helped just a little, we could change the world one day at a time. That would be my dream. 

I didn't say yes

For those of you who know me, you know how much I struggle with saying no. I used to volunteer for everything but recently I've limited it to things I really enjoy however that still is a whole lot of things!

Depleted but don't know why?

When you are a person who is always willing to say yes, you may find yourself depleted with no idea why. I found myself in that mode a few years back. My boys were little and I had barely anytime to do the things I really enjoyed doing because I was always busy taking care of everything else.

I decided to try something new. Instead of saying yes right away, I would give myself 24 hours to think about it. That truly has been a game changer. Allowing myself 24 hours to digest whether I really have time for something or I really want to do something has cut back on at least half the activities where I would be giving of myself.

What if I really want to do something but the timing isn't right?

Today, I was challenged yet another way. We were in our parent association meeting. The topic of parent education was brought up and the administration person was asking for volunteer help to put it together. This is something that is very near to my heart. When I was chair of our parent association a few years ago (the two years I was pregnant with my daughter and until she was one - perfect timing, right?) I put together a year's worth of parent education classes and loved every minute of it. It would have been so easy for me to say yes to being on this task force. I decided to take a moment and not put my name down right away.

I realize now, hours later, that I made the right decision but not volunteering for it right away. I'm on two committees at school already and that occupies a lot of my time. I realized that I want to branch out and help Denver CASA more in the next few months, an impossibility with my daughter going to school only 16 hours a week unless I don't take on anything else. Denver CASA is an organization that advocates for children in the foster care system. Truly an amazing group of people.

Balance brings on a sense of peace

I feel that finding a balance in everything that you do is huge. Knowing when to give and when to hold back is an art. An art that I am constantly learning how to manage. My tendency is to say yes first and think about it later. I'm trying to reverse that. Today I was able to and it really brought me such a sense of peace.

I trust that the parent education task force is going to do an amazing job and I will make the time to attend those classes without the stress of having put them together.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you set your boundaries! Always willing to learn new tricks :)

Breathe in peace, breathe out stress

My 10 year old is a super sensitive little guy. He takes on the emotion of anything and everything around him. He can't watch sad movies, read scary books or really deal with a whole lot that involves sadness. He is an empath to the nth degree. We love that about him. We love that he is the sweetest little boy. We love that our friends will say, "If you have a problem with Zack, then you're the one with the problem." He is just a great kid who doesn't have any intention of ever hurting anyone's feelings.

We are just energy beings 

He came to me one night when it was bedtime with tears in his eyes. His words were, "Mom, I just feel so bad" however he couldn't tell me why. I knew that he was just taking on everyone's energy on from the day. I used to be that way when I was a kid. I never really knew how to not take on other people's emotions until I went through the spiritual program with my teacher where I learned how to set boundaries for myself and realize what's mine and what's not.

I teach people all the time how to do that now. I say, "Imagine your energy being pink and everyone else's blue. Your energy is about an arm's length around your body. You leave the house with only pink energy and come home with that energy pink. You don't leave any pink spots behind and you don't walk in with any blue." It's a visual to keep in mind to stay intact. Being empathetic is very different than taking on someone else's energy. You're not doing anyone any favors by taking on their issues. As a matter of fact, you may be depriving them of an opportunity to help themselves.

Breathing meditation 

Back to my son and his anxiety. I decided that I would experiment with my son by doing some breathing exercises. We sat on the bed together and started to do deep breaths together. I said to him, "Breathe in peace, breathe out sadness, breathe in happiness, breathe out anxiety, breathe in calm, breathe out what doesn't serve your body ... " We did this for about 2-3 minutes. I asked him if he felt better and he said he did.

A few days later, he said to me that he's been doing the breathe exercises every single day and he's been feeling better. I was so happy to hear it and somewhat surprised that he'd been practicing on his own. I have been saying recently that my goal for the next year is to learn how to teach kids to meditate.

An hour a week will change the world 

I had heard the Dali Lama say that if every child over the age of five meditated for one hour a week, all violence would be eliminated in a generation. Now that's powerful! I help my kids meditate or do little guided meditations like this all the time. I can't say every story is as successful as this one or that they stick with it daily but I keep at it.

I would love to hear about your mediation techniques! 

Gratitude for the Grind

We have been fortunate enough to be able to rent a place in the mountains the month of January and put our older two kids in ski school the past couple of years. A lot of times, I have a hard time with the whole routine. Getting everyone's gear, get them ready, make a hearty breakfast, bring the breakfast to the mountains, make sure I didn't forget the syrup or bacon or whatever, clean after breakfast, get the boys to ski school, OMG someone forgot their ski coat in Denver and the list goes on.

Really, we are still dealing with this?

After the boys are on the mountain, we have to switch gears and get the four year old motivated to get on the mountain. Normally, I go ski with the other parents whose kids are in ski school and my husband takes her but today I decided I would help him get her ready. It took a while before we got going. She had an itch in her ski pants, then the ski coat was bugging her, the helmet making her hot, the slope was too much for her to walk to the gondola ... It was an ordeal.

When we finally got to the gondola, I looked at my husband and said, "this is what ski school is for. She's our third, we should be over this by now." He refuses. He wants to teach her himself. He thinks he'll get her there faster.

He is right! I got on the lift with my baby and watched her ski the bunny hill beautifully. It gave me such a sense of joy that I forgot the entire getting there part. She was so excited to show me her moves and very proud of herself.

The reward

It got me thinking about the grind. Without the grind, we wouldn't get to the best part. It's not like the kids are going to self start and not complain. Eventually they do but those first few years are tough. That's only my perception though. If I could learn to take the small stuff in stride, life would be that much more fulfilling. The best gift I could have been given today was see my little four year old ski and end the day with my boys' ski instructors telling me how awesome they did today.

The routine is that on Sunday my husband goes with the boys and I hang with little sissy. I love hearing about my 10 year old skiing double black diamonds or my oldest skiing the moguls with amazing form. It's awesome and exactly what I wanted. I wouldn't have done anything different if I had to do it all over as is proof with the four year old.

Gratitude for all that is 

I am in gratitude for being fortunate enough to live in Colorado, fortunate to have a husband who loves the outdoors and always willing to help with the kids, fortunate to have an amazing ski mountains within two hours of our home, fortunate to have great friends to ski the day with, fortunate for the hot tub that soaks all my sore muscles, I am in gratitude for the morning grind that gets us to the afternoon state of bliss and so much more!

I love the teachings of Abraham. I listen to Ester Hicks all the time. She channels their teachings. My favorite is the following quote, "first find what makes you really, really happy and the rest will follow." Skiing makes me happy! I hope you find your bliss in your daily life. It may take the grind but it's always there for us to enjoy!

To meditate or to meditate ... incorporating it into daily life

I have started this year off on the right foot! I have been meditating on a daily basis for the past few months actually. It started back in August when my daughter turned four. Magic happens when kids turn four. They no longer are a total walking catastrophe waiting to happen and parents tend to relax a little.

Why so complicated?

The benefits of meditating have always been forefront in my mind but I wasn't able to carve out the time for a proper meditation on a daily basis. I decided to lighten it up and meditate when I can and on the go at times. I started to turn the radio off in my car, or I would fold laundry in silence rather than talking on the phone and so on. I listen to Deva Premal's song "Gate, Gate" at least one time a day when I'm sitting in the lotus position or laying on my bed. That song seeps deep into my soul!

As synchronicity would have it, I ended up in a float tank for an hour. That was an amazing experience. Laying in a bath of epsom salts, allows your body to go into a deep, deep relaxation and clarity of what's coming next for you is possibly. If you have the opportunity to treat yourself to an hour float, I highly recommend it.

What Would Wayne Do?

Ever since Dr. Wayne Dyer passed away, I have been trying to be more mindful in everything I do. I came up with WWWD (What Would Wayne do?) for every uncomfortable situation I find myself in. I have chosen to be kind than right over many a situation. I find that meditating on a constant basis allows me the compassion and grace to react to situations in that way.

I am constantly striving to learn more so I'm going to learn about Transcendental Meditation in a few weeks and then off to the Chopra Center for an entire mediation weekend. I can hardly wait!

In the light of learning more, please share with me your daily meditation experience and what it has done for you. 

Stay calm and label

Last night we had a fabulous block party. We were among five families who planned a party where our street was blocked off and the neighborhood was invited to come share food and drink. What a wonderful community event it was.

The after party ended up at our house. We have two “Right to Know” signs in our yard. For those not familiar with that phrase I will explain. Colorado has an initiative on the ballot this year called proposition 105 also known as our right to know, label genetically modified foods. If it passes certain food items will need to be labeled that they are made with GMOs.

What? Someone voted no!

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about it last night. He voted no on the proposition. To me it seems obvious that the minimum requirement is our right to know what is in our food.

I realized that our challenge as proponents of this proposition is to inform our friends and family in a way that makes sense to them. I asked him how I would do that. I had a moment where I lost hope. If I couldn’t explain to him why he needed to vote yes on what is a very basic human right, then how would we ever put the genie back in the bottle?!

Me, not calm? What are you talking about?

My husband was at a conference a few weeks ago where he heard Hillary Clinton give a speech. She said something along the lines of, “When you want to explain your view to another person, you really need to take into consideration both sides of the story.” My husband told me that he thought about me at that moment because I am very rational and reasonable about everything I talk about except GMOs. He asked me why.

Honestly, the answer is that I feel we are part of this massive human experiment that we had no say in whatsoever. I watched GMO OMG the other day and the very best quote in that movie for me was, “Where’s the outrage?” Agreed!! Where is the outrage?

David Suzuki sums it all up in 5 minutes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mBF1OOPdTo

I admit that while I am writing this blog, my blood pressure is rising a little bit. I had to take a moment away and breathe deeply. I just wonder if we are too trusting of our government and we shouldn’t be.

Last night, there was absolutely no way you could have avoided genetically modified ingredients. Kit Kats, Snickers, Twizlers, Laffy Taffy … all made with genetically modified ingredients.

Voting with my dollars - Organic all the way!

Of course, I did not hand out any of that stuff. From my 11 year old son, “Mom! Are we going to be the boring family that hands our organic lollipops?!!” Yes we are and yes we did. Organic lollipops, Organic Sweet Tarts and Organic gummy bears were in my Halloween basket.

I am voting with my dollars! I pray that you do too. My friend and I agreed that he would watch GMO OMG and we would get together and discuss it afterwards.  

 

I would love to hear from you too! Comment, email (mary@marysalfi.com) or Facebook.

My top five

My family and I went up skiing this past weekend. We had a great time but then on the way back we got stuck in the most horrendous traffic. It took us eight hours to get from Beaver Creek to Denver! 

During the drive, I had a lot of time to think. We started talking about all the issues that I am constantly posting about on Facebook. I came up with my top five environmental issues that are keeping me up at night. 

Trans Pacific Partnership

The secrecy of this trade agreement has me very worried. The TPP as it's know is a trade agreement between the United States, Australia, Brunei Darussalam, Canada, Chile, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, New Zealand, Peru, Singapore and Vietnam. 

The following sentence describing the treaty doesn't sit well with me, "The treaty has 29 chapters, dealing with everything from financial services to telecommunications to sanitary standards for food." Wait a minute! Allowing other governments into our domestic policies and food standards is not something I'd like to sign up for.

It is our job to be informed about this trade agreement and get to a point where we accept it because it makes sense to us or reject it because it is not in our favor. Either way, having it remain a secret is not a good sign!

Genetically Modified Ingredients

Of course, this is one of my biggest concerns so it was going to make my top 5. While in the mountains this weekend, everywhere I looked, I saw genetically modified foods. We stopped for hot chocolate and s'mores at one point during our ski day. Normally, I don't allow my kids any of that stuff but honestly there was no avoiding it. My boys were hungry and cold so we had to stop. 

I thought about all the people in that restaurant. So if they were or were not informed about genetically modified ingredients, their choices were the same. Only GM foods were available to them. When did we get here and how is this acceptable to everyone?

Fukushima 

I don't even know how to describe this one because I am still in the process of learning about it. Some sites say that the radiation will reach the coast of California and it will be very dangerous. Others claim that you can swim of the coast of Fukushima and eat fish from the Pacific. The jury is still out. I need to learn more. 

Clean drinking water

Again, I am in the process of learning the effects of adding fluoride to our drinking water. Is it safe? Is it necessary? What are the side effects? What else is being added to the water? and why? 

Atrazine has found it's way into our drinking water. Look it up and get horrified! It's just not acceptable. 

Clean Energy

Keystone XL and fracking is what we came up with here.  Why can't we focus our efforts on creating clean energy? We are a country of geniuses yet we are constantly damaging our environment. Can't we find a better way that is more in harmony with the Earth?

It doesn't stop here ...

I am of course failing to mention the petition I just signed for Subway to remove Azodicarbonamide from their bread or the one I signed to maintain net neutrality (can you imagine that?!). I am not mentioning all the chemicals found in every day soaps, shampoos and toothpaste or the chlorine in baby wipes or the harmful ingredients in detergents ... the list is endless. 

Sometimes I get so discouraged by all these things that we are facing and I just find it hopeless. However, giving up is not who I am so I am constantly trying to raise awareness. 

Help in any way you can

Please go to my Facebook page Earth Aware and start signing some petitions. I hope these posts and petitions are making a difference!

Mary
 

Peyton Manning ... Enough Said!

Peyton Manning ... need I say more! What an incredible man. I would have loved to have him crown his amazing season with a Super Bowl win but at this point I could care less about that. 

This is a man of incredible character and as a Denver resident, I could not be more proud of how he carries himself through his wins and losses. Maybe the reason we don't get so carried away with it all is because he doesn't seem to get carried away. This is a season where he broke so many records, some that were his own, yet you never saw him waver from the stand up man that he is. Win or lose, Peyton Manning is a winner.

Richard Sherman said it best in a tweet, "Peyton is the Classiest person/player I have ever met! I could learn so much from him! Thank you for being a great Competitor and person." 

Incredible Role Model

I have two boys, ages ten and eight, who love every sport out there but especially football. Mothers, like myself, love having a quarterback like Peyton Manning playing the game as a role model for our boys.

We say things to our kids like, "Did Peyton Manning give up after his neck injury or did he go out there and try his best and ultimately win the AFC championship and take his team to the Super Bowl?" or we'll say, "What a great guy Peyton Manning is. Although he is super disappointed with that loss, he acknowledged his teammates as being a great football team and working hard to get to this point." 
 
Character is key

I am reading an amazing book called "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character" by Paul Tough. I am only about a third of the way through but it has made me think a lot about what I am teaching my kids and what is truly important as far as academics go. 

What I have thought about the most is how to develop character in my children. How to make sure that when the going gets somewhat tough, they can rise to the challenge and not give up as easily as they'd like to?

Grit, what an amazingly descriptive word. How do I develop grit in my sons and daughter? How do I enable them to succeed in a world that will definitely present challenges to them. 

Maybe Peyton's parents could offer some advice.

I'll bet they are proud! 

I think it's safe to say that most parents would love to see their child succeed at their job and Manning has definitely done that. However, I would venture to guess that his parents are probably most proud of the man he is. 

I certainly would rather see my son be a role model to all regardless of the outcome. I believe that is the definition of a winner.

Peyton Manning, keep up the great work! I am certainly looking forward to all the great things you will do next season! 

Thoughts you'd like to share

I'd love to hear from you. You may leave a comment below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or find me on Facebook by becoming a fan of marysalfi.com. 

Go Broncos!

Mary