Thursday, February 25, 2016

How about working together instead?

If you are an American, you are probably watching or following the presidential race or at least getting some news about in your Facebook newsfeed or to your inbox or on your twitter account or some other form of social media. My point is that it's hard to miss it.

I subscribe to most politicians newsletters. I just want to see what they are thinking and what they are promising.  I'm not a person who is affiliated with any party and I will vote for the person who I think will do our country the most good. I would love to learn who they are to truly understand if they are someone I'd vote for.

Little did I know that might be an impossibility. I'd like for a politician to tell me what they will do as president NOT bash the other candidate. However that seems to be all they are doing in addition to of course bashing the president.

Is this really what we've become? 

Why have we gotten here? Why do we feel as a society that the only way to get ahead is to trample all over someone else? I would love to have a candidate stand up there and be respectful to the president, to his/her fellow candidates and to the opposing party.

What makes someone feel that if they are respectful and not nutty in their ideology no one will listen. Most of us are very reasonable people who want to live in a country where freedoms are afforded, where if you work hard you are rewarded and want to respect and be respected by our fellow human beings. It's not a lot to ask.

I have yet to watch a presidential debate without being embarrassed for the candidates. It's almost as if the candidate is on a mission during the debate to take on another candidate and expose his flaws. Why is that necessary? Why can't he just tell us what he'd like to do to move things in the right direction. What's wrong with working together? At the end of the day we are all Americans before we are republicans, democrats, liberals and so on.

Where's the reset button?

This system is flawed and it's time to fix it. At this point, I'd like a reset button and to start over. Not one of the current presidential candidates has earned my vote but most importantly my respect. I don't trust any of them. We have an entire system built on being deceitful. It's terrible and embarrassing. No one is perfect and everyone is flawed in one form or another. It's called being human. I'm OK with that. Now let's move on and let's work together as a country to make us better.

My friend said it best, "Is it possible for everyone to lose?" He of course meant the candidates but the truth is that we as citizens are losing. We are losing the battle of morality and humanity. At a minimum, I expect the person representing me to be able to act like an adult and to be respectful of another adult standing next to him. If he can't win without attacking another person's character, then I don't want him or her for that matter representing me.

Comments?

I'd love to hear them! Leave your comments below, email me to mary@marysalfi.com or on my Facebook page.







Thursday, February 18, 2016

So Thankful!

My last post was about helping Denver CASA with their back to school essentials drive. As I mentioned before, I love this organization. Giving a voice to children that may have none otherwise is tremendous. The drive brought in such generosity from my friends and family that the whole experience has been humbling. It's not over yet either, the donations are still coming!

Listening to my intuition 

I recently learned a new form of meditation called Transcendental Mediation. So far it has been amazing. My meditations are very deep and relaxing. During one of the recent meditations, I got a feeling to email Hay House to see if they would donate inspirational books appropriate for children under the age of 18. I specifically got the feeling to ask for Dr. Wayne Dyer books being that he was in a foster home himself and maybe that would give these kiddos hope.

I emailed Hay House that afternoon with my request. I didn't get a response at all. I thought it was strange that no one would even send me a note to tell me that they received my email.

Thankful for Hay House

I got a phone call yesterday morning from Denver CASA asking me if I knew anything about the books that they received from Hay House. I all but jumped out of my seat. Hay House had donated 35 Dr. Dyer books as well as 96 journals. I was floored! It was such an amazing donation and so very appreciated!

As I thought more about it, I realized it was the way Wayne Dyer would have liked it. No need for a big fuss telling me they received the email or that they were thinking about it or that they were sending books. Instead the books just showed up 10 days after I sent the email without the need to acknowledge anything.

Wayne Dyer: The Ultimate Inspiration!

Wayne Dyer was such an inspiration to all. I have read many of his books, I have gifted some, I've read them to my children, to my husband, I've listened to his lectures on DVD and so much more. He truly was an amazing human being who just keeps on giving. Even after his death, he keeps on giving.

I don't doubt for a moment that he was the one to give me the message during my meditation. Did I get a little to woowoo for you there? It's OK, as Wayne says, "Expand a little" He used that during his lectures to get the audience to move out of there comfort zone a touch so as to grow. I use that with my family all the time.

I've been inspired all over with receiving this generous donation from Hay House. I ended up sending a couple more emails out last night from various organizations to see if they would donate towards the back to school drive as well. I hope we get backpacks filled with essentials as well as fun things to have!

My wish for every child

I pray that the child who reads any of these books realizes that there's always hope. I pray that they feel safe. I pray they realize someone out there is always thinking about them and working towards their well being and safety. I pray they find stability in their lives. My promise is that I will always try to help in any way I can.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please leave a comment below, on Facebook or email me to mary@marysalfi.com 

Friday, February 12, 2016

Do what you can and leave the rest to God

CASA Denver is a wonderful organization! Basically, it's a not for profit organization that advocates for children in the foster care system. The volunteers also known as CASAs (Court Appointed Special Advocates) are truly angels on Earth. 

I went to a breakfast called "Light of Hope" sponsored by CASA Denver a few years ago and was hooked. The speaker was the author of a book called, "Three Little Words". It was a life changing morning. I got on their newsletter list where they would ask for donations or toy drives for these kiddos. I called the director and offered to host a toy drive at my home. She loved the idea. Basically the rest of the love story is history. 

A morning of giving

I usually make a brunch or lunch and invite my friends and their friends over for a wonderful morning together. The first two that my mother and I hosted together, we asked for people to bring toys for any age. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of those who attended and those who did not. I feel like we collected over 200 toys between the first two years.

We were unable to host a toy drive this year before the holidays so we decided to host a back to school and hygiene essentials drive. CASA Denver hosts a picnic in the summer where they present every child they serve with a backpack filled with school essentials as well as a hygiene pack. The hygiene pack will have items such as toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner and so on. These kids tend to move around a lot and having their own hygiene packs is essential. 

We had the party yesterday morning and again the generosity of what showed up was amazingly overwhelming. As of today, 44 backpacks have been donated, 38 of which are filled with all the school supplies and hygiene packs necessary. We were also able to give a bunch of hygiene essentials to CASA Denver so that they could satisfy the needs when they come up.

Emotional Roller Coaster

The coordinator for CASA Denver was there yesterday and she shared how our donations were going to children who really are in need and appreciative of anything they are given. She shared stories of hope and stories that were heartbreaking. 

It as a very moving morning filled with hope and sadness. Our heart breaks for any child in need of an advocate, yet we are grateful for the amazing volunteers who generously donate their time to these kids. We are in awe of these amazing kids and their resiliency! At the same time, our hearts break for what they have to go through. 

My one wish

After the party was over and the house was cleaned up, I started thinking about how and what I could do more. I wanted to run out to the store and fill another 10 backpacks, I wanted to organize the summer picnic and the holiday party, I wanted to become a CASA. My mind was going in all different directions until I realized that what I really wanted out of this whole thing was for this need to not be a need. 

I would love more than anything else for every child to be safe and taken care of. I would love for every child to feel that they are loved and worthy. I realized that at this moment in time, that was impossible. As I am tucking my children in their beds, unfortunately some child out there is not having that same luxury. It’s sad. Just very very sad. 

Turn it over

I had to remind myself of my mom’s favorite saying, “Do what you can and leave the rest to God.” Truly very wise words. At this point in my life, I cannot commit to becoming a CASA and being able to advocate for a child. I have to turn it over to a higher being and for now, pray for their well-being while doing what I can when I can. I encourage anyone reading this post to look up their local CASA chapter to learn more about this truly wonderful organization! Maybe if each of us helped just a little, we could change the world one day at a time. That would be my dream. 

Friday, February 5, 2016

I didn't say yes

For those of you who know me, you know how much I struggle with saying no. I used to volunteer for everything but recently I've limited it to things I really enjoy however that still is a whole lot of things!

Depleted but don't know why?

When you are a person who is always willing to say yes, you may find yourself depleted with no idea why. I found myself in that mode a few years back. My boys were little and I had barely anytime to do the things I really enjoyed doing because I was always busy taking care of everything else.

I decided to try something new. Instead of saying yes right away, I would give myself 24 hours to think about it. That truly has been a game changer. Allowing myself 24 hours to digest whether I really have time for something or I really want to do something has cut back on at least half the activities where I would be giving of myself.

What if I really want to do something but the timing isn't right?

Today, I was challenged yet another way. We were in our parent association meeting. The topic of parent education was brought up and the administration person was asking for volunteer help to put it together. This is something that is very near to my heart. When I was chair of our parent association a few years ago (the two years I was pregnant with my daughter and until she was one - perfect timing, right?) I put together a year's worth of parent education classes and loved every minute of it. It would have been so easy for me to say yes to being on this task force. I decided to take a moment and not put my name down right away.

I realize now, hours later, that I made the right decision but not volunteering for it right away. I'm on two committees at school already and that occupies a lot of my time. I realized that I want to branch out and help Denver CASA more in the next few months, an impossibility with my daughter going to school only 16 hours a week unless I don't take on anything else. Denver CASA is an organization that advocates for children in the foster care system. Truly an amazing group of people.

Balance brings on a sense of peace

I feel that finding a balance in everything that you do is huge. Knowing when to give and when to hold back is an art. An art that I am constantly learning how to manage. My tendency is to say yes first and think about it later. I'm trying to reverse that. Today I was able to and it really brought me such a sense of peace.

I trust that the parent education task force is going to do an amazing job and I will make the time to attend those classes without the stress of having put them together.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you set your boundaries! Always willing to learn new tricks :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Breathe in peace, breathe out stress

My 10 year old is a super sensitive little guy. He takes on the emotion of anything and everything around him. He can't watch sad movies, read scary books or really deal with a whole lot that involves sadness. He is an empath to the nth degree. We love that about him. We love that he is the sweetest little boy. We love that our friends will say, "If you have a problem with Zack, then you're the one with the problem." He is just a great kid who doesn't have any intention of ever hurting anyone's feelings.

We are just energy beings 

He came to me one night when it was bedtime with tears in his eyes. His words were, "Mom, I just feel so bad" however he couldn't tell me why. I knew that he was just taking on everyone's energy on from the day. I used to be that way when I was a kid. I never really knew how to not take on other people's emotions until I went through the spiritual program with my teacher where I learned how to set boundaries for myself and realize what's mine and what's not.

I teach people all the time how to do that now. I say, "Imagine your energy being pink and everyone else's blue. Your energy is about an arm's length around your body. You leave the house with only pink energy and come home with that energy pink. You don't leave any pink spots behind and you don't walk in with any blue." It's a visual to keep in mind to stay intact. Being empathetic is very different than taking on someone else's energy. You're not doing anyone any favors by taking on their issues. As a matter of fact, you may be depriving them of an opportunity to help themselves.

Breathing meditation 

Back to my son and his anxiety. I decided that I would experiment with my son by doing some breathing exercises. We sat on the bed together and started to do deep breaths together. I said to him, "Breathe in peace, breathe out sadness, breathe in happiness, breathe out anxiety, breathe in calm, breathe out what doesn't serve your body ... " We did this for about 2-3 minutes. I asked him if he felt better and he said he did.

A few days later, he said to me that he's been doing the breathe exercises every single day and he's been feeling better. I was so happy to hear it and somewhat surprised that he'd been practicing on his own. I have been saying recently that my goal for the next year is to learn how to teach kids to meditate.

An hour a week will change the world 

I had heard the Dali Lama say that if every child over the age of five meditated for one hour a week, all violence would be eliminated in a generation. Now that's powerful! I help my kids meditate or do little guided meditations like this all the time. I can't say every story is as successful as this one or that they stick with it daily but I keep at it.

I would love to hear about your mediation techniques!