Reinventing myself!

I have three beautiful children ages 13, 11 and 4. Before my life as a mom, I worked as an engineer for T-Mobile. It was by far my favorite job of anything I had done before.

When my oldest was born I couldn't see myself leaving him 10 hours a day to go to work. I called my husband to tell him I was quitting one afternoon to which he answered, "I knew that was coming. I was waiting for you to come to that conclusion on your own."

I've done a few things during my stay at home mom time such as intuitive readings, writing this blog and teaching classes. I did most of that before my 4 year old was born. It was super satisfying to be interacting with the world that way.

I slowed down so much after my youngest was born mostly because I couldn't keep my house in order to have people over for classes and readings. Those of you with multiple kids know it's next to impossible to keep the house picked up!

Time to get back into something 

Last year, I was complaining to my husband that I was bored and I was ready to start working again. Being a Law of Attraction gal, I made sure that I followed it up with all the requirements of this job. I wanted a job that was part-time, flexible, made decent money and was in-line with my beliefs or better.

Those of you who are familiar with the Law of Attraction know to always end it with "or better" You want your manifestation at least as good as you imagined it to be or if the Universe wants to deliver something better then you'll take it!

Back in November, my husband called me on his was to work to say that he thought he had a great job idea for me. He just heard on the radio an ad for healthy vending machines and thought it was a great opportunity for me. I thought he was nuts so I hung up the phone and didn't think anything of it until February when the ad for these machines popped up on my newsfeed.

Something caught my attention at that moment and so I decided to pursue it to see what I found out. The more I looked into it, the more I realized that this would be a perfect adventure for me. I am known as the totally organic, non-GMO lady amongst my friends. I am extremely passionate about our food and the quality of it. Buying healthy vending machines would allow me the flexibility I wanted while working in something I was passionate about.

Mary's Healthy Snacks!

I am happy to say that as I write this post, I am in Utah for two days getting trained on how to work my new healthy vending machines. I hope to find locations for them soon and get to work.

I'm excited to work at something that is so flexible that it'll allow me the opportunity to be with my kids whenever it's needed. I'm excited to be able to pick the snacks and drinks that go into the machines. I will not vend anything that I won't feed my own family. I'm excited that I'll be making money again.

Wish me luck with my new adventure! I hope you get a chance to see one of my machines in action and let me know what you think :)

Super excited!
Mary 

Making a Book out of his Page

I have a friend who is a stay at home dad. Technically his job description and mine are the same. I take my job a lot more seriously though. 

Taking a book out of his page 

I was telling a mutual friend of ours that I'm going to take a book out of his page. Of course, I meant to say a page out of his book but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was right the first time. 

I saw him the other day sitting out on his front porch reading a newspaper. It was a Tuesday at like 11:30 am. It was the perfect sunny day to do just that. Of course, I was only able to quickly glance at what he was doing because I was speeding off to fulfill my never-ending to do list. 

Just to prove my own point. I started writing this post at 7:45 am and I'm currently writing at 8:50 pm. What keeps me so busy anyway? Today as an example, I was running from one errand to the next. When would it be a good time to just sit down and read a newspaper?

Change is not easy 

The last real job I had was designing cell phone sites for T-Mobile. I loved that job. It was fun and very rewarding. A few months into the job, I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. I quit my job 10 days after he was born. Never did I think I wouldn't work but here I was thinking to myself that I couldn't leave this tiny baby. 

I remember never taking a break when he was an infant. No matter how many people would say to me to sleep or rest when he did, I couldn't. I was always busy with something that seemed important at the time. 

I have gotten better over the years where I sometimes will nap or rest during the day for 15 minutes. I am in a good habit of meditating as well. I am definitely not to the point of just sitting down in the middle of the day without having the purpose of resting for a few minutes before going to pick up my kids from school and driving them to all their activities. 

Nothing to do 

We rented a condo the month of January in Keystone this past winter. The absolute best thing about it was that the day I wasn't skiing, there was nothing for me to do other than to read a book or relax in some way. If I were at home, I'd be cleaning out closets or rearranging the pantry or reorganizing my pictures or the multitude of other things I would think of doing. 

I'm going to make the effort to sit like my neighbor did just for the fun of it. I am going to take a page out of his book and turn it into my own book. I am going to read my magazine or book or whatever and just enjoy the sunshine. Now if it would quit snowing and raining in Denver, I could get on with my promise to myself! 

Thoughts ...

I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

When life is good, it's just good

My 11 year old son Zack plays on a competitive soccer team. The club he plays for has five different levels for competitive soccer. They go from Academy, Burgundy, White, Blue and Gold with A and B teams in every level as well.

He went through tryouts last May and made the White team. All of his teammates at the time made either Burgundy or Academy. Needless to say he was fairly disappointed but being the mild natured kid that he is, he made new friends on his new team and started having a ton of fun.

Yesterday, after practice he told me that he was feeling sad that two of his teammates are potentially moving up to the Burgundy level. He felt like he wanted that opportunity as well.

When life is good ...

At this moment in time, life is pretty good for a little boy name Zack in the world of sports. He plays on a super fun soccer team where he plays on the field and as a goalie. He is on a baseball team with quite a few of his friends from the neighborhood. My husband coaches his flag football team. There are 10 kids on the team all of which are his friends. He plays tennis with two of his best buddies.

My answer to the sadness was, "Zack when life is good, it's just good" and I went on to explain to him how it was great for him right now with all his sports. I told him that if he wanted to play at that higher soccer level, he might have to give up some of the other sports to focus on his ball skills. He also would not be given the opportunity to play in the field as well as in the goal because at the higher level they don't allow them to do that.

I told him that I was fully confident that he could make the higher team if he practiced every day and put his mind to it. Now the big question, "Are you willing to do that?" The answer of course, was no.

Zack's entire mood changed after our conversation and he said that I was right and that he really was happy and content with all that he had going now.

Be careful what you pray for ... you might just get it

I read a book a while back with the title, "Be Careful What you Pray for, you Might just get it" I remember that book anytime I'm in a situation where I want something other than what I have at the moment and ask myself "Is that really what I want or is life pretty good now?"

Anytime I feel like I wish I had more money like that guy or I wish as was as thin as that woman or I wish I was as tall as that person ..  I ask myself if I would trade places with that person. If I am not willing to trade places and take the whole package as it is, I realize that my life is exactly where I want it to be at the moment and everything is good. If I do a check and realize it's not good, then I make different choices so that the outcome looks different.

Thoughts ...

I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Ronald McDonald House Breakfast

My friend and I volunteered to make a breakfast for Ronald McDonald House of Aurora yesterday. It was truly a life-changing morning. Ronald McDonald House offers a place for families to stay while their children are undergoing treatment at the hospital.

It was a family affair

Children over the age of 13 are welcome to help with the meal as well. Her husband and two older boys, my husband and oldest son and the two of us cooked a breakfast yesterday morning. I was so nervous about the whole thing. I have the weakest heart when it comes to children with illnesses. I just can't take it. I hate to hear of any child suffering in any way.

Regardless, I woke up at 5 am to get myself organized to get to the house by 6 am so that we can be ready to serve by 9 am. As soon as I walked through the double doors and saw a wheelchair, I was thinking to myself I shouldn't have signed up for this. I just can't deal.

Thankfully my friend showed up just a few minutes after I did and talked me off the ledge. My instruction was to think of it as a breakfast party. I love parties so that was a good solution. I made gluten free muffins, waffle batter and home-made whipped cream while she cut up fruit and started on the egg casseroles. Her husband and two boys showed up a little later along with my husband and son. We were all busy getting ready for game time.

My 13 year old and her 14 year old were in charge of the waffles. They served them up like champs. Her 17 year old was amazing! He helped make sausage and bacon, helped serve bagels and donuts and is if that wasn't enough started socializing with the families when they came in.

The stories 

I told my friend that she was better at socializing in this scenario than I was and that she should take her food and go sit with the woman who was holding a baby. I stayed tucked into the kitchen frying bacon so that I wouldn't have to hear of children with cancer.

Sure enough the woman with a baby has an eight year old girl with brain cancer. I wanted to cry at that moment. I just really didn't want that child or parent or sibling to be struggling with that. The daughter is expected to be fine thank God but still I didn't want to hear it.

Story after story came, the five year old with leukemia, the baby in utero who needs a heart transplant, the grandma talking about the twins who are in treatment. Yet these people had smiles on their faces and were beyond grateful for the simple meal we provided for them. They were gracious and kind and appreciative for all that was there. They all were trying to make the best out of the situation they were in.

Grateful for our health and all that is

I started to think about my life and how blessed I am for all that is. I had to leave Ronald McDonald house by 11 am so that we could get our son to his soccer game at 12:30. I thought about all the kids on the soccer field and how lucky they all were to be free of burden and to just have the opportunity to play. I thought about all the trivial stuff we stress about and how trivial it really is when we talk to a parent who has a child undergoing chemotherapy.

My prayers were to Archangel Raphael last night for a complete recovery for every child with any illness that we encountered yesterday. The five year old boy with leukemia was the cutest kid we've ever seen. Happy and bubbly yet going through so much. He's such a brave little guy with such a big dharma. I am positive he will overcome his illness and proceed to change the world with his precious smile.

Please help if you can

Our book club is going to cook dinner for Ronald McDonald House instead of meeting to discuss a book this month. I'm excited to go back again and do the little bit I can to ease the burden of what these families are going through. I can't say that I'm going to be any better at hearing the stories. I'll send my friend to do that while I try my best to keep it together.

If you and your friends have an opportunity to make a meal or donate to this charity in any way, it'll really be life-changing for you and a huge help to them! Donating something as simple as paper towels would be very much appreciated. Find your local Ronald McDonald House by following this link: http://www.rmhc.org

I'd love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Weekly Intentions

My friend and I have been sending each other an intention for the week since the beginning of the year. Every Monday morning I send her a text with my intention for the week and I get hers. I didn’t realize how amazing of a ritual that was going to be.

Intention ideas 

Our intention may be something along the lines of “My intention for the week is self care” or “This week I am going to set my boundaries better” or “I am going to eat super clean this week with no sugar consumption at all” or “I am going to meditate every day” and so on. Those were texts I have actually sent.

Now that we are 3 months into the year, I find myself thinking about my intention on Sunday afternoon. It has become something I look forward to doing for myself. Sharing it with a friend gives it that extra commitment level. I have to say it has worked! 

Operating outside of my body

My kids and I were in Florida last week for Spring break. My husband couldn’t come with us because he had to work. That’s an overrated activity if I had to say anything about it :) 

Anyway, although I traveled with my friend and her family and they were super helpful with my kids, I was still ON all the time. I was so overstimulated by the time we got home. I sent her my intention on Sunday night and it read, “My intention for this week is to meditate twice a day. I’m so overstimulated, I feel like I’m operating outside of my body.”

I have meditated every day so far and I feel like I’m settled so much better now. I am so much calmer with my kids and family. 

Balance is key

As a mother of three children, I feel like I am constantly outputting. My husband has a very demanding job that requires him to travel or work long hours while he is at home. The majority of the home life falls on my shoulders.  I find that the weekly intention has forced me to shift my focus on what's important or necessary for me to do to achieve a balanced feeling. 

We tend to forget what's important for us to maintain sanity. We are constantly running from one activity to another especially if we have kids. Life has become so hectic that slowing down and figuring out what's important to us is extremely necessary.

I would love to hear from you! You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com

Am I Ever in that Picture?

I have been in Florida all week on vacation. I am here with my kids, my friend and her family. We are staying with my brother and his family. We were supposed to come with my husband as well. A blizzard hit the day we were leaving, we had to cancel our flight for that day, leave a few days afterwards and push back our return. He couldn't be away from work the following week so he ended up staying back.

It's a legit excuse 

The reason for this whole explanation is to tell you that I'm alone with the three children. I'm trying to justify why for the whole week I was here I am in maybe four or five pictures. I read an article not too long ago that this person wrote about her mom. I believe her mother had passed away and she was showing her kids their grandmother's pictures.

She mentioned that there never was a shortage of pictures her mother was in. Here she was laying in the sun, here she was playing tennis, here she was building sandcastles and so on. The mom was always in the memory not preserving the memory without participating in it.

Participating in the moment?

I have been thinking about that a lot since I read that article. I take a LOT of pictures. I would say I am in less than 10% of them. I've certainly started to question why that is. Why am I never in the Easter coloring pictures, or Christmas cookie making or whatever memory I for sure preserve. They will NEVER see a picture of me on the beach because I have yet to lose those 10 pounds or 5 or whatever. I have to be in better clothes or my hair isn't perfect.

My dad passed away quite a few years ago. I wanted to put all the pictures we had of him in one album. I cherished every picture I found. I did't care if he looked overweight, if his hair was grey, if his smile wasn't perfect ... I didn't see any of his flaws. I'm sure he had them but to me he was perfect.

It's time to be in that picture!

I have been better since making an effort but I'm still far from being good. This whole week I could have been much better. I had a picture from when I first gave birth to my oldest son who is now 13! I can't believe how time flies.

Anyway, since having my first child, I don't think I've ever felt fit again. I'm always working on at least 5 pounds. I looked back at that picture not too long ago and couldn't see what I was feeling at the time. I looked fine, I was healthy and I was happy. What more could I have asked for in a moment?

I'd love to hear from you. Let me know how you deal with patience and time. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

The other side of the story ...

We have family dinners a few times a week. It’s so nice for all of us to sit around the table, eat together and share the events of the day. I found that my kids tend to share things that are bothering them in this setting more than any other time.

My younger son who is almost 11 is in fifth grade. I didn’t realize how big of a year it was for foul language and boundary testing this has been for him and his class. I believe it’s mostly the boys in that class that use all sorts of colorful language. It may be the girls as well but I'm not sure. Either way, it's definitely been an eye opener and jaw dropper!

A little situation 

The other day, my son was playing soccer with his buddies at recess. He got into an altercation with one of his classmates. The language that commenced was so out of the context of a fifth grader that I ended up calling the other parent about the situation. The mom was so distraught by her son’s language that I found myself consoling her about the whole thing. 

A few days later she called me back to tell me my son’s role in the whole thing. He had defintiely been less than noble in his behavior as well. You could technically argue that my son was more at fault for his behavior and the other kid was just reacting to what he was faced with. 

How quick we are to judge 

I found myself thinking about judgment. How quick we are to pass judgment on a situation without knowing the full story. There are always two sides to every story and we would really benefit from hearing all sides before making a judgment. I ended up feeling so bad for the other kid after hearing his version. Had I not had the courage to call the other parent, I probably would still not know the story and would be mad at the other kid for what he said. 

I talked to my son about it and he never talked about what he himself did wrong. I don’t think because he didn’t want to own it, rather because he forgot what he did. I thought about how often we do that in situations as well. We feel that we have been wronged and that we didn’t contribute in any way to the argument or misunderstanding. 

It's always more important to be kind 

The mom and I got to a really good place with the situation ultimately. I talked to my son about being mindful of his behavior and to be inclusive. She was going to help her son figure out how to stand up for himself without resorting to such terrible language. She ended up thanking me for reaching out to her. 

I find that I wish I had done that more over the years. Its so hard to call someone and talk about misunderstandings. I talk to my kids about Dr. Wayne Dyer and his teachings all the time. One of my favorite of his quotes are, “It’s more important to be kind than to be right.” What a beautiful statement. If we could only approach every situation with that attitude!

I'd love to hear from you. Let me know how you deal with patience and time. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

Just wait a minute

I've been thinking about the concept of time lately. My daughter will be five in August. Five!! I can't believe how fast time is going by. The other day I was thinking about the time period I had all those miscarriages. Within two years, I had three miscarriages. The last miscarriage I had was about two years before my daughter was born.

Was it really a big deal? 

A really good friend of mine had her daughter the year I had my last miscarriage. My daughter and hers play together all the time now. The two year difference between them is truly a non-issue. They play beautifully together, making up all sorts of princess games then go out to the trampoline then color and so on.

I started to think about my patience or I should say lack of. The two years that I was so in my head about are only a blip on continuum of time. If you were to really get woowoo about it, there is no continuum of time, there's only now. If there's only now then nothing is more important or more of a big deal then what you have going on at this moment. So how about taking a deep breath and dealing with now instead of constantly worrying or stressing about that future event.

I've always asked myself the question of, "Will that matter in six months?" to take away the possibility of making a mole hill into a mountain. I'm not belittling the experience of having a miscarriage or three for that matter, but if I had known at the time that all will be OK and that in less than two years, I'd be holding a beautiful baby in my arms, maybe I would have dealt with things differently.

Faith .. it's everything!

A really good friend of mine would like to quit her job so that she can be with her kids more. We've been talking about her doing that for over two years now. It's a struggle for sure. Yesterday I told her that maybe what she ought to do is just quit and have faith that all will be OK. Have faith that the difference in income will be met easily and that the time she gets to spend with her kids won't come at a price.

I'm really good at giving the advice you see :) I truly believe that the reason I had three miscarriages was because I lacked patience and faith. I didn't give myself a chance to heal whether it be physically or emotionally.

I was so caught up in having that perfect age difference between my kids that I didn't think of anything else. Now I look at my three children and I think the age difference is perfect. It was always going to be perfect regardless of when she was born. I didn't trust that all will be well. I was going to push through and force the pregnancy dammit!

All is well

It truly all changed when I took a step back and allowed myself time to heal. I took some time to enjoy the kids I had, to travel with them, to get my body back, to heal my emotions. I knew when the time was right to try again and only then was it a success.

I love the quote, "If you only say one prayer a day then let it be thank you". How awesome is that. Be in gratitude for all that is when it shows up. Have faith and trust in that higher power. It's always taking care of you, maybe better than you would take care of yourself.

I'd love to hear from you! Let me know how you deal with patience and time. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

Meditate it out

Back in August of 2015, I began asking the Universe for signs of what was coming next for me. My youngest had just turned four and I felt like it was time to input back to the world. I didn't know what was in store for me but I was asking the questions. 

I kept getting the feeling to meditate and to meditate on a daily basis. I began looking for meditation retreats to jump start my practice again. I came across a 2 for 1 special for a meditation weekend at the Chopra Center in Carlsbad, California. I immediately bought the tickets knowing that I could easily find a friend to go with me. After all, I bought the tickets in November for a March event. 

Learning TM

In the meantime, as the universe works I started getting sponsored links for Transcendental Meditation (TM) on my Facebook newsfeed. This was in January. I started to look into it and decided to learn it and did in February. I took my first class on SuperBowl Sunday actually. 

The concept behind TM is that you sit comfortably for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening while repeating a mantra given to you by a TM teacher. The mind naturally is always trying to gravitate to its original form of bliss and calm. It is given that opportunity during TM therefore transcends to the purity of what it is. When you get out of meditation, the mind brings with it that calm into your everyday life. 

I decided I was going to give it a good try. Of all the meditation techniques I've tried, TM is by far the easiest. There's no struggle in it. If a thought comes during the mediation then gently go back to the mantra, if you hear noise no problem, if someone walks in on you treat it as an interruption and add 5 minutes to the end of your meditation.  It's a very free flowing easy meditation. I am loving it!

Chopra Center

I went to the Chopra Center this past weekend and was open minded to what they were going to teach. After all this was the year of the daily meditation as well as learning any technique that came my way. I would love to learn enough to be able to teach children and particularly teenagers how to meditate. 

I was amazed that they basically taught the same thing at the Chopra Center. There were very few differences. We were given what's called a Primordial Sound Mantra (PSM) and had to repeat it for 30 minutes twice a day. 

It's just a tool, find the one that works for you!

I approached one of the teachers after the class and asked if the Chopra Center was basically just teaching TM but calling it something different. Deepak Chopra had apparently studied with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guru who developed TM. The concept is the same but the mantras are different. TM calls is transcending, PSM calls it getting in the gap. TM asks for no more than 15-20 minutes, PSM says to meditate for 30 minutes. 

I started to think about it all and realized it's just a tool and thank goodness there are plenty of them to choose from. Try them all and practice what feels good to you. If meditation is not where you are right now, maybe do yoga. It doesn't matter. Just allowing yourself the time to just be is essential to our well-being. It was so nice to be surrounded by 100 people who just wanted to find a way to feel good. When we feel good, we are able to take that feel good into the world. 

Changes ...

I can definitely say that I am a lot calmer than a month ago. I definitely have gotten angry with situations but I have been able to work through them in a better way. Yesterday was a sticky day for me. I felt like I was running into an uncomfortable situation a little too often. I took a moment to realize that it's probably me and that I need to get to a better place. I meditated last night and then again this morning. It's helped to give me perspective into the situation. 

I found that my eating habits have changed as well. I'm not as eager to eat something that doesn't make me feel good. The whole time in California, I ate really well. Normally on vacation, I eat more fries or dessert but I found myself not wanting to do that. 

Share with me your thoughts

Let me know if you've been to the Chopra Center for a class or if you've practiced TM or if you have another meditation technique that you love. You may leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page marysalfi.com or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

To give him the phone or to not give him the phone?

I have an almost 13 year old son. Is that enough said? He is an extremely bright boy with a strong personality. He knows what he wants and will argue his point very intelligently. At times, I have to remind him that raising his voice doesn't make what he's saying have more weight but mostly he does make good points.

Are 12 and 13 year olds mature enough?

I have been avoiding giving him a phone for many, many reasons but most of which, I don't feel a 12 year old is fully capable of being responsible for an iPhone. I wouldn't mind him having a flip phone that he can text and call from but not a mini computer that gives him access to a world he may or may not be ready for.

He actually has a flip phone that he refuses to use because it's embarrassing amongst his friends for him to have such a substandard piece of equipment. I find the whole thing amusing. I get him all tied up talking about that. I say, "Are you the person who cares?" "Are you the person who wants a phone just to show off in front of your friends?" "If that's the only reason then that's even more reason to say no to the phone." I know that he does care, he does want a phone to belong and that I may say yes based on those previous statements. I was a teenager once too.

This is not a question of whether I trust him or not. He is super responsible. However, why tempt him with something that he doesn't need in his life right now? That's my struggle.

Am I good with him being one of the final few?

The problem is that he is one of the only few 7th graders who are without an iPhone. His latest argument is that he wants it to text, call, listen to music and google something such as the weight of a wrestler. I couldn't make that last one up even if I tried. I see his points in a lot of this.

My issue is not with these things, my issue is with social media. I feel that some adults aren't mature yet to be on social media let alone kids who have hormones raging in their system. I also feel like it's a productivity suck. I would rather he be outside playing tennis or shooting baskets instead of playing on his phone and that will eventually happen. It's happened to all of us. Whether we are checking email or Facebook or whatever, we are on our phones a good portion of our day.

What to do?

On the one hand, I wish I could just say no and move on. On the other hand, I feel I might be a bit unreasonable in my stance. I would love to get some advice on this. I've heard from several parents saying that they would have said no if they could do it over but then again are they taking that phone away?

Plenty of ways to share your thoughts: leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook page  marysalfi.com or send me an email to mary@marysalfi.com.